Untitled 9

Bitter tears and twisted smiles

ashes within my mouth

hidden daggers sheathed in my soul

tangled words you should not have spoken.

Cruel lies whispered with disdain

chains that wrapped and held

close me in this nightmarish hell

and abandon me with nary a farewell.

I will rise from the flames you consigned me to

better and stronger than before

and when I do you need to be aware

and search the shadows for the animal

you did create.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

June 11/17

Exploited

I trusted you at a time when all deferred

holding your hand in a time of terror

as you did loudly proclaim

your sincere innocence.

I followed your lead, pushed them all away

locking myself away in the dark

isolated

weakened

and unsure.

Your words were like whips stinging

your lips stroked with velvet steel

your caresses desirous to me.

I lost myself within your reason

I lost myself within your greed

I lost myself within your desire

for it was how I had to pay.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

June 5/17

 

Acceptance

I brood, and I snarl with disgust, watching you slither

your voice is but a whine pitched deep in my ear

a whine that I want to stop

a whine replaced by a blade?

Pin pricks dotted with blood

you yelp and you disclaim

Am I suppose to hear your sorries

am I suppose to really believe you are sane?

I know the voices I hear are my own

there are no others within my head

So here is the fear that you must accept

I am always going to make you pay.

 

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

March 2/17

 

Look Away

Beneath my skin bloody gouges

unseen by those who say that they care

As long as the story matches the faces

they don’t need to acknowledge.

Do you hear my silent plea for help?

my eyes are bruised with fear, desperation

I stink of sweat hoping that you will notice

Unable to project my voice.

You can read about me in the paper

the guilt that I swear I hope eats

My child the one you cooed over

motherless because you did not speak…..

you did not act and make a report……

tonight was the night that the violence burst free

and tonight was the night I needed someone to see.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

3/2/17