And you’re the Adult?

The other day walking home from school Tember pulled a crab apple type looking apple from a tree. 
He looked at me and asked if he could eat it.
Aghast I said no.
He wanted to know why not?
 
Me: Tember do you pick things up off the ground and eat them?
Tember: Yep
Me: What? (Head swivels to stare at him)
Tember: I pick up poop. And oh once it was a dead rat. That one was pretty tasty.
Me: Okay I am going to admit that was a stupid question.
 
©Sept. 12/20
Picture is mine

Hey! I’m not a Cat…..

I am the meanest mom on the face of the planet today.
Battle of wills at its finest.
We shall see who is the most stubborn.
Me?
Or the being I birthed 12 years ago?
Right now at 8:08 a.m. Tember is sitting in the bathroom on the toilet.
Door closed.
He is pouting.
I am writing.
Tember and I fight about shower time all the damn time.
I can tell him he stinks and he smells his pits.
Not too bad mom.
I can tell him his hair is greasy and he smiles.
Stays in place better mom.
Yesterday he was cold and wanted to turn the heat on but:
Well mom then I have to close the window and it will stink in here.
One can only assume that somewhere it all makes sense.
Back to today.
Another Tember issue has been bed time.
He is milking that one with holidays and I told him last night that enough was enough.
He groused and groaned.
I warned him that he would be getting up at 8 a.m. no arguments.
I even let him go until 8:02.
I went in.
Armed with the cat spray bottle.
There was much yelping.
Spraying.
Yelping.
Spraying.
Finally he went into the bathroom.
Where I began the story.
A battle of wills is in process this morning.
Tember does not want to shower
I want him to shower.
He did not want to get up.
I wanted him to get up.
Hence the spray bottle.
It worked.
Furious as he was.
He sat in the bathroom pouting before coming out with this logic:
Mom there is no point in showering today. I want to shower tomorrow. Otherwise I am just going to stink tomorrow. 
It continued along in this ranting vein until:
Well no one is going to know you stink. And it is not as if you are going to be running around all day today.
I will walk up to them and rub my pits all over them.
I imagine my huge burst of laughter did nothing to alleviate the rage he was feeling towards me at that moment.
Well that is your choice buddy. But hey I have another idea……gasp……you could shower not only today but tomorrow too!
This was apparently the most ridiculous thing I have ever uttered. (Aside from the time I told him to straddle the toilet and aim downwards first thing in the morning.)  Worst Advice Ever!
Finally enough was enough and I had to pull out the big guns.
No Shower. No Gaming.
I am not using this as my be all end all choice of persuasion.
It is my last choice option.
And I have had to use twice this week.
Tember has left the bathroom for his room.
Still annoyed.
I went in armed with the water bottle.
He felt under attack.
I mocked.
He tried so hard not to let me see him smiling.
He still is having some issue with the showering edict.
Still refusing to take one.
Still no game time.
And I leave you with this:
Well you learn quickly. Better than the others.
Mom that does not make me feel better. They are cats.
Have a magnificent Monday loves.
©Sept. 8/20
Picture is my own