A Little Thought

What is embarrassment?
According to the dictionary it means the act of being embarrassed.
What is embarrass:
According to the dictionary it means to cause confusion and shame; make uncomfortably self-conscious; disconcert; abash, etc.
I have thinking on this.
Why?
Who knows why these things come to mind for me.
At work when I am not pulling orders or on a general task for someone else I am facing.
I know that I have mentioned this before and I should probably explain what the term means.
Next time you are in a grocery store and going down the aisle look at the spaces where they are all neat and tidy.
The boxes/bottles all lined up and to the front.
Labels facing right way.
Product in the right spot.
But there may only be one or two in the row despite the back being right full.
That is facing.
Making the shelves look neat and tidy.
I do a lot of this.
Which means I have a lot of time to really ruminate on the thoughts that find their way through my subconscious to the conscious.
Embarrassment is caused by ego.
Fall in front of people and the very first thought is: ‘I must look like a fool.’
Second thought: ‘Did anyone see me? I hope not.’
Third thought: ‘Everyone is laughing at me.’
Despite evidence to the contrary most people’s first thought is not to laugh.
It is to make sure that you are alright.
Then post the video to the internet.
I am kidding.
Thing is we all fall.
I don’t know about y’all but I am a huge klutz.
Falling up stairs.
Falling over thin air.
And I always look to see if someone has seen me.
Why though?
Why should that concern me especially if I am limping away in pain?
Ego.
Embarrassment is based on ego.
On how you think people view you and your abilities.
I was born on a Tuesday.
And Tuesday’s child is said to be full of grace.
Not me.
Does realizing that my embarrassment is caused by my ego going to mean that I will no longer be embarrassed?
I don’t know.
But let me tell you a little story about work this week:
We have a standing order on Wednesdays for our community outreach program.
100-1 Liter milks (0,1,2 & 3%).
Last week when I went to get the order I could not see it so I pulled off the shelf.
I am also not about to start heaving crates full of milk around to try and find what I need.
This week I stopped the grocery manager to ask if the extra milk had been ordered and he thought that it had.
I said thanks and went to walk away.
GM: So hey last week when you could not find the milk it was there. It was in the middle of the order.
Previous to this I would have been so embarrassed and defensive. Except I wasn’t.
Me: Well hey look at it this way. I took milk that was getting close to dated. November 25-30. All fresh stuff in the cooler. Sometimes my being blind does have benefits. 
He looked at me a little funny and walked away.
I am not wrong though.
©November 27/21
Picture is my own
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