Take Me To Church, Lady

If you have never read a post by this blog you have been doing yourself a disservice. Please put down any beverages you may be holding and prepare to laugh.


I’m getting frustrated with my car phone lady. The voice recognition system has no trouble with very complex names like Donna-Louise Martin, Suzanne Work, or Jeff Goldblum (yes, sometimes he texts me, and it’s really him, it really is), but when I say ‘Ken’, this inevitably happens:

Car Phone Lady: Ready.
Me: Call.
Car Phone Lady: Please say the name or number to call.
Me: Ken.
Car Phone Lady: Did you say ‘Karen’?
Me: No.
Car Phone Lady: Did you say ‘Joe’?
Me: NO! Ken. Call Ken!
Car Phone Lady: OK. Calling ‘Maria’.

So I edited my contact so that Ken’s name shows up as ‘Kenneth’, thinking that it was the one-syllable thing that was confounding her, but it made no difference. Every single goddamn time, it’s “Did you say ‘Kenneth’?” until I’m yelling “OBVIOUSLY, YOU ROBOTIC WENCH! IT’S ALWAYS KENNETH!!”

Aside from that, the only thing that happened last…

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35.5 Hours to Go

Tomorrow is a big day. For me. It is total change of the guard for me.

At 8:05 p.m. Monday evening I will enter my 5th decade of life.

I am turning 50 and have to say that it is a real struggle. As much as I love my birthday I am having some real issues this year.

Not sure as to what if anything T has planned. The Ex has gotten me a gift card for Amazon so will be making some purchases. Other than that mom is at the lake with the uncle who hates me so will not hear from her until late as he will ensure that they do not arrive home early enough. And yes mom he does hate me look at his behaviour towards me and you will also see it.

Happy Birthday to me.

Aug. 28/22

Aug. 29 @ 8:05 p.m. I really will be 50.

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