I’m a Little Radio

Yesterday I was talking to my supervisor at work with regards to the fact that I am always picking up little bits and pieces of info.

And then when I am talking with someone suddenly everything will fall into place and make sense with regards to what I heard.

I.E. Overheard manager speaking to department head about upcoming Saturday.

M: Who is she working with?

DH: David and Grinch (made up names)

M: Oh she will be fine. She can handle anything.

V: I am working this Saturday. With only David and Grinch. (grimace)

Me: Oh that makes sense now.

Our Manager believes she can handle and cope with anything that is thrown at her and he is not wrong.

Unless you are a douche noodle and act a dick.

Then she may or may not be imagining your head dropping into a bucket at the right end of a guillotine.

I digress though.

It is the imagery more that I came up with for myself:

I am like a little radio zooming in and catching only part of the signal.

I thought she was going to pee her pants she laughed so hard at me.

Also discovered a new mantra:

Jay does not look good in a full on orange bodysuit behind bars.

Jay does not look good in a full on orange bodysuit behind bars.

Jay does not look good in a full on orange bodysuit behind bars.

Y’all know I have worked really hard to not allow people or things to get under my skin.

Make my blood boil.

But there is one co-worker and it is because of him that I had to chant the above mantra

over and over during my 8 hour shift yesterday.

I walked away from him so many times yesterday for four reasons:

1. I had to choke down my ‘go fuck yourself’ more than once.
2. I had to remind myself over and over that Manager and Supervisor most definitely frown upon the use of pens and eyeballs meeting.
3. I had to clench my fists so as to not flip him the bird while walking away imaging myself stabbing him in the eye.

He makes my blood boil.

And yes I know I am giving him power.

He is an ignorant asshole who acts like a three year old.

I have though discovered something that annoys him.

I do my job talking to my customers about the sanitized carts and hand sanitizer.

He kept telling me everyone knows.

Well no they don’t dickhead because more than one customer asked me where the clean carts are.

Three times he snarled at me about it.

Guess who is gonna act a total five year old brat now with this knowledge.

Yep that is right…..

ME!

To end yesterday on a high note much like it started:

Tember and I are laying on my bed talking.

Everything and anything.

He talks mostly.

Telling me about different parts of his day.

A very interesting conversation about the word ‘like’ and how everyone at his school uses it way too much.

*Mom pointed out to me a few years ago that I was using ‘like’ a lot. 

 Like a lot like.

 To count every time I used it.

 Stopped using it pretty fast.

 Realized Tember was doing same thing and used same trick with him.

 Which now makes him more susceptible to hearing its multiple use.

 And drive him crazy.

 My work there is done. 

I was petting Lucky when I pulled her ears back and she looked like an angry wet cat.

I laughed about how evil she looked and Tember had to see.

Which suddenly segued into him hanging over me…..

I am going to set this scene for you:

I did not have my glasses on which distorts everything.

Meaning you have to get right close for me to be able to see your facial expression.

Tember suddenly cocks his head to the side as though his neck has become disjointed and in this totally creepy voice:

‘Mommy I love you.’

I was laughing and scared at the same time.

Eventually I had to beg him to stop I was crying from laughing and I actually was now afraid I was going to have nightmares.

Warned him that I might wake him screaming in fear.

He goes to his room and I am about to drift off when I hear:

‘Mommy…..’

I look over and there he is in the doorway…..

Head cocked arms out like everything is disjointed and he has that grin stretched upon his lips and he says:

‘Mommy I love you. What is wrong Mommy? I am not going to hurt you Mommy.’

He was using this creepy sing song voice and I mean creepy.

If I could figure out how to tape it and play for you nightmares would be occurring.

I did warn him though that he might want to remember payback is a bitch.

T: What can you do?

M: You might wake up with me standing over you. Staring at you.

T: How am I going to wake up.

M: From the force of my stare.

T: I don’t think so.

M: Fine I will blow fetid morning breath on your face while standing over you. Staring unblinkingly at you.

T: Mom why would you even do that?

M: Because it would be funny.

T: After I stopped screaming.

M: But then you will laugh.

T: Oh yeah I will most definitely be laughing.

I cannot believe how much alike me he is in this regard.

Time for the pranks to begin.

I have so many.

He he he he he he.

Which leads me to a prank that I want so badly to play.

Not on Tember but my co-workers.

However I have been told more than once that I am not allowed to.

Let me set another scene:

Early morning.

Few employees in.

Someone goes to baler:

(we put all our cardboard boxes and crush them. Make a bale and send off for recycling) and realizes that the stop button has been pushed so they resume start function.

As the baler comes back up an arm would flop up against gate.

I would be in the corner watching this.

Laughing my ass off as they screamed.😂😂😂😂

I would be fired.

But damn the fun that could be had prior to that…..

Tis the season folks.

Have a fantastic Weekend darlinks!

©Oct. 16/20

Pictures via Pinterest

https://www.gyoby.com/

https://imgur.com/gallery/YVCqT4B

https://hubpages.com/entertainment/A-Product-Named-Guillotine

https://friendlystock.com/

https://news.kolbisneat.com/post/40014894613/what-a-note-to-start-the-new-year-on-one-of-my

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/She-Never-Sleeps-Samara-The-Ring-Scary-Horror-Halloween-Costume/1562406?id=1562406&slug=She-Never-Sleeps-Samara-The-Ring-Scary-Horror-Halloween-Costume