Life Support Required

The other morning T came stumbling out of his room after I had woken him to get ready for his dad to pick him up.
Blonde hair standing on end.
Big feet.
Barely awake.
Drinking chocolate milk from the container.
He puts the bread in the toaster and leans against the counter to wait.
It pops.
He likes his toast barely cooked.
I like my toast nice and toasty.
It is a battle.
The drawer opens and closes.
The cupboard opens and closes.
T: Mom why would you put this in the cupboard?
Me: What?
T: Why would you put the empty peanut butter in the cupboard?
Me (walking over) What? You can still scrape it out.
T: Mom it is on life support! (rattling the container at me)
Me: There is enough there.
T: Mom why would you do that? It is very disappointing for a person to get up and think ‘yeah I want peanut butter toast.’ And there is no peanut butter. It is very crushing.
Me: laughing
T: I am throwing it out mom. Do not put it back in the cupboard. And is peanut butter on the shopping list?
I should have taken a picture of the offending jar of peanut butter.
He went to throw it out but there was no bag in the garbage can.
So it sat on the counter.
Staring at me accusingly.
Until I came home and threw it out.
And peanut butter is still on the list.
©Aug. 1/21
Picture via Pinterest
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