Baby Boy Makes Me Laugh

Well now cannot make Word of the Day challenge work (it is acid) but I want to write.
So I decided to tell y’all a story that appeared in my Facebook memory feed. He must have been either 4 or 5.
When I read it I howled.
Today I told Tember and he figures it is ‘mom’ humor…..like dad humor but way funnier.
Once upon a time
Tember was a little boy
ever so cute
but on occasion
lies were known to fall
from sweet baby lips.
Mom (that would be me)
sat next to him
stern look upon my face
and I said to him:
“Look me in the eye and tell me
that you do not lie.”
Well
Child o’mine
I been dere
I done dat
gonna catch ya out
no matter what.
Of course
no eye contact was made
chortled I did
for correct I had been.
Suddenly
Tember shouts
“No”
zooms in
tongue out
licks my eye
while I shout
‘wth dude?????’
And this my lovelies
is the best thing ever
his response:
‘Well Mom
You told me to lick you in the eye
and say no.’
©May 25/20
Picture is my own

I’m Sorry Part Deux

For those of you who saw the poem ‘I’m Sorry‘ you know that there was an incident between Tember and I this weekend.
He lashed out at me. Made fun of my teeth. Not going to lie it hurt. Called them Bunny Teeth. When I asked why he was being like this he told me I did it all the time. Which as you know took me aback. What? He felt as though I was making fun of him in a mean way? When I asked him to explain/tell me a time that I had done this (cite your sources) I got the ‘I love you. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’
It hurt like a son of a bitch.
I cried.
I wracked my brain trying to figure out when I could have been so hurtful. When had I said something to make him feel like this?
I spoke with a friend of mine who reassured me that Tember would eventually realize what he had done. That he would apologize.
Here is the kicker folks. This happened on Friday after I had purchased the CPU for him. This was after I told him that I had a surprise for him. And than wham! Shot out of the dark.
Now I know what happened. And the poem I wrote lays it out.
My weekend.
The Ex asked to have Tember so they could build a fort together.
Spend time together.
Tember was so excited he left his Xbox at home.
His Xbox people-his Xbox!!!!!
Friday started off good.
He goes to his dad’s and things seem ok.
The glue gun broke so dad had quit making the fort.
This is what he told me.
Told him to go hang out with dad.
Was told that dad was hanging with the girlfriend.
My heart is breaking because I know what this weekend meant.
Get a link that takes me to a picture of myself with the caption ‘look at those bunny teeth.’
Yep.
Regardless of the pursuant conversation I wanted to lash out and tell him that I had purchased a new hard drive for him. That he would not be getting it. But I took a deep breath. I purchased it as a gift for Tember. Telling him and taking it away was cruel. What was to be gained? So I bit back my comment and as per above asked when I had done something like this to him. He ducked and ran.
Saturday tell him I have a surprise.
Also asked him if he was still pissed with me. Yes I said pissed. Please this child has heard so much worse come out of my mouth I am not going to be a hypocrite. He said he never was mad with me and he was sorry.
I told him he hurt me.
I admit I was still really hurt. This is not how I taught Tember to behave.
Here’s the kicker…..
 he was mad at his dad but could not take it out on him so easier to provoke a fight with mom.
Because no matter what she will always be there.
 And once that dawned on me (ashamed to admit that it took me awhile to put 2+2 together) I got it.
Sunday Tember told me he loved me and was again sorry for what had happened Friday evening.
Monday he comes home.
Finds the CPU which by the way in my infantile outbreak decided not to set up for him…….probably best thing anyways as he was able to set it all up the way he wanted to today. He flies into my room and thanks me.
Again tells me he is sorry and did not mean it about my teeth.
I had braces when I was a kid but my front teeth have since moved back to their normal position. To the point where I am embarrassed of my smile. I know that I am buck toothed. I am told over and over that I have a beautiful smile yet as soon as Tember made that comment to me all self-confidence was gone.
I am still not really over it.
I am known to harp and harp and harp on the same subject. I know this. So tonight I needed to say one thing and that would be it.
I told Tember I needed to get this out. Once it was I would never bring it up again. He agreed.
His behaviour was that of a bully. He found something that he knew would hurt me and used it intentionally. This is not how I have taught him. He hurt me.
Forgiveness is an incredible thing.
I figure some are going to say that as the adult I should blow it off. I am not built that way. And he pinpointed the one main thing about me that causes me to be self-conscious.
I needed for him to realize how powerful words are. Which is why I may have gone for a couple of days making him think about how he made me feel. I am hopeful that he is going to remember this. I am hopeful that I am going to remember this.
Out of this experience we learned:
I can think before I speak.
I still am a wee bit childish making my own child suffer for hurting me. (Oh I know there are people reaching for their phones but so what……he learns)
Tember realized why it hurt me.
He took my words about being a bully and hopefully has taken them to heart.
I am his safety net. The one constant in his life that never changes. I might drink a little much. I might swear a lot. I am a proponent of 4/20 lol and enjoy it.
But…..
Not a day goes by that I do not tell Tember and show him that I love him.
Not a day goes by that we do not laugh.
Not a day goes by that even subtly a lesson is learned. And not all lessons are learned by Tember. I have learned my fair share as well.
I am not a conventional mom.
I share a little too much.
Am such an embarrassment because I am a little too open about sex with him.
I am his cheerleader.
I believe that he can do absolutely anything he wants to do.
I adore him and tell him this on a daily basis.
He is my so(u)n (yeah silly I know)…..
my moon…..
my stars……
he is my everything.
©May 19/20
Picture is of us

Let’s Get The Party Started

I awoke yesterday morning with one thought…..what the hell was I thinking asking to work 5 hours on Thursday? I mean seriously I cannot. Plan was go into work and see if there was any possibility of someone taking my 5 hour shift. I would work it if I could not but fingers were crossed…….
I spoke with my supervisor to make sure she would be ok with my giving the shift away. She was. I contacted one co-worker who did not get back to my until after 3 so I moved on to the next one. A wonderful young lady. Bubbly. Sweet. She had been sick in the early part of the work and had lost both of her shifts. With fingers and toes crossed I called her. And…….I told her I loved her over and over and over when she told me that she would take the shift. So……as of yesterday at 6 p.m. I began holidays.
There was a debate…..internally…..should I shop or go home and come back tomorrow? Decision home I went and shop today.
Woke up at 5:15 a.m. when the alarm I forgot to shut off went off. Rolled over and went back to sleep until 7. As I drank my coffee I again vacillated……shop now or……no so I threw on a pair of jeans and hoodie and was out of the house by 9.
Will admit travelling the arrows caused some dizziness as I tried to figure out what I needed and where it is. Still forgot to get my olive oil. And frozen chicken drumsticks. I think I may have done my shop a little backwards but I did my best to stay on the straight and arrow path. (LMAO I could not resist) Got to the till began to unload and realized……I forgot the vitamins. Finished unloading raced to the vitamin aisle and back.
I wanted to thank my co-worker once more so I bought her a 2 pack Jumbo Reese Pieces Peanut Butter Cups with Reese’s Pieces Pieces in the peanut butter. To die for. She was on break when I was leaving  so I had to back track with my cart to leave where someone could keep eye on it and I hunted her down . Thanked her once more and fled the scene. I wanted to get home.
I am a freak. I openly and honestly admit this. I take it as a challenge to fit as much as I can into my bags. In part because I really do not want to make that many trips to and from the car to apartment. Other is…..I just really enjoy doing it. It calms something in my mind. Weird I know. And than when I get home I do it all over again. And make it all fit. Again soothing to me.
I am now ensconced on the couch. No plans to do anything else today other than maybe nap. We are going to have a food day.
Lunch: Creamy Chicken Alfredo (Frozen)
Snack: Cheese Garlic Bread
             Vegetable Spring Rolls
Supper: Shrimp & Steak
              Corn on the Cob
              Salad
Let the holidays begin.
Reading.
Writing.
Loving myself……
this is what happiness is made of.
May 14/20
All pictures are mine 🙂

Countdown……37 Hours to Go

I am like a little kid.
Christmas.
Oh yeah……I cannot wait to wake Tember up and watch him open gifts.
I love seeing him surprised.
It makes me happier to give than to receive.
And I mean that.
My wants and needs are simple:
Child happy.
Ex and I on good terms.
Writing spooling out of me.
Work going well.
Until it comes to that time……holidays.
If you have been with me for awhile you know what holidays mean to me.
If you haven’t well I will explain as best I can.
It took me a long time.
A very long time…..
but I finally came to realize this…..I will be damned if I am going to work my butt off to get paid to stay at home and do more work.
No way.
Uh huh.
My vacation time is just that……vacation from life.
From the day to day normality.
It is time to say….I am going to write and read. I am going to nap in the afternoon. I am going to stay up until 1 a.m. watching t.v. In bed. If I want to stay in bed until noon I can do that.
Why?
Because I have earned it.
I deserve to do what I want to do…..not what is expected.
Tember knows that I am on holidays but he is beginning to want to spend what time he gets with dad with dad. I mentioned what day I was off this week and how he was still going to dad’s and he was all ‘mom I would not even want to stay home with you….It is dad’s week.’
So all guilt gone out the window.
My time off is to rejuvenate.
To spend time on me and the things that I enjoy doing.
Temps are suppose to warm up.
I have several new books downloaded to my Kindle.
I am counting down…..
counting the hours……
until for 10 days I can shut off work/responsible Jay and be Jay doing what she wants to do…..when she wants to do it……because she is on holidays!!!!!!
I apologize for talking about myself in the 3rd person but it works. 🙂
Picture is my own.

New Definition of Ages

I have finally entered adulthood. You laugh but truth is……I do not think that we have the right of it regarding age.
I am beginning to believe this:
0-20 we are children. Inclined to doing what we want. Not really grasping the concept of repercussions. Finding ourselves. Children.
20-40/45 we are teenagers. Rash. Looking for our place in the world. Experimenting. Spreading our wings and living our lives but still with a foothold in the familial home.
45+ we are adults. Responsible. Grouchy. Rolling our eyes at the fallacy of youth. Paying our bills on time. Comfortable within ourselves. Knowing what it is that we want. Not willing to settle for less. Accepting. Our sense of selves solidifies.
I had a special delivery today.
wp-1588873136204528124285201777372.jpg
My very first vacuum.
Not like my first first but the first that I have purchased for myself.
Much like the non-stick Good Cook pan I purchased recently.
I ordered the vacuum a Bissell off of Amazon on Sunday. It shipped Monday. Received……today.
I put it together and took it for a test spin. OMG but I am in love. It sucks so well. I vacuumed yesterday and yet dirt……
Never use to make my bed.
Decided that I needed to do so.
Every day…..even if I did not feel like doing it….I did.
I am proud to say that I now make my bed daily.
Sometimes it is not immediately but it gets made.
Mom I know you are smiling at this.
I am more serene.
More okay with things.
I find that I am looking at things differently.
I find that I am most grateful. For my job. For my son. For my ability to care for both of us.
I am happy. Like all the time.
That in and of its self is something I am still getting use to.
No longer do I see only the negative. No longer do I use negative language. I realize I once was a miserable woman. Well teenager…..which makes sense no? Angst and all? And zits. Who still has zits at 40? A teenager that is who.
I am happy.
Which I believe is what we all want adulthood to be.
We want to be content with the lives that we are living.
With the choices that we are making.
Before I had this epiphany I thought that there was something wrong with me.
That it had taken me so long to catch up with my peers and adulthood.
Than this thought came to me and well…….it totally changed how I viewed things.
Based upon my new definition of age I am only 22…..about to be 23……how about you?
48 never looked so good now that I understand the true aging system.
May 7/20
Picture is my own

Stuffies……

These are my stuffies. They have been gifted to me by Tember. Gus is the green alien. Apparently he squeaks I love you when squeezed the right way. I use him to throw at the cats when they are being annoying and scratching closet door because……..it is the middle of the night and why would mom want to sleep?

The moose is name Sam. I purchased him for Tember and he was regifted to me. All good. He is great cuddler.

As for big bear I have yet to rename him but he is mine now. Tember used him to try and scare me. It worked. And I got another snuggle buddy.

Last week was my full week with Tember. As always our week was filled with a lot of silliness and laughter. I came home from work on Friday……he has been cleaning the closet and decided that he was going to try to scare me……so he moved big bear into my room and put a book in his lap. I come home all innocent like and walk into my bedroom to scream because well big bear on the bed reading a book……he was not there when I left for work.

Tember thought this was hilarious.

However revenge would be mine.

Mondays I am now working 2-10:30 so regardless of my week or his dad’s Tember goes to his dad’s place.

I get home just after 10 on Monday and Tember is laying in wait for me.

‘Mom……my plan to scare you backfired on me.’

‘Why?’

‘Well when I came down the stairs to go into my room and I saw big bear I screamed and jumped.’

I laughed. Long and hard. Ha ha revenge is mine.

What I am not going to tell him….Big Bear (the name is growing on me) scares the hell out of me every day.

One might move him out of the way but nah……at least I know he will kick start my heart even as a heart attack happens.

May 6/20

Picture is my own (stating the obvious is a fault)

 

 

 

 

Burial of Truth (When Misinformation Reigns)

***Do not read if you are easily offended. At all. I am going to speak my mind and piss a whole hell of a lot of people off……so if you are one of those people please give this post a pass.***

Ya know I do my best. I smile. I laugh. I reassure. But damn when I hear things coming out of people’s mouths I gotta wonder……when did the lack of common sense…..when did the selfishness of people become so prevalent?

Covid-19.

This is not a government conspiracy. This is not a virus we can take lightly. And by god it is not a biochemical weapon. Get your heads out of your ass. The number of people who have died…..regardless of what conspiracy theory you follow…..there is no disputing the deaths. Oh yes I know you are going to argue that all deaths are being classified as Covid-19. I have read the same shit as you. But see…….I can think for myself. And I read. Not one damn news article…..not one damn news segment…..there is no agreement….there is disinformation.

This is a virus that seems to be mutating at a fast pace. Do I know this for fact? Not at all. However and I cannot stress this enough….I do read. And not just one side of the story but all of them. I am intelligent. I know one side is not the only side. There are so many sides you have to read and use your bloody brain. That is why we have one.  Well most of us do anyways.

I am going to say this outright……if you truly believe that shooting up disinfectants is the way to go honey I ain’t gonna stop you. A three year old knows to stay away from that shit. OMG please…….how many brain cells are you short of to believe this is a good idea? I suppose on the other hand it is natural selection at its finest.

Also….the government is not out to ruin the economy. In what world do you think that Provincial (tells you I am Canadian) or States governing bodies went:

Best thing ever. Let’s shut down the entire economy. Let’s destroy our Province/State with ridiculousness. Look this is how we get to steal away everyone’s rights and livelihood. Oh and better yet…….fill in the blank.

I am considered a front liner. Cool. I am not. I am doing my job. I am not a nurse. I am not a doctor. I am serving multiple people who are choosing to put my life and the lives of others at risk. I am not a hero. I am a cashier.

The heroes are those who are doing their damndest to control this disease. The ones who are putting their lives at risk.

Until everyone realizes that we truly are in a fight for our lives this virus will not be eradicated.

Until a vaccine is discovered/created we are all at risk.

Anyone who believes otherwise……well I got a burial plot or two I can sell you.

May 1/20

Picture is my own