Some Days

Are a little harder than others.

Today is one of those days.

Despite painting and having sat outside reading, the overwhelming sense of sadness has infused my being. I have spent a lot of time this evening crying.

About what? Who knows. In my head it could be one of a million things that in this state suddenly become so overblown. From turning 50 to the feeling that I let so many people down.

To feeling like I am just faking my way through things. That in truth I have no idea what I am doing or where I am going. That I am just coasting along without any real purpose until I die.

And while 99.9% of the time I am good, today is the .01% that is kicking my ass.

Tomorrow will resume with my normal cheerful demeanor.

Aug. 14/22

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