No One Told Me It Would Be This Hard

Two weeks.
Two weeks and my child turns into a teenager.
I am not ready for this at all.
I cried this morning at work telling two of my co-workers. 😭😭😭😭
I cried telling K and she cried too.
I know that I am doing a good job.
I know that he is smart and responsible.
But he is my baby and I swear to all I know I just gave birth to him yesterday. 👶👱
 
I know that I am not alone in this but really never did I think it would be this hard.
 
He left this morning for his dad’s.
They are going on a fishing trip and the ex is wanting to leave right after he gets off work tomorrow morning.
His girlfriend will be there tonight with T.
I am trying my best not to fret and worry.
I get anxious when he is gone this long from me. 😒
Monday evening I will see him again.
 
It isn’t that I don’t trust the ex but I am blessed/cursed with a wicked imagination.
I can come up with situations that no one else would even consider and end up crying. 😥
I have talked to myself about this.
I am aware that it is anxiety.
Which I hide from T.
So I am planning a weekend of Jay.
Sun tanning. 🌞🌞🌞
Reading. 📖
Spa bath. 🛀
A full pot of coffee. ☕
Sending my anxiety away for a bit.
 
Last night T came barreling out of his room.
 
T: Mom do we have an AAA batteries?
Me: I don’t know look in the drawer.
T: I don’t see any. Are you sure that there are none anywhere else.
Me: If there are none in the drawer than  no I need to get some.
T: I won’t be able to turn my t.v. on and off. Or adjust the volumn.
Me: Use the buttons on the t.v.
T: I have buttons on my t.v. ?
 
He leaves and goes into his room.
 
T: J did you know there were buttons on the t.v.? This is cool.
 
I laughed and shook my head at the same time. 😂😂😂🤦🤦🤦🤦
Where did I go wrong?
In some cases he is so smart and has brilliant ideas. ☺☺☺
In others I wonder how he ties his shoes on his own. 😜😜😜
 
©July 21/21
Picture via Pinterest
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