Scared Yet?

T and me we have this thing……previous posts have been written about this thing…..but tonight was the first time (LOL) that I realized it.
 
In the bathroom doing my thing. I hear nothing. I open the door and go to walk out and T is standing there. In his pickle costume 
 
Oh yeah, none of y’all know about the Pickle costume. For some bizarre reason T is infatuated with pickles. But not any type of pickle, his pickle. (LMAO I realize how that sounds.)
He actually has a book started called ‘The Life of Pickle. (I will transcribe and post at later date.) For Halloween he wanted to be a pickle and I actually found (well not me but I had mentioned to a co-worker who messaged me on a Saturday to tell me she had found a Pickle costume at  Wal-mart.) I ran to Wal-mart and found the costume. You should have seen the expression on his face when I came home and surprised him with it. (As an aside there were three little sayings on this costume…..I did not realize….1) I am kinda a big Dill  2) Sweet Pickle and  3) Tickle my Pickle. Let me tell you #3 was cut off the costume.) 
 
I realize you are going what does this have to do with your thing? What is your thing?
 
We love to scare one another. And we do it well.
 
When I came out of the bathroom tonight I screamed bloody murder. T has also scared the hell out of me by popping up behind me wrapped in his blanket no head while I was looking in the fridge. My revenge was to tell him that there was no one in the storage room unless the dude I had tied up under my bed had escaped. That horrified him.
 
So we have had a two day scare period. 
 
Last night I am in T’s room in the dark hanging up his laundry. He had gone into the living room for something. Had no idea that I was in his room. As he walked in I said something to him about hanging his clothes up. He shrieked because I scared him. I was bent over laughing.
 
Second time I think he almost threw the pop at me he had in his hand.
 
Let us move to me……coming out of the bathroom…..and seeing the pickle…….I screamed…..thank goodness upstairs neighbors are visiting family otherwise I am sure the RCMP would have been called.
 
After I screamed I began laughing. (I love being scared) and T’s response was ‘Ha I am getting you back for yesterday.’
 
I scare a lot of people. I sorta kinda just suddenly appear where you never thought that I would be. I have caused co-workers to jump. I am silent. I am ninja like. My mom has compared me to a wraith. T has inherited that behaviour. I am sure that the next few years are going to be fun. And given that he will soon be a teenager sleeping a hundred hours a day, I will find ample opportunity to scare the hell out of him. As he will to me.
 
And we will laugh and laugh and giggle after the screaming stops. 
 
***No children or mothers were hurt during this scaring episode.***
Advertisements

I Dare You!

This morning started off great. T and me were getting along. I had a great poem for Word of the Day Challenge. Granted it was a poem that I wrote in December but I was able to rework it to include today’s word instigate.  T was happy but around the corner lurked sloth and surly boy. Oh man was the drive to school fun. 
Had asked him to feed the cats. Came back from starting car and found cat food all over the floor. Triggered the omg are you serious reaction. T could not fathom why I was so irate. His response ‘just leave it mom the cats will eat it.’ Seriously child! I cleaned the apartment yesterday I am not leaving cat food all over the floor.
Next came the sweater fiasco. Ten minutes it took sloth boy ten minutes to locate and shove said sweater into his backpack. When I told him for what felt like the hundredth time to get moving he yells at me ‘I am doing my best! Have you never heard of doing one’s best?’
T stomps up the stairs muttering and me I state how I am the world’s worst mother ever. Of course I was challenged and told that never was I mean. Oh that tune was about to change and quickly.
As we are driving through the Co-op parking lot I thanked T for listening to me and not attempting to take his Xbox with him. Well now, I should have said nothing because what came next is so dramatic. T begins to cry. (Well fake cry) I begin to explain again about consequences for his actions. His attitude needs to change and fast. Back and forth we go until we get to the point where I am now a very mean mom. How could I do this to him? Why could he not just be happy? Why did I have to ruin his life? And again why could he not be allowed to be happy??
When I reminded him there was no gaming either with friends well I might as well have told him….whatever I said would have had no larger impact than him finding out he is not going to be allowed on-line to play games with his friends this weekend. 
So attitude began to pour out of him and I said to T that if this kept up I was going to take the Xbox away and there would be no gaming with his friends for a whole month. 
‘I dare you’ T screams at me.
‘You dare me? Keep this shit up kid and you will see what I dare to do.’
‘Well than there is no godda-darn way I am going to spend the month with you. I am going to go and stay at dad’s.’
I laughed. I realize not the best response but seriously? 
‘Okay dude you ask your dad if you can stay with him for a month because mom is so mean that she took my Xbox away for a month. Ask him and let me know what he says please.’
Oh if looks could kill. 
I pull up to the school and look at T.
‘Have a good day buddy.’
‘I am not getting out of the car.’
‘Well you kind of have to, I need to get to work.’
‘i am not getting out of the car.’
‘Get out of the car now!’
Thankfully he listened. I was trying to figure out how I was going to get him out of the car. It wasn’t like I could pull him out. He is a solid kid.  He slammed the door shut. Slammed and did not look back or wave to me as he walked into the school.
When I got to work I was telling my supervisor about it and I had tears because I was laughing so hard. Than she pointed out to me what could he do because he spends the nights here during the week he is at his dad’s. Which sent me into another burst of laughter.
Fast forward to when T gets dropped off at 9:30. He comes in and is all cheerful and telling me how he is legally blind. I did not get it. I still don’t. It has something to do with Youtube. 
I got the full rundown of the school day. His fort had been broken. He had a math test he is positive he failed. He has to be finished his book by Friday. I asked where the homework was and he grins telling me they did no ‘paper’ work while he was home sick.
Finally he winds down and is wandering around the kitchen. Being the mean mom that I am I had to ask if T had asked his dad if he could stay there for a month. Obvious answer being no. He straightens up looks over at me and says: ‘Mom I am sorry for this morning. I know that it is late but I am sorry.’
I thanked him and told him that I really appreciated him saying that.
T had complained that there was nothing to do at his dad’s without the Xbox. I told him he could spend time with his dad. Well dad is always in shop. Than go out there!!!! And he did. He spent the evening in the shop with his day. Helped him with some work. 
I am hoping that we will go forward and sloth and surly boy will remain totally out of the picture. I am not deluded though, I know that they will return. As I am sitting here typing all of a sudden T starts yelling: ‘Mom……mom……mom…..moooooooooom’
‘What?’
‘I love you.’
There is nothing left to say. 
 
January 23/19

Surly Boy vs. Happy Boy who will win?

I swear there is no child out there who is slower than mine. I have told him many a time that he is slower than molasses in January. Molasses moves slow in that cold winter month. T, he moves at a sloth pace. I am constantly nagging in the morning.
‘T c’mon time to pack up and brush teeth.’
‘T I am going out to start car. Please pack up and brush teeth.’
‘Mom stop yelling at me.’
‘I am not yelling I need you to move. You are going to be late.’
‘Pshaw mom late is good.’
I am now at my wit’s end. I am approximately 2 seconds from screaming and stomping my feet.
Finally he is ready. 
Out we go.
Let me go back and explain some things. My ex and me share custody of T. One week I have him 24/7. Next week his dad has him. Not 24/7 because he works nights. T comes and sleeps here. 
Helps out the ex and as I do not have an afternoon sitter, he takes T for a couple extra hours. Works out to benefit us both. 
Well last week January 6th to January 14th a.m. was my week with T. We had an amazing week. No fights. Got up great. Showered when I asked him to. Did his chores. Now fast forward to the next week January 14th p.m. to January 20th at 4 p.m. when T is dropped off for my week. From Monday January 14th until Friday January 18th I do not know who the child was living in my house.
He was grouchy. He bitched at me. He screamed at me. I was so done.
Friday morning as we are on the way to school I had had enough with the bickering and the snarky attitude.
‘Dude when you come home on Sunday, I want the good kid T from my week last time. I do not want surly T who was here all week long.’
He looks at me and grins.
‘No I cannot handle this. Why are you such a dick?’
For those of you who think I am being harsh, you have not had the privilege of meeting my child. He is a smart ass. He is mouthy. He is always right. He tells me that he cannot wake on his own it is just too hard. Never mind that if I do not get him up at his designated time I pay for that as well.
‘Because mom, I should be with my dad. At his place. This is his week.’
‘I know buddy, but I am helping your dad out. He works nights there is not much we can do.’
‘But it is dad’s week. I should be sleeping there.’
‘Babe I am helping your dad out. Much as he helps me out after school on my week. Why should your dad pay a sitter when I can do it? You come and you sleep. You snarl and argue with me. I know that this is not ideal but for now, this is how it goes.’
T was silent the rest of the way to school. When we got there he hopped out grabbed his bag and smiled at me.
‘I love you mom. See you Sunday.’
‘I love you too baby.’
As he closed the car door he blew me a kiss. Something he has stopped doing. Too cool for that. I caught my kiss and touched my cheek before blowing a kiss out to him.
I get it. T spends a lot of time with me. With his dad, who works nights, he gets a few hours after school from Monday to Thursday and than OMG he is back at mom’s. Mom nags. Dad does not. Friday and Saturday he is with dad. T feels, believes that he should be at dad’s for the whole week. I keep explaining to him about the money factor. He kinda gets it.
Reality is…….
for T there is one week with mom. One week with dad. When with mom she is always there. When with dad (redundant) he works nights and mom is there again. And again.
And I pick. I bug. I make him talk to me.
Anyways let us go back to my telling T that surly boy had to go and cheerful dude needed to rear his cute little head.
‘Maybe mom.’
‘No no maybe…….I want cheerful kid…..not miserable jerk.
T grins at me. I grin at him.
Who will show up tomorrow? Your guess is as good as mine.

Bombs Away

Despite the fact that my title is a little light hearted what occurred was not. All I can say is I am thankful that T was a little shit this morning and we were running behind schedule.

As we sat in the drive-thru at Tim’s my phone started to ring. At first I was confused and then realized it was my ringtone going off. Grabbed my phone saw it was from the school division and answered. I will admit to some confusion because it was not 9 yet….they should not have been calling me. Also it was coming from the school division rather than the school.

I answered. Yes I know that it is illegal but I was in a drive thru. With the phone to my ear listening. And my heart stopped.

We live in a safe city. Not that there is not crime there is but we are Canadian. We do not worry about bombs or school shootings. Our city still has a small town feel to it. I do believe our high school was shut down once last year due to a ‘gun’ being seen/talked about in school. Nothing more.

So when I answered the phone to an automated message that T’s school had received a bomb threat I listened. Bomb was to be detonated at noon. RCMP were on site. A search was on. I hung up and burst into tears.

Yes, T was sitting right next to me. I am sure he was delighted that the morning was going to be spent at home. Given that he had been begging to stay home with me. Today is my day off.

I live in a bubble. Well not a bubble, given that I am aware of world issues, I am not stupid enough to think that crime does not happen here, but we watch the news from the states and think, ‘not here, not at my child’s school.’ Well it happened at my child’s school and my heart stopped. I would have been freaking right out had I already dropped T off at school and received the message when I got home.

I received no less than 5 phone calls and 5 emails updating me on the situation. And they even numbered them. The school moved the kids to a safe location. The staff and bus drivers were willing to wait with the students no matter how long it took. By message 4 they indicated where the kids were and parents could come and pick them up. Children would have to be signed out.

A suspect had been identified. It turned out to be a student hoax. The thought had crossed my mind that maybe some kid had a test but didn’t want to take…..so they called in a bomb threat.

T did not go to school even after the all clear was sounded. He told me he was scared. How could they be sure it was a hoax? What if there were other people involved? He did not want to blow up. Was he playing on my emotions? I don’t know. But I do know that I was not going to stress him out by making him go to school.

I can not even begin to imagine what parents whose children are involved in school shootings go through. My heart stopped. T is my world. My sun. My moon. My stars. And this when he was sitting right next to me. Reality is beginning to rise it’s head, no longer is the city I live in safe.

I have been weepy today. I hate sometimes that my imagination is so good as it is……

I can imagine anything. In vivid detail. To my detriment….I can make myself cry with what I imagine. What if……

I am glad that it was determined to be a student hoax.

I am glad that I had T home with me.

I am scared of what will come.

This is only the beginning……

Picture via: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stealth_aircraft

 

Update December 2018

T has gone for a sleepover at his best bud’s place. I decided that I was going to tackle his room. I mean c’mon the smell in that room was a palpabile. Stand at the doorway and you are choking. Yes this is my fault as I allowed it to get this far. But today was ‘D’ Day. I have been warning T that if he did not do something about that room I was going to. So I did. Have to say am right impressed with myself. 48 minutes to clean it, strip the bed, vacuum and voila. Spray a little Febreze and well I can enjoy the illusion for one day that it will not stink of sweaty feet, grungy hair, garbage not strewn all over the floor. Shhhhhhhhhh allow me this please. Just for a moment. 
 
I started a list of things that I found in T’s room while I was cleaning it.
 
1 roll of toilet paper tied up with a yellow rubber band.
2 1/2 full 2lt Pepsi bottles in his bed.
2 pairs (Mr. I have No Socks) of socks and several loose ones. After doing laundry it has been determined that he has approximately 8 pairs of socks. Like seriously?!?
My camera…..in the basket with all his cars. Cause…….movies mom movies.
1/2 of the cutlery I have been looking for
1/3 of the cups/mugs
and last but not least (I am a bit perturbed by this)
a plastic bag containing:
1 sock. 1 only.
Charger Cord
Magnetic Mirror that mechanics use
Tiny screw driver
 
I have to admit that in the grand scheme of things I have been pretty lucky. Yes T is a bit of a pig in a sty. He is getting there though. The other day he brought his cereal bowl out to the kitchen sink and looking over at me says ‘mom I must be growing.’ I am a little confused (he has the same bad habit that I do…..starting up a conversation on a different conversation that may have been 3 days ago but you know we are a little different T and me.)  ‘Meaning?’ ‘Well I brought my dish out of my room and put it into the sink.’ Oh. So you do something I have been nagging you to do for well forever….but now I am suppose to give you kudos for the one time that you brought out that bowl. Dude, I found half my cutlery drawer in your room. Why do you need that much cutlery? Is this a thing that I need to be concerned with? Is that the new initiation? How much cutlery can you hoard before your mom will brave your room? 
 
The beginning of this week was hard on both  of us. Getting use to the rules that differ from mom to dad’s place. Having to once more explain why he has to be off Fortnight at 9 p.m. Again it has gotten better as the week has progressed. Beginning of the week arguments when suddenly…..Wednesday was it? Yes it was. I was in a bad mood in the morning. And T began off with the lip. I was done. LOL I know how many times have you heard me or any parent say that and mean it? Yes there will be times but not when you are 10. We fought. On the way to school he is sitting arms crossed hostile to the end. We are going through the 20 km zone when I hear this pop. I look over at T and asked if he had just farted. Nothing. Than pop pop pop. And he starts to grin. Begins flapping his hands towards me. Where is a gas mask when you need one? I pulled up to the drop off zone (and let me tell you learning how to use the pick up/drop off lane plus the round about has not been easy) he grabs his bag hops out of the car, looks at me and tells me he loves me than slams the car door shut. Really? I was choking, gagging but this may have been the breaking point. 
 
When I told him it was 9 p.m. I expected a fight. No. He told his friend that he had to get off. He is talking to me on the ride home from the Ex’s. Oh yeah neglected to mention that part. I have no babysitter for T after school so I am relying on the Ex to help me out. Now I can return the favor and T will be spending the night here during his dad’s week. We have laughed a lot. Had to explain to T about what tenacious meant. Also how we have to correct the slightest deviation from known facts. Being literal I believe others call it. And than came the weekend. 
 
Friday night we get home. T does what he has to do and goes into his room. Xbox, Fortnight, ya know kid stuff.  I am sitting on the couch t.v. on in the background as I go through my emails. (Tonight is different. Tonight I am listening to my music on shuffle dancing in my seat and writing.) Suddenly I hear T tell his buddy that he is going to go. He wanted to come and hang out with me. Wait? What? I am sorry but who are you and what have you done with my son? I worry about him. Some might say I am overindulgent with him. Permissive. I am working on that. He has not fussed once about the bedtime hours. He has been doing his chores pretty regularly. I mean yes as we drive home I am asking him what he has to do but he is doing them. 
 
My child is so much like me that I hurt for him. He feels things differently. Hoards those thoughts and feelings until something sets it off and suddenly I am the bad guy. I now understand how my mom must of felt when I would go off on her in anger. I am bewildered. Blink rather rapidly as my brain fast forwards to catch up to what he is screaming at me. It is never what he is screaming it is what I have to dig for. Try as I might to not lose my shit I usually do. There are words. There are tears. Than the real talk begins.
 
Last night was not one of the screaming nights. No last night T made me feel short because he can take stuff off the top of the fridge without standing on tip toes. Also on tiptoe is able to reach where the bandaids are. We laughed. Sometimes 10 year old wisdom is so much better than the advice anyone else can give me. He is pretty astute. We had an amazing evening. T made paper airplanes, a ton of them while we chatted and I read emails. Blogs that I follow. It was nice. 
 
Today he is off for sleepover. I cleaned house. And I have written a chatty blog probably terrifying those who only know me through my poetry. Now I am not sure. The night is mine. The only night that is mine lol I will let it play out as it pleases. 
 
 

Middle School Years Ahoy!

Recently I received an email indicating that the Middle School had receieved T’s registration but there was confusion over the address. The house is right on the division line for two districts. I had to go in and show them proof that we paid to their district with the property tax bill.
Actually back right up a second, that email I received was not the first one. The first one was that they had T down on their registration but had not received his paper work as of yet. Yeah me, nearly not registering T for school next year. Although I am sure that he would have thought that was the best thing ever. When T showed up that evening I said okay, here is the paperwork, please take it in and hand it in. And he says to me, no word of a lie, oh yeah mom I kept meaning to tell you that I needed that. So tell me why didn’t you? Well because I forgot.
Alright registration in. Check. Next email is that there is some confusion over where the School tax was being paid. I had to go in and prove that we paid the property tax to the right school division. And yes, I said we because my name is still on the mortgage and the land title. I got the property tax bill from the Ex and stopped in on Friday so they could make a copy of it.
First (yes I know that I am all over and backtracking imagine if you actually were having this conversation with me; confused? Most likely 😄) So when you go up to the school there is a round-about. I hate round-abouts and they scare the hell out of me. But I conquered it. Mind you there was no one else around. Than I get to the school and I am mildly panicking over where I am going to park when I see Visitor Parking. Woh-hoo. Jay is having a good day. I gather up the Property Tax bill and walk into the school.
I am stopping here on my way to work, which means I am wearing my uniform. No doubt where I work. I walk into the office and introduce myself. The Vice Principal was right there to meet me. Oh dear lord what am I going to do? She is asking me questions about T. And me, like the loving mother that I am, I blanked. Right out blanked. No knowledge of T was crossing my  mind. And when I spoke it seemed like I was stuttering.
My son is brilliant. He is funny. He is smart. He tests my patience. He likes to write. He likes video games. He can be a little, okay really, a lot bossy. He takes after me in that regard. He builds vehicles with his lego. He farms on Farming Simulator. He builds ocassionally on Minecraft although I think he is outgrowing that. Now he has Call of Duty. And he figures them out.
He is also a little mouthy. ‘A little, I am going to push mom until she snaps and tellls me that when the office asks why I am late that I am to tell them that I had thrown a hissy fit.’ T was horrified and told me that was not allowed. I laughed and told him that if the school called me that is what I was going to tell them too. Again, not allowed, ha, watch me.
Anyhow, let me get back on track here. I stop in at the school and go to the office. I hand the Property Tax bill over to the Secretary and than boom! The Vice Principal right there to meet me. Shaking my hand. And than asking me about T. And I stalled. I was standing there wracking my brain on how to describe my son.
I stammered and stuttered and did the best I could. Where I am effusive with anyone else, singing T’s praises, I could not think of a thing to tell her. I explained a little about the situation with the Ex and me. I told her Tember could be sensitive. He is going to hate me. I explained how he sometimes felt that he could not go to the teachers if he saw something wrong going on because nothing seemed to be done. I told how he wrote his stories The Life of Pickel. He is still waiting for me to transcribe onto here. That he built vehicles with lego. Had worked with his dad in the shop.
We chatted a few moments more. I gave the secretary the name of two of the boys T had said were going to be going there as well. And than I made my escape.
I love the fact that the Vice Principal knew who I was. I love the fact that they are a hands on working with the students and knowing who each and every child is. I am in awe of the way they are now teaching. Find out how the child learns and using that. I know that T is going to thrive in this environment. Yes he is moving into a new phase. And to be honest not all that sure that I am ready for this.
But I will take a deep breath, and practice my breathing. We will get through this. ☺☺
Picture via: Photo by Feliphe Schiarolli on Unsplash

He Lies

So we had another set to this morning. Oh it was a doozy of all doozies. T actually tired to hit me. Turns out that I can still man handle T and was able to wrap him in a bear hug. Angry angry words were spoken by both myself and the devil spawn of my loins.

The Ex text me this afternoon and asked me what time I wanted devil spawn home on Saturday afternoon. And I said I did not. I wanted to have a me weekend. Apparently when T got home the Ex wanted to know why I did not want him home early. So T told him we had a fight. That he had tried to hit me. And did so because I had tried to break his phone.

Fast forward to T getting home this evening. He comes in and is all I have nothing to drink. I wanna watch t.v. And so on and so forth. I am sitting here, eyebrow cocked looking at him thinking to myself, are you fucking serious? After the way you acted this morning, you are pulling more attitude on me? So guess who decided to be obstinate? Guess who decided that she was going to enter the lions den and goad said lions?

T is whimpering and whining away at me about wanting to watch t.v. and how all he wanted was a good evening. How could I ruin this evening for him? And this was the best one, when was I going into my room so he could have the t.v. I asked him if he thought that he really should have the t.v. to himself. He said well why not? Hmmmmmm I wonder, could it have been your attitude this morning? Could it be that you are still acting like you were a part of the immaculate conception and all should bow down to you? Than I go to the fun part.

I asked him if he told his dad about what had happened this morning? He said yeah. Okay, what did you tell him? Did you tell him that you tried to hit me? Yes, but I told him that you had tried to break my phone. Okay, let me get this straight, you told your dad that you tried to hit me but it was in response to my trying to break your phone? (I slammed it down on the counter in a fit of anger) Yep. So tell me what did your dad say? He said I was never suppose to try and hit you but you are not suppose to slam my phone down either.

I looked at him. He looked at me. I picked up my phone. And asked if I were to text the Ex right now and ask him if he said that I was not to slam the phone down he was going to say that that was true? T starts to hedge about how dad always forgets things remember? So caught him in a lie. Than I asked why he had brought this up with his dad, because I had not.

Deer in the headlights. Gotta say score for parents. Even if we did not discuss this, T got owned.

As I write this, he is shrieking at me. His friend wanted him to play on the Xbox. I said no. He than messages his friend that he is unable to because ‘my mom won’t let me.’ ‘Because you disrespected me!’ ‘He does not need to know that mom.’

‘That is okay buddy because I am sharing it on my blog.’

He is right steamed at me as of this post. Yelled at me that I was no longer allowed to blog about him. I could not share with all those strangers who are going to make fun of him. I could not tell my friends. Why did I want to make him the laughingstock of the world?

Now right there, that made me laugh so hard I cried. As if the world is interested in our little lives. And as for me sharing? Hell I share shit that makes me look like the Guardian of Hell, so putting him out there as the devil’s spawn (and I am not even capitalizing it) is minuscule.

I realize my limitations. I know that there are going to be people horrified that I am blogging about how T and I fought. That I am sharing about how he treats me and how I respond. But you know what, there are moms and dads out there, who think that they are losing their minds because everyone else around them are perfect parents. That they alone have the child(ren) from hell.

Honey you are so not alone. Those who do sit out there and point their fingers at you they are not presenting a real face to the world. Children no matter how sweet they may appear, will show some assholery at some point and time in their lives. And if they truly are the angelic persons that their parents have painted them to be, than the hell spawn will pollute their lines during their tenure as parents.

***No children were harmed during the writing of this post. ***