2022 Hello

2021 left an imprint on my mind and my emotions.

Much like the above picture I felt out of control and scattered all over the place.

I am still in a way feeling like that.

I began 2021 optimistic and full of elan.

I have left 2021 behind on a blanket of dreams.

That is I was in bed by 9:30 p.m. and despite the best efforts of having set an alarm for midnight when it went off I turned it off, rolled over and went back to sleep.

There are so many things to be grateful for in 2021:

Friends

Family

Life

Job

Positivity

Laughter

Joy

Love

Things that I am not so thrilled with in 2021:

Lack of creativity

Lethargic i.e. no desire to read or write

Now the more that I have thought on the last two I have come to the realization that I think it is my glasses.

I only look at the screen really truly through the left lens.

I find myself tilting my head.

I have had to increase the font on all my pages.

It is easier to watch t.v. and play games on my phone.

This guy has been keeping me company.

Cuddling with me.

Waking me up at 10:56 p.m. last night crying like a madman.

That cry that gets under your skin.

Sounds like a screaming drill digging into metal.

Screeching.

At a decibel level that humans are not suppose to be able to hear but somehow he drags me up there.

He then work me up at 3 a.m. trying to snuggle up to me.

I think?

He wandered around me a bit and then took off.

Mom was up and sent me a good morning shortly after I sent her one.

She could not sleep so I provided her with a good old fashioned life has gotten to be too much for me rant.

I had a breakdown.

Soap Opera worthy.

Raging.

Crying.

Ugly crying.

All while using Google Text Talk because I was so upset that my fingers could not keep up with my thoughts.

The last message was a voice one because when you have cried so hard your nose is stuffed full the microphone does not pick things up correctly.

Mom ended up calling me as she could not understand the voice message at all.

We chatted a little and off she has gone to walk her Rocky.

I have settled down since my cryfest this morning.

I feel that I have purged all the negative feelings and I can go forward with positivity.

I choose to go forward with positivity.

©Jan. 2/22

My top picture is one I sent K from work. I had been carrying a bunch of cases of lighters and they fell from my arms.