T: My Dream

There comes a time in every woman’s life when she falls in love.
Not with her husband
not with her boyfriend
but with her child.
When they come from within
and are laid on her tummy mewling
she welcomes them to the world.
Once I thought it would not happen
once I thought my time had passed
that a child would not
could not
be born of me.
Yet he came
tiny and fragile
delicate yet
and fierce to the end.
They told me not to worry
if he did not cry or scream.
I braced myself for fear
yet when they laid him upon me
he grabbed my finger and held on tight
proclaiming his appearance.
My little warrior,
the fighter that I was meant to be.
Six years later
he astounds me.
He robs me of my breath.
I watch him grow
and learn.
And damn don’t I know
that the best of me is in front of me.
My son.
My child.
My life.
My moon and stars.
The dream I thought I had missed.
Originally written August 7/14 (T’s birthday)
revised March 20/18

Heartless Love

the words we speak
the dance we flow through
shades of emotions
that tumble about.
this thread that binds
steel wrapped in velvet
so that the chains
chafe not our skin.
unwilling to surrender
these contested wills
bruised eyes flashing
as once more we attack.
words that sting
barbs that hook and tear
flesh torn asunder
wounds never stitched
left gaping
breathless gasps
as we lay panting.
Thieves of love
honor and faith
a warped notion of pleasure
pain that sticks
never ending
a cycle of disrepute.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
Feb. 17/18


They are all jumbled in there,
these mad emotions
defining my existence
from birth to death,
and all the years in between.
As a child I danced with butterflies
lived as elves did
in cities hidden within the treetops
where no harm could befall me.
As a teen I rode the tempest,
with lightening crashing
and thunder roaring,
becoming lost and broken
building a wall brick by brick
so none may hurt me.
In the first blush of adulthood
the dreams and wishes
still so poignant
and within reach.
Willing my heart to heal.
Willing to learn to love again.
Sands pass slowly through the hourglass
each second a million years of mine
as I live each possible life,
each possible love,
each possible fear.
I have cried and shrieked.
I have loved and laughed.
I have held death in the palm of my hand
only to become cradled in his arms.
Torn apart by mad love
Repaired by gentle love
Insanity breeding in my veins
sanity bleeding into my dreams.
Mad emotions
jumbled here and there
woven within the fabric of my being,
without them I would be colorless.
Jay-lyn Doerksen
December 16/17


upon the river of my life
snakes and demons to either side.
Flames roar and sputter
dancing upon the water
as shadows reach down from the sky.
Gossamer strands of debauchery
pulling at my soul;
my heart yearning
to let go…..
yet stubbornly I hang on.
Angels weep,
their tears a salve to my scars.
Demons screech
claws extended, slashing
emboldened by my fear,
my anger,
my hatred.
Within me black ink flows,
not blood
but an evil so deep
that the demons call me
by name.
I have tried to turn away,
to escape my heritage
but never can truth be denied.
Where evil blooms
I shall appear,
a devil in a woman’s disguise.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
Dec. 7/17

Ripped Asunder

First you went away
than you began to fade away
until I was not even sure
if you were reality
or simple a dream that I created?
Are these memories a truth
or fantasies I played
to stop the lonliness,
the betrayal of my heart.
Held in your arms
safely kept from the truth,
that soon
you will have forgotten my name.
Tears blind me as I desperately grope
to find the trail back to you,
for within my chest
my heart is ripped asunder
by your careless care.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
Dec. 5/17

Childhood Dreams

Crashing waves
a beach of sand
tranquility at its best.
Bringing back childhood memories,
of times when dreams
could still be realized.
Aching with pain to know
I abandoned myself along the way,
clawing back the tempest
parting the bleak curtain
To once again be me.
Create and go forth
Let your dreams fly
Let not society tell you no
Only ask why?
Soaring on wings buffeted by currents
beauty seen
No longer denied
For childhood dreams reclaimed.
Jay-lyn Doerksen
Feb 27/16

Grim Reaper

The Grim Reaper we fear

creeping through the night

phantom of our dreams.

He is not the one

we should watch for,


but the predator on the streets….

He stalks and whirls

encased in black

shadows are his home.

Creeping and crawling

into our hearts

bleeding dry our bones.

Living on our fears and hatred

gorging on all our despair.

He mocks and sidles

not even trying to repair

but dividing and punishing

all the good people here.

Believing he is a demi-god

master of all

bowing to no one.

Captain of his fallacy

chartering a path to hell

to confront the Grim Reaper

and challenge him for his crown.

Jay-lyn Doerksen

©Dec. 1/17