Pained Expression

Startling
glaring
snow diamonds
glitter
under milky moon
air so cold
breath hangs
frozen
crystal for a moment
before fading away.
Standing
watching
shadows creep
wailing winds
skeletal branches reach skyward
mournful melody
wolf’s howl
eerie counterpoint.
Stepping
one foot
other to follow
stray path
forked roads
I go
looking
not for riches
not for love
nor desire
I look for self
one lost
unto childhood
pain
memories
addiction
on goes the wretched list.
I am not proud
part of me though they are.
Today I try to compose
fragmented soul
one whole
girl
woman
Queen
I will become
never again to kneel.
©July 13/20
Picture via Pinterest

Following My Path

I scritch
I scratch
forever do I feel
I am at the bottom of an abyss
looking up
not able to climb
no matter how hard I try.
Do you see me?
Do you see beyond the outside of me?
Or is all you see……a woman?
I carry a burden.
Not a burden
for children
the caring of
the caring for
not a chore
love
days are that I want to drop the load
feel as though I am invisible
can you not see me?
My fears
rally
confronted
peering over the ledge
waiting
responsibility weighs heavily
knowing I have to raise
to teach
fearing that I will not.
I do not want
nor do I need
your pity
your sneer
I know what I have
strengths abound
I can teach
I can raise
beautiful women.
Every so often though
I am weak
I struggle
I feel the weight upon my shoulders
when I do
when I drop the ball
stare not
glare not
reach out
despite my resistance
I need you
I need your help
I need you to hold my hand.
Like thorns on a rose
prick my skin
without them
without sharp sting
I would be lost
for truth is
best part of me
still to lead.
©June 26/20
Picture via Pinterest