Fiend

Becalmed,
upon the river of my life
snakes and demons to either side.
Flames roar and sputter
dancing upon the water
as shadows reach down from the sky.
Gossamer strands of debauchery
pulling at my soul;
my heart yearning
to let go…..
yet stubbornly I hang on.
Angels weep,
their tears a salve to my scars.
Demons screech
claws extended, slashing
emboldened by my fear,
my anger,
my hatred.
Within me black ink flows,
not blood
but an evil so deep
that the demons call me
by name.
I have tried to turn away,
to escape my heritage
but never can truth be denied.
Where evil blooms
I shall appear,
a devil in a woman’s disguise.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
Dec. 7/17
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Ripped Asunder

First you went away
than you began to fade away
until I was not even sure
if you were reality
or simple a dream that I created?
Are these memories a truth
or fantasies I played
to stop the lonliness,
the betrayal of my heart.
Held in your arms
safely kept from the truth,
that soon
you will have forgotten my name.
Tears blind me as I desperately grope
to find the trail back to you,
for within my chest
my heart is ripped asunder
by your careless care.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
Dec. 5/17

Childhood Dreams

Crashing waves
a beach of sand
tranquility at its best.
Bringing back childhood memories,
of times when dreams
could still be realized.
Aching with pain to know
I abandoned myself along the way,
clawing back the tempest
parting the bleak curtain
To once again be me.
Create and go forth
Let your dreams fly
Let not society tell you no
Only ask why?
Soaring on wings buffeted by currents
beauty seen
No longer denied
For childhood dreams reclaimed.
Jay-lyn Doerksen
Feb 27/16

Grim Reaper

The Grim Reaper we fear

creeping through the night

phantom of our dreams.

He is not the one

we should watch for,

no,

but the predator on the streets….

He stalks and whirls

encased in black

shadows are his home.

Creeping and crawling

into our hearts

bleeding dry our bones.

Living on our fears and hatred

gorging on all our despair.

He mocks and sidles

not even trying to repair

but dividing and punishing

all the good people here.

Believing he is a demi-god

master of all

bowing to no one.

Captain of his fallacy

chartering a path to he’ll

to confront the Grim Reaper

and challenge him for his crown.

Jay-lyn Doerksen

©Dec. 1/17

A Child, A Mother, An Addict

Displaced, 

tears crystallizing on my face

I claw and I scratch

my heart burns with regret.

I am helpless in your embrace.

A lover’s cold arms.

Holding,

cradling my soul in disgrace

talons finding chinks in the armor

that I wear to protect my heart.

You eat away,

eroding the foundation,

the very truth of myself.

Calling forth the beast within

making me confront myself.

Mirror image

a horror to be seen.

A sneer,

a snarl,

lips curled in defense

I raise my hand and shatter the glass.

Mirror mirror

an image I can’t compete

a child, a mother, an addict

a soul withering in her embrace.

© Jay-lyn Doerksen

1/27/16

***Another poem from 2016 that I love

I do not know….

These words become a jumble on my tongue
twisted and sharp
coming out all wrong.
Stabbing and scoring
damaging your heart without meaning to.
Unable to stop
as the pain and past mingle together
and I make the same mistakes over and over.
I do not know how to be sweet.
I do not know how to be kind.
I do not know how to love.
My past is a charred ruin
of relationships burned
and love never given a chance.
Tears blur my sight
as I watch you leave
knowing that yet again
I have done this to myself.
I am sorry my love.
I am sorry my dear.
All I know how to do
is rend and destroy,
any who come to close
to the fire burning within.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
November 30/17