My Titan

Shadows
creep
crawl
infest the corners
dancing under the sheets
pulling on my toes
nibbling on my finger tips.
Monster under the bed
hear him roar
distant rumble
build up of thunder
rolling across the midnight sky
roiling clouds
covered by darkness
he lurks
he hunts
he will come for you.
Creep creep
hear the floor creak
under the covers
tears stuttered
hand over mouth
please
oh please
go by my room.
I hear the snick of the door knob turn
fear
gathers
acid burning my throat
unable to scream
unable to run
I close my eyes
willing myself away from here.
Shush.
Fingers in my hair.
Shush.
My body tightens with fear.
Shush.
Tears gather
mouth opened in silent howl
someone
anyone
help me.
Shush.
Nearly disappeared.
Hidden
kept safe
ignorance
in this case is bliss.
Not a detriment.
Sudden silence
rending
devouring
slice his soul
suck it from his body
consume the ill death that he was
as I peek up.
You save me.
My Monster.
My Friend.
My Fiend.
No fear.
No fear.
Always with me.
©Sept. 9/19
Picture via Pinterest
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Bitter Spectre

**This is a continuation from Sister’s Shade. I did not plan for it to be a continuation but the voices have informed me they have other plans. Again this poem deals with sensitive issues.**

Rage
black tinged gold
crimson blankets silver
molted yellows caress copper
shifting the coins from hand to hand
weight
unconscious of redistributing
subtle stance of defense
noticed not
when their paths did cross.
Sneer
luscious lips
swagger as he walks away
lawyer wearing thousand dollar suit
nary a glance her way.
Stinging
abraded thighs
eyes gloom
stitched to the floor
syllables mono when they came.
No one made the connection.
No one ever would.
Still
her sister’s Shade hissed
coiling around her heart
wrapping talons in her mind
settling over her
cold death sweater
her fury left undone.
Tears collect
unbidden
unfallen
diamonds in the sky
sudden retching
voiceless howl to the moon.
Voices collect
nightmares sinking into her psyche.
Doctors in.
Doctors out.
No privacy.
Words driven into questions
hang in the air
waited upon the words
hanging unspoken on her lips
her desire to speak
driven away by the black angst
her revenge still not done.
Cold shadows gather
huddle in the corners
drool pooling beneath
striking barbs
they await.
©August 27/18
Picture via Pinterest

Sister’s Shade

**This poem deals with a very sensitive issue. I do not want to drop the poem on you unwarned.**
Her cheek marred
chunks of gravel dig in
tears squeezed from dead eyes
hears the tearing of her clothes
as if from afar.
They would say that it was her fault
that she had had asked for it
her clothing
her mannerisms
that she had taken the drink
she knew the risk.
The world began to spin
dancing lights
whirling floor
the merry-go-round of childhood.
Giggle
stumble away on his arm
ignoring that yawning pitch in her stomach
fighting to beat the nausea
threatening to drop her to her knees.
Wave away helping hands
promised he did to see her home
her friends warned her
told her not to go.
He had a reputation.
Not secret
she already knew.
He was that guy
with smoldering looks
the one who could you wet
while cutting you dead.
Danger
prickled along her skin
rain pouring down
torrential
grunting in her ear
telling her to enjoy it
‘to take it all baby 
you had to have wanted
you came away with me 
even though well you know
the drug‘……..
Nightmare under her skin
in her mind
damaged she’d become.
Red light
pulsing
warning signal
do not stop
do not pass go.
This was not unplanned
damage control
there was a story to be told
a life to be paid in gold.
Money buys leniency
time on the golf course
massages
hot yoga class
finish the semester so as not to fail.
Ragged edged
consumed with pain
with disgust
raging demon reaps…..
consumes another soul.
Her sister’s shade
strange grimace on her face
acknowledges the pain
hand held in shame
she had done that.
Hounded until the Shade had won.
Here she was
unravelling
coming undone
rape and murder avenged
at the sacrifice of her own psyche and soul.
©August 26/19
Picture found on Pinterest

No Heroes

Voices are raised
protests are held
men call to arms
women respond.
Children play with toy guns
pop pop pop
noises made
bullets tearing flesh.
Blood
crimson floods
raging in the streets
raging in the sheets
raging……..
Lost in time
lost to pain
simpler times
viewed nostalgically
yet……
danger arises
daily
without any to cease its call.
Complacent
sickly bony fingers
hooked into the soul of humanity
tearing
shredding
those with care
those who would make change
destroyed by those who want
who need
the status quo.
Baby laying in the streets
mom slayed
laying in her blood stained sheets
daddy has the blade
turned on himself.
Down on my knees
not in prayer
not in supplication
rending my hair
screaming in rage
screaming in pain
screaming in defeat
for I can see no end.
There are no heroes
to stand for the rest
time has come
for death to pass.
©June 28/19
Picture via Pinterest

Indomitable

***Today’s poem arose because I misread the Word of the Day Challenge. I read the word as contact when in fact it was contest. From the smallest mistake…..Also this poem deals with sensitive issues.
Resigned
staring into the mirror
no longer noticing
greasy hair
dead eyes
pallor
a wraith
alive in a nightmare.
Too many to count
pain
bone deep
her body never seems to stop
aching
cringing
bleeding.
Oh god
how much longer
must I go on?
Tears leaking
falling
salt to the wounds
upon her face.
All know
her stories are bullshit.
Stony anger
when disregarded
their best words
voiced concerns
she turns away
quivering voice
as one excuse
right after the other
fall from her lying lips.
Oh god
at what time
can I let go?
How became the end?
Violence begets violence
all know this.
Something roared to the forefront
a primal desire to survive
when first his fist made contact.
Knife in hand
she carved into his flesh
entering pained data
so much data
stories he beat into her flesh
given back to him.
Oh god
from where 
did this strength come?
Bruise upon bruise
break upon break
nurses cried with broken fears
doctors raged with impotence.
Stoic she was.
Beginning anew
my life is mine again
there is hope
there is healing
never again will I be……..
©June 1/19
Photo via Pinterest

Call My Name

Stepping through the mirror
hourglass dripping sand
I know not
where I am
where I need to be
I only know they call me crazy.
Sweet secrets
Independent
A wee bit loony
Well……
Mayhap a bit more
than wee
Some might call it
insanity.
Hear voices
chuckles I do
wrapping me
a web
woven
securing
keeping me
entrapped
that is what the sweet silk of your lips
does to me.
Mad as the hatter.
Seduced by hares
in love with a mouse
no one to save me
must save myself.
Decimated
claimed
reclaimed by the darkness
silver lining
I can find none
only an abyss
staring down
ready to fall
no net to catch.
Free fall.
Scream in delight
in fear 
there is no stopping
bottom 
rock or otherwise
I will hit
fears broken free.
Abused
scars of the mind
curtain
hiding what is not to be seen
am I a wizard
able to wave my wand?
I am afraid.
I know not what I sow
what I seek.
Who is here to help
to hold my hand
keep me safe?
Carved smile
skewed
cherry red
virgin’s grin
I will not be the sacrifice.
I will not willingly give my life.
Bind me not…..
tie me not…..
strength will imbue me
tearing away
roaring
screaming
fear me you will.
Somber smile
jackknife boots
assailant of the night
dread the mere whisper
of my name.
Wolf’s moon
full
pregnant
power
such as has never been seen
I have it all
you
well you have none.
Knife to your throat
trickle of blood
lips curled in disgust
no saving this beast
you are the sacrifice
I will bring you to your knees.
 
April 4/19
Image by 1632224 from Pixabay

Denial

Bitterness
seeping
oozing
black caul
wrapped around.
Words
razor sharp
sliced veins
blood running
emotions stripped down.
Cold
lifeless
unforgiving
I will never hear those words.
Sorry little one
I failed you
I failed to protect 
when I should have.
Never will she
nor he
accept the parts played
in ruination.
Concrete grey
muffling my screams 
fuck you
naught you know.
Prince…..
Pauper…..
Gleam of her eye
you took my place
forced to the rear
forced down
forgotten
unloved
unsupported
that was I.
Usurper. 
Taking my crown
my throne
stealing my home
shattering my hopes
my dreams
condemning me to this hell on earth.
Tired I am
of putting all first
my desolation
thought to be remiss.
Funeral pyre
memories shot through
conflagration. 
April 1/19
Image by Harald Matern from Pixabay