Addiction

He stood over the abyss, toes curled against rock

the thirst, the hunger

the anger, the hatred

eating at his soul.

Within his mind bruised the words

of mobs chasing

who thought they were better

who thought they should know.

On his knees he crawled through filth and muck

weeping tears that none could see.

A sneer twists his lips,

wicked words that punish those

who thought they knew best

who thought they knew more.

A false thought of flight

as he jumps forth to the air

waiting for the rescue

he was certain was near.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

June 16/17

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Bitter tears and twisted smiles

ashes within my mouth

hidden daggers sheathed in my soul

tangled words you should not have spoken.

Cruel lies whispered with disdain

chains that wrapped and held

close me in this nightmarish hell

and abandon me with nary a farewell.

I will rise from the flames you consigned me to

better and stronger than before

and when I do you need to be aware

and search the shadows for the animal

you did create.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

June 11/17

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You Swore! You Promised!

Spittle covers my dejected face

as I fall to my knees.

Tattered rags and dirt covered feet

attest to how far I have come.

I watch the disdain play a game

trying to hide and yet failing.

I watch those of your court pity me

but there is nothing I can do.

You swore that you would protect me!

You promised that you would love me!

And yet here I am, abased on the floor.

I hear the clack of heels as you walk away,

I hear the murmur of voices in my head,

in a flash with a blade of steel

I have ended your life.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

June 6/17

 

 

Exploited

I trusted you at a time when all deferred

holding your hand in a time of terror

as you did loudly proclaim

your sincere innocence.

I followed your lead, pushed them all away

locking myself away in the dark

isolated

weakened

and unsure.

Your words were like whips stinging

your lips stroked with velvet steel

your caresses desirous to me.

I lost myself within your reason

I lost myself within your greed

I lost myself within your desire

for it was how I had to pay.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

June 5/17

 

Castle in the Sky

I lay upon the grassy knoll

staring at the sky above

creating sandcastles and dreams

from the clouds floating by.

Near my head

a silent vibrating phone

that I chose to ignore.

The pain I feel

the scorching of my soul

no words that you have spoken

will heal this scar.

Tears course down silvered cheeks

tiny lips quivering with fear

when above me it forms.

My Castle in the Sky.

My home away from here.

My Castle in the Sky.

Remember me with kindness.

 

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

June 5/17

 

Promises

Alone,

lost in the memories of before

I dream of folly.

I knew it was not true

but I want to believe in those promises.

I wanted to believe that the hope you gave me

I wanted to believe in the mirage I held

sandcastles built in the sky

balanced on the clouds of my dreams.

Tears I have wept, tears I have cried

dejected with the loss of your heat.

Alone,

lost in all those memories of before

and knowing it never meant a thing to you at all.

 

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

May 28/17

 

 

Love Failed

On the morrow when my heart is breaking

when the tears are filling mine eyes

I will seek for thee

in memory.

I will watch with wonder as once more

our love does grow so wild

I will watch with agony as we come undone

bitter in such defeat.

Once upon a time came to us

once upon a time we failed

Once upon a time winter’s snow did creep

and the blackness enthralled.

 

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

May 22/17