Truth’s Soft Sadness

Autumn’s crimson
golden blondes
faded
crushed to black
as earth cools
sending to sleep
Nature’s denizens.
Warmth from the sun
fleeting
a sad small gesture of defiance
in summer’s waning days.
Fallen leaves
blanket the ground
breath fresh on the air
frost on the blades of grass.
Honking geese flee the sky
another herald of summer done
sand is boxed
sun set to side
now we must
return from fantasy land.
I must let you go
let you return to your life
ignore these crystal tears
for you have moved on
even when you say that you have not
but baby
I know the truth.

©Oct. 3/19
Picture is my own

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Love’s Pain Never Lessens

This is an accompany poem to Your Fool.

Resigned
that is how I feel
why I thought this time would be different
I could not tell you.
When you said you loved me
I pashawed
how can you love someone from afar?
You can
for I do
which is why this pain
erupting inside of me
feels as though I am rending in two.
I want to wail
screech
pound upon the alter of fate
demanding to know
why am I the last always
prophesied to never have care
poor lonely woman
love has always been my downfall.
Whispered words
slipped between the worlds of reality
of dreams
of fantasy
lulling me
pacifying my need
for love and adoration.
Weep I shall
for fantasies unplayed
for dreams unrealized
letting go of this infatuation
with love
with the thought
that there is someone for me.
Head hung low
see not the tears aglitter
upon my cheeks.
Good bye my love
I shall whisper
into your sleeping ear
thank you for these times
but flee I must
staying here
will only bleed me.

©Sept. 30/19
Picture is one of my own Matlock Beach
2017

Your Fool

I feel the fool
as I sit here
tears seeping from my eyes
at the pain I feel
even though we are so far apart.
A part of my day
a love that I have
I told myself I was the one.
I thought
I do not know what I thought
I should have known
romance does not play out
I am the one
left sitting on the curb
wondering what went wrong.
I saw you accidentally
on a night you told me you were busy
I had gone out with some friends.
They tried to shield me
as they have before
but I saw you
I saw her in your arms
held tight
as you did with me last night.
Am I but a conquest?
Someone who you needed to control
to make your own
until satisfied
you rode on to the next one.
I told you
when you said I love you
I wanted none of that
I am too old
to play these teenage games.
I wish you farewell
for my heart is breaking in two
and if you stay near me
I will always be your fool.

©Sept. 30/19
Picture is one of my own taken Matlock Beach
2017

Bewitched Lover

**So it turns out I lied. Here is today’s poem.

Midnight love

fast

hard

intense

hot sweaty bodies

coming together in the night.

Heady

overwhelming

senses unable to keep up

sensory exploration

afraid one might blow up.

He wooed you

swept you off your feet

first time you thought

felt

that you mattered.

You felt beautiful

sexy

confidence grew

once more you could look in the mirror.

Brutal fall

wind swept beach

waves pounding

eroding

sandy bases

huh

suddenly

your eyes

they are wide open.

Truth be told

look back with the cold reality

a bullet was missed

thank god

he fucked up

you discovered

guess you can thank her for that.

©Sept. 12/19

Picture one of mine.

Matlock Beach Manitoba Canada 2019

Startled Epiphany

Suddenly it came to me

smack in the face

there was no where left to run

I had to open my eyes

to face the truth

somehow

I have fallen for you

despite my admonishments

‘self do not go there

it always ends as it must.’

Stupid self

did not listen at all

turned deaf ears to my pleas

offered up my heart

on silver platter

oh god what to do?

Come to me my muse

lay down at my feet

while I try to find the words

the verse

to describe you just right.

You make me laugh

never make(s) me cry

(he he I the poet am participating

given this story is probably 

mostly possibly but not about her-

isn’t that a lyric in a song?)

Mouth clamped shut

lips zippered closed

will keep all thoughts

all emotions to me.

We will dance this dance

two forward one back

neither willing to admit

what is right underneath their noses!

 

©August 26/19

Picture one of mine.

Taken this weekend at Matlock Beach.

Trueheart

Beholden

to public

to reality

to images

past

present

future

is something remiss?

I am not who I seem.

I am not who I play.

I am a woman.

I am a toy.

I am……

submissive.

Cradle my head

hold my soul

care for me

while I long for

it all.

Misconception

weak I am not

giving up my faith

my trust

my everything

to give you control

to allow you in

to let you lead…..

something most do not understand.

I desire

need

feed

on structure

rules

guidance

for I would care not for self

if you did not insist.

I am worthless

unless I am in your eyes.

I am crying

unless I am in your arms.

I am dying

alone

scared

desperate.

Please

oh please

keep me safe

hold the monsters at bay

while I sleep.

©July 4/19

Picture via Pinterest

Alone

Ghostly

chimes ring in my ears

awakening me

bathed in

awash in

velvet rays of sunlight.

Faintly

a remembrance

words whispered

hot breath

warm hands

desire swelling

peaking

falling

dissipating

while I lay coiled in your arms.

Awareness 

slowly creeps in

tears crawl down my cheeks

for this is naught

but a dream.

Perchance

one day

a time come soon

I will once more be there

comforted

protected

loved again.

I wait…..

tremors to cease

heart to resume beating

time to move forward.

While I……

I remain in the past

caught

in the greatest love affair

of my life.

Tangled web

sticky strands

none let go

none shall stand.

Alone I am.

Alone I shall be.

Alone…….

forever 

eternally.

April 13/19

Picture via Pinterest