When did it happen to You?

Last evening T was throwing a bit of attitude at me which lead to me stating that if he did not stop I was going to not allow him to go out and trick or treat tonight.
He wanted to know why I got to have attitude and he did not?
Me: I am the adult. I am the one who pays the bills and puts the food on the table. When you are an adult and have children you can have all the attitude you want and when they demand to know why you get to have attitude you can tell them because that is what I said happened.
T to J: I cannot wait to be an adult.
I was just going in to have a soak in the tub when he said this.
I opened the bathroom door and looked at them.
Me: When do you think you become an adult?
T: 18
Me: That is when the law says you are an adult. When do you think you become an adult?
T & J: 16
Me: When do you think that you become an adult?
T & J: 16.
Me: When do you think that you become an adult?
T: When did you become an adult mom?
Me: End of 2017. I grew up. I realized that I made the choices and I was responsible for the consequences. I began to become the person that I want to be.
T: You have only been an adult for 4 years?
Me: That is how I see it.
This is true.
I coasted in life before then.
Drinking.
Taking pills.
Running from my existence.
Now.
I am present.
I do not look towards a future where I see a better time of it; that better time is now.
I raise T how I want him to be.
Not how society thinks that he should be raised.
I want him to have a voice.
I want him to be responsible.
I want him to be accountable.
I want him to be better.
Better than me.
I guide him along this pathway of life.
Teaching by example not by the words that I speak.
Soon one day he is going to spread his wings and take flight.
He will look back every so often to make sure that I am still there but my importance will diminish as his own rises.
I look at the young man T is today and know he is going to be a great adult one day.
So long as he realizes that being an adult is not dependent on age.
©Oct. 31/21
Picture is my own

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

A single hard working mom of a soon to be teenage son. A poet and story teller I have wanted to write since I was a child. This space is where I share stories about myself and my life and the creative poetry that stirs my soul. My hope is you will pull up a chair and a cup of coffee delving into the world that I offer and you find simple enjoyment for a few moments. Welcome to The Wonderful & Wacky World of One Single Mom

16 thoughts on “When did it happen to You?”

  1. I agree because I know plenty of adults who still don’t act like it, myself included some days. You are right though, it definitely doesn’t go by age. I have one son who is forty going on 16, lol. He’s about to get a rude awakening I’m afraid. I just hope all the people he thinks are friends will help him out when he does. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m still not up for Adulting! I grew up too young, too fast and hit the wall too hard when I got there. I am happily entering into my second childhood now since raising my child to be the man he needed to become. In other words, not like his father in any way, shape or form, his attitude is fabulous and he adults himself superbly, (and me too sometimes LOL). But, I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said here. Becoming an Adult is not about age, it is about mental stability, maturity, and the ability to understand there are consequences for every decision you make.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Nah, I just agreed with you is all, the order of the words is immaterial to the message they are sending. I love the relationship you have with T, it reminds me of how D and I were when he was T’s age. Pretty much the same kind of scenarios too lol, except that I would have to ask D why he was trying to get in the washing machine, all he needed to do was put his clothes in there. He lost his balance frequently and would periodically topple out of his chair and try and go head first into which ever machine he was attempting to load. His wheels would end up on the other side of the kitchen on occasion. It has to be said, I am a terrible mother, I would cry laughing before I would assist him🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Not at all given that would be my response as well. J told T if he talked to his mom like that he would be grounded. I don’t see the point. If T wants to be mouthy so be it. There will always be a lesson to be taught when he does. I love the kid but he does have a mouth that sometimes runs off without thought. He has also threatened to tell his dad I don’t think he is an adult. 😂😂😂😂😂😂I asked if he could deny it.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh my gosh. You nailed it!!!! My 18-year-old daughter (who I think was born an adult), often comments about the immaturity of the 18-21 year-olds from work and school. She said, “I can ignore it from the 15 & 16 year-olds, but these people are old enough to know better!”

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Old enough to know better and doing better are two very different things. I am okay with acknowledging that before I was not ready to be here. I know it sounds strange but it is how I view it. Same as being a mom. If I had had T earlier I would have been a horrible mom. I had him when I was ready. Although brain and body decided that one. 😂😂😂😂

      Liked by 3 people

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