Truth’s Soft Sadness

Autumn’s crimson
golden blondes
faded
crushed to black
as earth cools
sending to sleep
Nature’s denizens.
Warmth from the sun
fleeting
a sad small gesture of defiance
in summer’s waning days.
Fallen leaves
blanket the ground
breath fresh on the air
frost on the blades of grass.
Honking geese flee the sky
another herald of summer done
sand is boxed
sun set to side
now we must
return from fantasy land.
I must let you go
let you return to your life
ignore these crystal tears
for you have moved on
even when you say that you have not
but baby
I know the truth.

©Oct. 3/19
Picture is my own

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Love’s Pain Never Lessens

This is an accompany poem to Your Fool.

Resigned
that is how I feel
why I thought this time would be different
I could not tell you.
When you said you loved me
I pashawed
how can you love someone from afar?
You can
for I do
which is why this pain
erupting inside of me
feels as though I am rending in two.
I want to wail
screech
pound upon the alter of fate
demanding to know
why am I the last always
prophesied to never have care
poor lonely woman
love has always been my downfall.
Whispered words
slipped between the worlds of reality
of dreams
of fantasy
lulling me
pacifying my need
for love and adoration.
Weep I shall
for fantasies unplayed
for dreams unrealized
letting go of this infatuation
with love
with the thought
that there is someone for me.
Head hung low
see not the tears aglitter
upon my cheeks.
Good bye my love
I shall whisper
into your sleeping ear
thank you for these times
but flee I must
staying here
will only bleed me.

©Sept. 30/19
Picture is one of my own Matlock Beach
2017

Your Fool

I feel the fool
as I sit here
tears seeping from my eyes
at the pain I feel
even though we are so far apart.
A part of my day
a love that I have
I told myself I was the one.
I thought
I do not know what I thought
I should have known
romance does not play out
I am the one
left sitting on the curb
wondering what went wrong.
I saw you accidentally
on a night you told me you were busy
I had gone out with some friends.
They tried to shield me
as they have before
but I saw you
I saw her in your arms
held tight
as you did with me last night.
Am I but a conquest?
Someone who you needed to control
to make your own
until satisfied
you rode on to the next one.
I told you
when you said I love you
I wanted none of that
I am too old
to play these teenage games.
I wish you farewell
for my heart is breaking in two
and if you stay near me
I will always be your fool.

©Sept. 30/19
Picture is one of my own taken Matlock Beach
2017

Bewitched Lover

**So it turns out I lied. Here is today’s poem.
Midnight love
fast
hard
intense
hot sweaty bodies
coming together in the night.
Heady
overwhelming
senses unable to keep up
sensory exploration
afraid one might blow up.
He wooed you
swept you off your feet
first time you thought
felt
that you mattered.
You felt beautiful
sexy
confidence grew
once more you could look in the mirror.
Brutal fall
wind swept beach
waves pounding
eroding
sandy bases
huh
suddenly
your eyes
they are wide open.
Truth be told
look back with the cold reality
a bullet was missed
thank god
he fucked up
you discovered
guess you can thank her for that.
©Sept. 12/19
Picture one of mine.
Matlock Beach Manitoba Canada 2019

Startled Epiphany

Suddenly it came to me
smack in the face
there was no where left to run
I had to open my eyes
to face the truth
somehow
I have fallen for you
despite my admonishments
‘self do not go there
it always ends as it must.’
Stupid self
did not listen at all
turned deaf ears to my pleas
offered up my heart
on silver platter
oh god what to do?
Come to me my muse
lay down at my feet
while I try to find the words
the verse
to describe you just right.
You make me laugh
never make(s) me cry
(he he I the poet am participating
given this story is probably 
mostly possibly but not about her-
isn’t that a lyric in a song?)
Mouth clamped shut
lips zippered closed
will keep all thoughts
all emotions to me.
We will dance this dance
two forward one back
neither willing to admit
what is right underneath their noses!
 
©August 26/19
Picture one of mine.
Taken this weekend at Matlock Beach.

Trueheart

Beholden
to public
to reality
to images
past
present
future
is something remiss?
I am not who I seem.
I am not who I play.
I am a woman.
I am a toy.
I am……
submissive.
Cradle my head
hold my soul
care for me
while I long for
it all.
Misconception
weak I am not
giving up my faith
my trust
my everything
to give you control
to allow you in
to let you lead…..
something most do not understand.
I desire
need
feed
on structure
rules
guidance
for I would care not for self
if you did not insist.
I am worthless
unless I am in your eyes.
I am crying
unless I am in your arms.
I am dying
alone
scared
desperate.
Please
oh please
keep me safe
hold the monsters at bay
while I sleep.
©July 4/19
Picture via Pinterest

Alone

Ghostly
chimes ring in my ears
awakening me
bathed in
awash in
velvet rays of sunlight.
Faintly
a remembrance
words whispered
hot breath
warm hands
desire swelling
peaking
falling
dissipating
while I lay coiled in your arms.
Awareness 
slowly creeps in
tears crawl down my cheeks
for this is naught
but a dream.
Perchance
one day
a time come soon
I will once more be there
comforted
protected
loved again.
I wait…..
tremors to cease
heart to resume beating
time to move forward.
While I……
I remain in the past
caught
in the greatest love affair
of my life.
Tangled web
sticky strands
none let go
none shall stand.
Alone I am.
Alone I shall be.
Alone…….
forever 
eternally.
April 13/19
Picture via Pinterest