And Winner of the Klutz Award of the Year Goes To…..

If y’all guessed me than you are right.
If you guessed yourself pour a coffee sit on down and read about my latest ‘Adventure in Jay’s Life’ as a friend called it.
In the last 5 months I have had 4 work place injuries.
And apparently I must be even.
One week I hurt right hand.
Next week it was the left.
Last week I tripped over a rack hurting my left forearm
Yesterday…..
I arrived at work to disaster.
Well not really but in the middle of the night there had been a power failure.
I was aware as the ex messaged both T and myself at 3 a.m. to see if we had power.
When the power came back on there was a surge (?) or something which blew up/fried our motherboard (?) which connected us to the internet.
And ran our tills.
And the Debit machines.
I had three orders.
Thankfully they were able to be printed off.
Shopping my customers orders without customers in the store?
Bliss.
I got to go up and down the aisles the wrong way.
No worrying about running into anyone other than my co-workers.
No one looking at me funny if I left my cart in the middle of the aisle to run back and get something.
My first order was smaller.
The second in the $300 range.
The third in the $500 range.
Shopped them all so that when tills came back up I only had to ring them through.
The shopping takes me to 1ish.
Had a coffee from 11:20-11:35.
Began ringing through orders.
Call to make arrangements for pick up.
Customers begin coming to pick up their orders.
Take a phone order.
Last customer picks up her order and I quickly process the phone order.
By now it is almost 4.
I still have not had lunch so I decide given that I need to pick T up and have him come start the grocery shop I would take my half hour from 4-4:30.
Take my order in to the cooler.
There is a pallet on the floor and as I put the box down I tripped over it.
Falling hard on my butt/right hip/right arm.
The customer’s order including two 12 packs of pop lands on top of me.
I sat there yelling fuck fuck fuck.
Stormed out of the cooler and demanded well actually snarled that I needed the pallet moved.
Told our assistant manager what happened and as he is head of the Health & Safety Committee he is on the hunt for the person who left it there.
Went and got a form from our manager so I could fill the form out.
He chuckled and said something about my having a rough time of it.
I did not mention the last two injuries either.
Left and picked T up.
Came back.
Found out my shift changed today as I am now working curbside instead of cart cleaning.
Worked from 4:30-4:45.
Took my last coffee and shopped with T.
We came home and T helped me unload and unpack the groceries.
He made dinner.
He fed the cats.
He hung out with me all evening only going to his room when I went to mine.
And has assured me that he will clean the kitchen today before I get home.
I am thinking my disappointment in him on Wednesday may have sunk in.
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Tonight the plan is to hang out and play a video game.
Bendy and The Ink Machine.
Last time we played on the computer I was screaming and he left the room.
I also would not play when home alone.
I am a bit sore today.
Okay a lot.
It hurts to move and I am hobbling.
I have rubbed the anti-inflammatory into my upper arm and shoulder.
Where I could reach on back.
So that is down to a dull thudding.
My butt hurts to sit on.
It is a good thing that I stand at work all day.
I think that there is a klutz gene that runs in our family.
Everyone has it.
Mom.
Me.
T.
My niece.
My cousins.
No one is safe.
Huh maybe I should invest in Bubble Wrap stock.
Have a Fabulous Friday all.
©Jan. 22/21
Pictures are my own

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

A single hard working mom of a soon to be teenage son. A poet and story teller I have wanted to write since I was a child. This space is where I share stories about myself and my life and the creative poetry that stirs my soul. My hope is you will pull up a chair and a cup of coffee delving into the world that I offer and you find simple enjoyment for a few moments. Welcome to The Wonderful & Wacky World of One Single Mom

10 thoughts on “And Winner of the Klutz Award of the Year Goes To…..”

  1. You numpty! Hope your bum has got better overnight…..and isn’t an interesting mix of purple, yellow etc. There’s an old diy saying that may be adaptable and adoptable…..”Measure twice, cut once”…..could become…”Look twice, avoid trip hazards”.

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    1. Lol I know some days are not my best. My back and arm are still aching a bit but going for a massage at noon today and she will work on. I swept and vacuumed yesterday which seems to have exacerbated inflammation and all the work she had done two weeks ago has to be redone. I most definitely need to take more care with myself and slow down. Other than the colorful bruise all is good. It just sucks that I got a pain in the derriere and it was not from a spanking! Some people find that funny and others just look at me funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Have a great Sunday

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      1. An old neighbour did aromatherapy and was great for relieving niggling muscles….we’d start of blethering about the kids and within five minutes of her starting massaging my back and shoulders I’d be zonked…did work though 👌…..had previously asked junior to dance on whichever shoulder muscles needed it….but a few years post toddling and he was likely to do more damage. Shaking my head re arse skelping…to each their own 🙄…..but wondering how your bruising would fair in a Rorschach test 🤔.

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