When It No Longer Makes Sense

More children found in unmarked graves.

Torn from the arms of mothers and fathers.

Striped of their identities; self.

Abused.

Tortured.

Exterminated.

To remake them in the image of the church’s god.

A white god.

A human allowed to die in agonizing pain because god was the answer to cure the cancer that ate away at her.

Locked away in the back room.

Screams no longer able to be uttered.

She begged until her throat was raw for anything to relieve her pain.

Yet was not allowed for it went against the teachings of the church.

When written that way almost sounds as though I am writing the blurb for a book.

However it is not.

Those are blurbs for articles I read yesterday.

The catholic church still has yet to offer an apology.

Not apologizing for the priests or nuns but apologizing that as an institution it had a hand in these evils that were built.

I realize it is not as simple as that however it is a damn good place to start.

But when you believe that you can do no wrong and really would like to shove this whole huge mess under the rug (much like they do with pedophile priests) it is hard to say the words I am sorry.

That means that you have to admit that words you took from the bible; phrases used to justify your actions; which you accredited to a higher power were wrong.

Either the god you serve is a narcissistic and evil who cares nothing for the people who worship at his feet or y’all fucked up in your interpretations.

Someone has to suck it up and be a man.

In the second instance one might think that I am going a little over the top.

Yet I am not.

Part of what I wrote is based on an article I read last night from a woman who escaped the church out in my area.

A church that demeans its members.

A church that allows no moving pictures.

A church where men are the be all end all.

A church using hell to frighten small children.

A church that does not believe in science.

The other part is I am aware of the person whom she is referring to.

And I ask how when one can see that prayer is not working can you refuse to aid in pain control?

Watching a person being eaten from the inside out whittling away until at the time of death their skin is stretched so taut; so yellow that they appear a mummy-eyes sunken into their head and still you ignore their pleas for help I have to wonder how does one sleep at night?

How inhumane to allow a person to suffer in such agonizing and excruciating pain offering up prayers to ease them.

I am fully aware that how I view things is totally different than how the next person to me does.

Differing ideas and opinions are what make this world go ’round.

I also know that my disgust and indignation at these two organized groups is my own and again others will see that there is absolutely nothing wrong with either situations as described.

I cannot change the world.

I cannot even change how my son thinks never mind anyone else but if I choose to sit on the sidelines; reading articles and not feeling a sense of sorrow/empathy/outrage/anger/pain-the list goes on-I may as well say I too agree.

I agree with the mentality we saw and still see.

I do not.

Which is why I write about them.

Why I write about how they so sicken me.

Thank you for allowing me a brief moment of rant in your daily read.

I know I can be strident and sound as though I have all the answers.

I don’t.

What I do have is a big heart and a need to write out the pain I find as I read these stories.

©June 24/21

Picture is my own

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