He Ain’t No Cupid

T arrived home from his dad last night and we had our evening chat.
Or rather he follows me and talks.
And talks.
And talks.
Last night was no exception.
We were discussing his father and summer.
Which is when I discover that the man has broken up with girlfriend number 6 or 7 because while he liked her a great deal she had the audacity to fall in love with him.
Poor woman.
Also the third in 6 months that he has attempted to make my friend.
As though I have problem making my own friends.
But I digress.
This is an ongoing theme with him and I really wish he would either stop dating until he gets his shit together or quit bringing them home to T.
In the 6 years that we have been apart the man has to count his women on two hands.
And those are the ones that I know of.
T: Mom I so learned one thing from this love lesson of dad’s.
Me: Which is what?
T: Do not go to dad for relationship advice.
I rolled.
I howled.
I laughed so hard.
We then segued into some conversation that ended up with my crying.
I was laughing so hard.
T was hanging onto the counter.
I was laying in bed and I thought that I heard humming.
I listened a little more and realized that it is the same tune that I hum when I bored.
Now I have not hummed in a long long time.
Usually only  when there is no music and I always have music.
Finally realized that it was T.
Me: T are you humming?
T: Huh?
Me: Humming? Are you?
T: Yeah why?
Me: Where did you hear that tune?
T:  I don’t know I just hum it.
Me That is the same tune that I hum.
T: I stole it from your thoughts.
Lately I have been seeing shadows.
As though someone is leaning against the kitchen counter looking into my room.
Leaning against the door.
Running along the floor.
Not in the creepy upside down scuttling like a possessed person more like a little kid zooming out of the corner of my eye.
It is actually Loki in that one before you start calling for priests.
While I know that they are shadows I will admit my heart has stopped on more than one occasion when I have seen them.
You know those tube mascot type men?
inflatable
Now picture my beast of a child standing next to my bed…..
in shadows…..
knees bent in the Zyborg fashion and he starts waving his arms and bending.
Me: What are you doing? Stop it!
T: This is how I steal your thoughts.
Me: What the hell! T stop it.
(I am now giggling)
T continues to wave his arms and torso about.
T: Stealing your thoughts.
Me (laughing): Seriously do not do that! If you do be prepared that I will throw things at you.
T: Steeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaling your thoughts……..
He left my room and went in to finish making his mac and cheese.
At 10 p.m.
I lay in bed chortling away when T starts telling me I can clean the kitchen up in the morning.
I chuffed at that one and told him to clean it up now.
He was not impressed but he did it.
Although I laughed even harder when I heard:
T: Well that so was not helpful.
Me: OMG you are me.
T: What do you mean?
Me:  What did you do?
T: Turned the light off instead of the fan.
Me: LOL I say that all the time.
And I do.
To myself only.
Finally we are both settled.
I am still chuckling to myself when mom mode comes to the fore.
Me: Hey did you turn the stove off?
T: Huh?
Me: Did you turn the stove off?
T: Did I turn the snow off?
Me: Stove! Did you turn the stove off?
T: Of course I did.
Still laughing I got up and went into his room.
I performed The Tube Man dance which he was not impressed about.
I got the little hand motion indicating move from my space now.
I chortled.
Gonna say there is nothing better than crying yourself to sleep.
From laughter.
I did ask T if his friends had as much fun as we did.
Did they laugh as much with their parents?
T told me he does not tell anyone about our conversations because no one would believe him.
©June 17//21
Picture via Pinterest

Cashier Mafia

The other day K was telling me about a customer that she had.
She was trying to describe him to me and I flashed on who I thought it was…..
the sealing note was that he still carries a fanny pack.
I know exactly who he is.
And he is an absolute jerk.
Entitled.
Thinks because he talks to someone once that if he throws the name around everyone will fall to his feet and do what he wants.
He went back and forth with her over some incredibly stupid things so much so that she finally had to throw out our boss boss’ name to shut him up.
He is going through express and taking his time not only in unloading his groceries but in repacking them.
As the line grows and grows behind him.
Yeah he is that guy.
I had been paged to CS to help a customer.
As I got closer I groaned internally.
I know this customer.
And I do not like serving her.
She is never nice.
She is always rude.
And yes there is a difference.
With her is her daughter.
About 12ish.
Our health order at the moment requests that only one member per household enter the store to do the shopping.
Other than in some exceptions.
Minor children that accompany their parents.
***By minor we mean those that cannot be left alone.
Adults requiring aid or with a care giver.
It is not followed but we have to do our due diligence in reminding customers as they come in.
Not everyone is able to remind people of things without it sounding like they are barking at you.
Yesterday our cart cleaner was one of those people.
He is shy and being pushed out of his comfort zone in a huge way being made to work 8 hours in the lobby.
I will say the difference from when I hired him to now is huge but it is still not his comfort.
When he talks he can sound like he is barking and all one needs to do is to remind him how to modulate his voice and give him a little script to follow.
When people are uncomfortable I try to give them a little something to follow.
“Good morning/afternoon folks. Just a reminder that public health order does request only one member per household. Have a nice day.”
Something simple like that.
I digress though.
I arrive at the CS desk and smile at her asking how I can help.
When she goes off on a litany of complaints about how he had spoken to her.
And her daughter was a minor.
Was he going to hassle customers with babies and tell them to leave the car seat outside.
On and on she ranted not even letting me get a word in edgewise.
When she finally wound down I was able to speak.
‘M’am I am sorry but we are required to remind customers as they come in.’
‘That is so ridiculous.’
Now this daughter standing next to her is looking bored like a teenager does.
I also know that she has remained in the car on many an occasion or else this woman has lied to me a lot.
The old I left my child in the car I am in a hurry one.
I said nothing though.
Once she wound right down I told her that I would let my boss know.
And off she stormed.
I turned around and K was right behind me.
Me: Ha I am leaving this one in your capable hands.
K: What was that about?
Me: She was upset with J reminding her about the health order. (leaning in so no one can hear me through my mask despite the two of us being the only two around) She is a c***.  I am sorry you know I do not use that lightly but she is never happy. Always complains. Goes through the till without a smile. I cannot stand serving her.
K: Oh that is it she was here complaining a couple of days ago. I will go talk to the boss.
I was pulling my orders and she saw me walking the floor.
Waiting to see if she is going to complain that I did not tell the boss about her complaint.
Would so love to see her face when she is informed that I did tell my boss.
And she went to the boss boss with it.
The way things work.
And that is just two of them.
Two customers now in our sights.
I will point out K’s customer to other cashiers.
K will do the same with mine.
Never mind all the customers that are on other cashiers hit list.
You laugh.
It is true though.
Your behaviour towards the cashier you are dealing with will reflect how upcoming service is.
Be an ass and let me tell you while we do not have an FBI’s Most Wanted board we all have nicknames and ways to tell who you are.
And when you are in the store.
The word flows from one to the other.
When you come through our till next time see how much different the service is between yourself and the customer before or behind you.
While you get the bare bones we bend over backwards for the next one.
And you cannot complain because we have done our job with you.
You just got hit.
It pays to be nice to your service person wherever you are.
Whether you are in a restaurant or at the gas station or grocery store.
It costs you nothing and will reap you benefits you never thought possible.
Smile-The Cashier Mafia is watching you.
ha ha ha
©June 16/21
Picture via Pinterest