This is not the Last Memory

T and I were arguing last week.
This seems to be a regular thing of late and I get it.
He is almost a teenager and striving to loosen my grip on his arm.
He wants freedom.
I want school work done.
We are working on this.
 
The amount of work that he has not done or is left half done is unacceptable.
And T knows this.
He has been telling me all along that his work is being done.
Well silly mom believing that he could be trusted to do all the work without my hanging over top of him.
 
My teaching is like my training.
Explain it once and then do it.
Hands on that is my style.
I believe you learn faster and are able to make it work in your mind with your own tricks and techniques.
So imagine how frustrating it is to both T and I when this technique does not work well for him.
His wanting me to tell him what to write and say is not a technique that works at all for me.
I have told him to use Google.
Or go and get himself an encyclopedia.encyclopedia
 
It is his reading.
I look at his test and read the instructions.
All of them.     
T stopped after the first item.
Which meant he neglected to read that three sentences were required for each of the 5 words he was to choose.
 
Next up the fact that I cannot read his printing.
At all.
I mean I am left handed and my writing is hard to decipher. 
When I was younger mom use to say that a course in reading my handwriting should be made mandatory.
Only she and my bestie were able to read it without issue.
I still have funky printing. 
And I do have to print because I work with kids who do not know what cursive writing is.
And my co-workers do not have the experience required to decipher my dips and dots.
My N’s look like D’s when capitalized.
Once I was asked who Dik was?
It was an N.ny
 
He asked me what the food chain definition and example were.
I told him I was not telling him again.
That I have now explained it four times.
He was not listening.
 
Look I get it.
I cannot even tell T why he must go to school and learn all these things.
Subjects and ideas that once he leaves school will never be thought of again.
The Ex too struggles because our son is asking him the exact same questions that he asked his dad.
Why are we learning about things that I do not need to know if I am never going to be using them?
And well I have to agree.
 
New Math was created because it is literally memorization.
Not the new but the old math.
I guess someone out there felt that that meant the little critters were not suffering sufficiently so let’s throw in 
seven steps to get an answer that everyone else in the world can do in one step.
I agree it is stupid.
Teachers everywhere can get mad at me but dude seriously…..
5+6=11.
Not 5 and 5 equal 10 and 6 minus 5 is 1. Now add that 1 to 10 and you get 11.
The answer.
Not only did the poor kid have to figure this out he has to write it all out too.
 
T is trying to get me down to an hour of homework a night.
I told him I would prefer he finish sooner.
For I too am being punished with homework.
I too at 48 am reading math and ELA.
Because I have to now be the drill sergeant.
And I cannot watch t.v. as it would distract him.
He never thought of it that way.
 
It would also stand him in good stead to do the work rather than bitch about it.
Yesterday he lolled on the couch next to me telling me about his day.
About everyone’s day.
When I tried to redirect him he complained that I was not listening to his day.
I get it he is not at all interested in doing this work.
But it must be done.
 
I was stood at the sink last week shaking after another morning of waking The Beast.
Once more I had to go in and wake him four or five times.
He refused to shower.
He cuddled the cats.
He told me the work was easy.
The day before he told me it was too hard to do and he needed my assistance.
I was furious.
I may have called bullshit.
 
Me: You know that I am not going to be here forever right?
T: Yeah why are you telling me this? 
Me: I don’t like starting our mornings arguing. I don’t like it when we argue at all.
T: I don’t like it either.
Me: I do not want that to be my last memory of you. 
T (confused): What?
Me: If this was my last memory of us I would not want it to be of us fighting.
T: Are you dying?
Me: No I just don’t like the fighting. And anything could happen. To either of us. 
And I would never want that to be the last memory I held.
 
This is my week with T.
He will work his way through this mound of work.
I have told him that this will occur this week.
For I graduated 30 years ago.
After learning all the normal Maths (you know) and English.
And I refuse to go back.
It’s like the recurring dream I have.
Where I am back in high school as an adult because it turns out I never really graduated.
 
Yeah imagine that one.
Now realize I am living it.
Out of my head.
In reality.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.memory
 
©March 2/21
Picture is my own
Pictures via Pinterest

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

A single hard working mom of a soon to be teenage son. A poet and story teller I have wanted to write since I was a child. This space is where I share stories about myself and my life and the creative poetry that stirs my soul. My hope is you will pull up a chair and a cup of coffee delving into the world that I offer and you find simple enjoyment for a few moments. Welcome to The Wonderful & Wacky World of One Single Mom

16 thoughts on “This is not the Last Memory”

    1. Last evening we worked on the math homework and by the time he was finished T was whipping through the answers. He realized the numbers never change. That is a bonus. Next up is tackling his extra school work. Once he gets back on track and is all caught up hopefully he will continue to move forward and stay on track. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Once again, I must give you praise as a mom. It’s hard and you want to throttle them at times, yet you persist in being there and helping. One of the many things I never, ever, ever got at home was help with homework. Not checking to see it was done or if I was understanding it. Parenting is hard work!!! You’re putting in the effort and he’ll thank you for it one day… even if he hates you for it right now. ♥ 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. It can be hard and yesterday was the straw but in the end it has turned out ok I think. I am planning to blog on it later but I am thinking that he is wising up to it. I am hopeful he is going to get on board anyways. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I received a text from a close friend yesterday, I had sent her an email with D’s story attached and I asked her to read it, (I’m turning it into a novella) she sent me a text saying she was currently in English lit class and the teacher was just explaining the story of Romeo & Juliet to everyone, my friend kept interrupting her to correct her and has been told off! She doesn’t like being back at school either, she’s 53! 😋😋😋

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This scares me a bit because I have a daughter that seems to be very stubborn… Of course, as his mom you know him better, but why not find out what his learning style is and adapt to that? Sometimes it’s not just ignorance or stubbornness. To this day I don’t understand some concepts until someone draws them out for me. I was guilty of pretending to understand at school then asking my peers to explain because teachers were very rigid and made it about me not listening. Now I am working a very good job – not at all hindered by my inability to not grasp certain concepts in class. I attribute this to the friends and family that explained it to me in a fun and easy way to understand. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He drifts off. When the subject interests him he will study and learn. But for subjects he is not keen on such as math he tends to think on other things. Such as the logistics of Canada taking over the world. He has big plans my boy. Making the world nice for everyone. We will work together and get him through this. And adapt. Not can I really fault him for losing inti other thoughts. I wrote my novel all throughout high school. In class mostly. Because I was bored. But as a parent I gotta fake it lol 🤣🤷🤗🤓💜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I do every day lol. It is so hard to mom him when hell I can’t answer some of his questions. And I get it I hated having to learn about subjects that I have no recall on. I mean occasionally I dredge up some forgotten knowledge but not often. Now subjects I loved I can still have a conversation about. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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