Evil’s Acceptance

This poem was inspired by a post on Bitchin’ in the Kitchen . The post Why I’ll Never Use Twitter Again had me shaking and crying by end. Given my past I cannot allow this to pass without comment. And I thank Britchy for bringing it to my attention. I am not going to pontificate but this is wrong…this is pure evil….

Jay-lyn  Dec. 6/19

There are many faces
facets
for evil
hiding in plain sight
allowed with passive complacency
by those who need to do better.
Children sexualized.
Men
women
allowed to do so
with legitimacy
on social platforms.
No voices raised. 
No shouts of dismay.
Quiet changes
deep within the fine print
allows malignant growth
of ideas
that must not 
cannot see the light of day.
Have you heard the cries?
Have you heard the devastation?
Screams of pain
dark despair
wishes of death
dancing within a child’s head?
When hurting oneself
only so not to feel
not to care
is the only way out
the only way to cope with all that fear.
Let me lead you down the winding path
carved
inked upon my psyche
my skin
show you the death of innocence
the turning inward
the anger
the rage.
It took me years to overcome.
Imagine now
shattered bodies
those unable to break free
who took their lives
who took the lives of others
to satisfy a sick desire.
We must resist this growing tide
this evil that is coiling
insidious with its reach
for should we ignore
chose ignorance
a reaping will take place.
©Dec. 6/19
Picture via Pinterest

Truth’s Ballad

How battered
how bruised
how broken
must I be
that I view everything you say
under scrutiny.
Thoughts
always twisted
expectant of the worst
never expecting the good.
Cannot believe the hurt
stifled for so long
brewing
bursting through my skin.
Death worms
boring outward
escaping with their vile shards
stomped beneath my boot
as they fall.
No one loves you.
I am loved.
You are ugly.
I see my beauty.
It comes from within.
No one wants to hear your pain.
I am surrounded by those
who share my pain
hold my hand
hug me tight
let me cry.
You are shallow
selfish
insignificant in this world.
I am me.
I am imperfect.
I have shattered.
I have remade myself.
I am learning to listen
finally
to the most important person of all…..
myself.
Clothed in color
standing upon cliff’s edge
within my hands
ashes of…..
the horror of my past
the fear that tried to bind me
the voice
wailing in fear
in shame
in pain
no longer caged
no longer tongueless
soars
released to the skies
song upon the bird’s wings.

©Oct. 16/19
Picture is my own

Two become One…..

Winter
shrouds the ground
covering all in sleeping death
memories stored
forgiveness withheld
oh damn you poor woman.
Life attacks
in so many ways
how can you be sure
which lesson you should learn?
It is easy to differentiate.
At least it is for me.
I run
I hide
I try so hard
not to face the voice in my head.
I turn my eyes
I duck my head
I am weak
I am
I cannot
I will not
oh shit
hear it comes again…..
the voice
whispering
chiding
making me see.
Truth is not easy to face
to see.
It is painful.
Rip back the scab.
Rip back the veil.
It is time…..
amalgamate me.

©Oct. 13/19
Picture is my own

Restoration of Self

This poem has been inspired by Christine of Poetry for Healing.

Her Daily Haiku-Sat. October 5, 2019

I saw a young woman
standing beneath crystal falls
head back
eyes closed
cleansing herself of her past.
Dark
depression
anger so raw
ravaged her soul
tore her apart.
Year upon year
she abused herself
she took the drugs
she drank the booze
hiding from the truth
blade driven into her heart
time was coming
she needed to mend.
Suicide was not upon her mind
the night it came crashing down
all there was
a howling void
being fed
stop shrieking
stop raging
stop
stop
stop
stop
I can take it no longer.
Yes
for that is me
young
old
middle
I am all of that
and so much more.
Look into the mirror
see no longer shame
beautiful woman
you have grown.
Entwine
image old and new
behold
glorious woman
you are renewed.
I saw a young woman
she stood beneath the falls
washing away perceived sins.
Pushing back
long golden locks
I realized it was me.
Forgiveness is a place
deep deep inside
that is where to heal begins.
I grow
I love
I desire
a new life for me
one where I am strong.
©Oct. 5/19
Picture via Pinterest

Risen Anew

Under autumn’s foliage
crimson reds
charcoal oranges
browns crushed to gold.
Crisp air
frost covered grass
shattered glass
crinkles beneath my feet.
Breath comes out
vapour in the air
simple chill
the type that stings
when one first stirs.
Apple pink cheeks
scented lips on mine
taste the last golden rays of summer
peaks of time
send me up
send me down
now though I know the difference.
Grim tidings
autumn use to bring
sullen days
grey clouds
simmering overhead.
I felt broken down
battered
lifting my head
a chore that seemed insurmountable.
Time clicked by
snail’s pace
crushed beneath a burden of blackness
crawl I did
through day and night
knees blooded
hands scraped
I no longer cared.
Here I lay
so my epithet began
soul shattered
life lost
wait no
I do not want to go.
Surge of fire.
Rage.
No more shall I be this puppet
danced upon the strings of the past
time has come
let go.
Rising
strength from head to toe
phoenixed ash
glory a robe I wear
for I am woman
for I am finally myself
listen to my voice roar.
©Sept. 22/19
Picture via Pinterest

Reality

These emotions
the ones that you see me feel?
Emotions that have wrapped me
(pain)
kept me in chains
I will break free.
No longer bound
the links that have held
weaken
the more I pull
the more I can feel.
(hope)
My past is not my definition.
My future remains unwritten.
I have my today.
How I act
how I react
how I feel about situations
that is what will define me.
I can disagree.
I can fume.
I can rage.
Or 
I can let it pass
let it go
be me.
I will no longer bow.
I will no longer fear.
(Memories are only that
memories)
Not my truth.
Not my reality.
 
©July 7/19
Picture via Pinterest

Tempest Howls

Left in the wind
howling
full moon
calling blood to surface
bringing me to my knees.
Tempest
storm unacknowledged
swimming against the tide
fighting
desperate
I will make it back
crawl upon the shore
gaze up in weariness at the stars on high.
Count my blessings
there are none
only a cold darkness
that condemns.
Curled in a ball
curled in on my soul
desperate to make myself feel
desperate to make myself forget
contradiction
this I know
but you know not
see not
the rotting damage within.
See not
the reel of film
on autoplay
over and over
ravaging of my being
my heart
broken when so little.
No one cares
no one attempted to shelter
I have been alone
alone
always I shall be.
Pain
would that you could feel
sharp
blinding
no one can save
I am dying
care to acknowledge your part
your destination in this plot?
I thought not
Father wolf shall come
ready to rip out your throat.
Sit upon your chest
muzzle soaked through
gentle lick of the cheek
salted tears gone
head upon his fur
steady heartbeat
he is my protector
he is my……
Fuck you.
 
March 28/19
Image by GimpWorkshop from Pixabay