Cold Comfort

How do I do it?
How do I get through the day?
When inside
I have felt death's cold hand
I have stared into his pitiless eyes
letting go of my heart.
You want me to smile.
You want me to comfort you.
You want.....
you want.....
you want.....
behind closed doors
you do not want to be 
to hear the screams
to see me fall
crumpled 
clutching a broken teddy bear.
You wonder if life is getting on
and I wonder
when pain is all you know
holding you in its nettled embrace
do you begin to live?
Insensitive.
Ignorant.
I cannot.....
comfort you.
I cannot.....
smile as you suggest.
Grey skies
reflect my state of mind
slate cold
shards of rain
slashing through
as I wander.
No destination. 
No desire.
Nothing.
Only darkness
a bleak cold future
that is what I see.....
And how are you?

©Jan. 13/22