Bitter tears and twisted smiles
ashes within my mouth
hidden daggers sheathed in my soul
tangled words you should not have spoken.
Cruel lies whispered with disdain
chains that wrapped and held
close me in this nightmarish hell
and abandon me with nary a farewell.
I will rise from the flames you consigned me to
better and stronger than before
and when I do you need to be aware
and search the shadows for the animal
you did create.
I trusted you at a time when all deferred
holding your hand in a time of terror
as you did loudly proclaim
your sincere innocence.
I followed your lead, pushed them all away
locking myself away in the dark
Your words were like whips stinging
your lips stroked with velvet steel
your caresses desirous to me.
I lost myself within your reason
I lost myself within your greed
I lost myself within your desire
for it was how I had to pay.
I brood, and I snarl with disgust, watching you slither
your voice is but a whine pitched deep in my ear
a whine that I want to stop
a whine replaced by a blade?
Pin pricks dotted with blood
you yelp and you disclaim
Am I suppose to hear your sorries
am I suppose to really believe you are sane?
I know the voices I hear are my own
there are no others within my head
So here is the fear that you must accept
I am always going to make you pay.
Beneath my skin bloody gouges
unseen by those who say that they care
As long as the story matches the faces
they don’t need to acknowledge.
Do you hear my silent plea for help?
my eyes are bruised with fear, desperation
I stink of sweat hoping that you will notice
Unable to project my voice.
You can read about me in the paper
the guilt that I swear I hope eats
My child the one you cooed over
motherless because you did not speak…..
you did not act and make a report……
tonight was the night that the violence burst free
and tonight was the night I needed someone to see.