Addicted Voice

I originally wrote this poem in 2019. Long before I quit drinking.

Can you hear?
That voice
subtle
mere hiss in your ear
whisper
on the edge of awareness
cooing
‘come to me baby
come to my heart
I have you little girl
will never ever 
let you fall.
Sensations 
overriding thoughts
hold me close
addiction
steady chant
ease the ache
ease the pain
take as much as you can.
My blood is sluggish
my thoughts impaired
heart races 
triple time
so sure 
that I am dead.
Stutter
stall a beat
breath catches in my throat
shall I die
shall I cry
who will understand?
That sensation
muffled cotton
wrapped
oh my god
I am so content.
This is what it does
drug
alcohol
beast that calms the urge
wrap me in velvet
take me from here.
Eyes flutter shut
carried away
clouds
white innocence
finally
pain is no more.
©Dec. 30/19
Picture via Pinterest

No Take Backs

Wearisome
I am
knowledge
needy
think not
aware I am
hiding
desire
constant reassurance
child like
wonder
ease of love
striped
torn asunder
innocence lauded
betrayed
I cry
tears
hollow
told
not the same
never the same
always the same
hello
good-bye
why do you hurt me
make me cry?
Stoic
chin up
see not
blurred vision
watch
walking away
nary a look back
so long
fare thee well
never come back
you hear?
 
©March 11/21
Picture is my Own