I died laughing so hard last night.
I am talking I was begging T to stop talking because I could not stop laughing.
And my abs hurt.
In part from working out and the laughing only intensified that.
T decided that instead of taking sandwiches for lunch yesterday he was going to take the leftover mac and cheese from the night before that he had made.
Easier.
He does not mind eating it cold.
When he first got home we talked about how I did not want to go to his dad’s today and have my tires looked at.
Yesterday morning when the ex picked up T he told me my front passenger side tire was almost flat.
Almost flat.
I was ok guess I need to get air will do that on the way to work.
No the tires need to be looked at.
Fine…..ugh.
I suggested that he pick my car up and leave me his and we could do an exchange later.
Nope not going to work because T has company coming.
The ex told T he could not figure out why I was so bent out of shape he was doing the work for free.
Yeah however it is my day off and as I told T last night after he leaves I plan on speaking to no one for the rest of the day.
T: But mom what if I need you. You won’t answer if I text you?
Me: Of course I would respond. That is not talking though.
T: But what if I called you? Would you answer?
Me: You never call me. Why would you call me?
T: Idk what if I am trapped in the bathroom at school by a bear?
Me: When the school called I would tell them to call your dad. That it was his week.
(I am giggling while he looks horrified)
T: Mom everyone knows that when their child(ren) are in danger their moms become like the Hulk. And they will TKO anyone.
Me (laughing): Not if it is your dad’s week. He can rescue you from the bear.
T: Mom he would never answer.
Me: Oh well I guess you are SOL than.
He was not impressed with me on this one despite the laughing.
T: I forgot to take a fork for my mac and cheese.
Me (opening my mouth to ask):
T: I had to eat with my hands.
Me: Your hands. (giggling begins)
T: Yes. And I was so embarrassed at the dentist’s with my orange shirt.
Me: Why were your hands still orange? (still giggling)
T: Mom I washed my hands my shirt was orange. What did you think I left them orange? Here comes the mac and cheese man.
(He begins his sideways walk waving his arms in the air)
T: Do you want my mac and cheese hands to get you? Let me touch you with my mac and cheese fingers.
I am screaming with laughter and he is grabbing my hands with his grubby hands.
T: Mac and Cheese Man reading your thoughts.
He flops on the end of the bed and I am still howling.
T looks at me like I have gone off the deep end.
I am gasping for air; tears rolling down my cheeks.
Me: I (laughing uncontrollably)am sure…..I find this way funnier than you will.
T: What?
Me: laughing
T: Mom
Me: I have this image…..
Me: I have this image of you…..
T: Mom!
Me: I have this image of you with handfuls of mac and cheese shovelling them into your mouth!
More laughter.
T: Mom there was not even enough there for a handful.
The actual image I had in my mind’s eye:
T hunched over like a cave man shoveling handfuls of mac and cheese into his wide open mouth.
And I could not get it out.
Once more folks I cried myself to sleep…..from laughing with my son.
©June 18/21
Pictures found on Pinterest
The Wonderful and Wacky World of One Single Mom 