Me Myself & I

Disillusioned
fairy tales
not real
love
prince charming
happiness
dance across screens
leap across dreams
seems to land in everyone else’s lap
while I
watch from sidelines
drawn 
watch behind fences
erected
stand behind drawbridge
drawn tall
watching world in love
not seeing
not wanting
not needing
that sickening stuff.
Alone
proud
can do it all
need no one to hold my hand
independent
beheld to none
allowed to live my life
as I wish it to run.
No one sees me late at night
reflected in deep moonlight
sitting
wondering
where it all went wrong…..
why…..
when….
how is no mystery
torment
torture
men who abused
who broke
sense of self
sense of worth
whilst laughing with delight
at tortures played 
upon tender flesh.
Stand tall I will.
Stand alone I shall.
For time
has proven 
again and again
that I am the only one
I can believe in.
 
©Nov. 21/20
Picture via Pinterest

Ballad of Sorrow

Growing
feel it
I do
can you?
Chasm deep
one side me
one side you
seems so simple
build a bridge
cross together
life
blissful
pleasant
needed to salve
broken spirit
needed to prove
love reality
novelty
for one never loved
only owned
an extension of other
never seen
never validated
until…..
Papered cracks
velvet wrapped
beneath
terror
wide river
racing
trapped
beneath
gasping
roiling in rapids
overwhelmed
safety net
threatened
ripped
hanging on with whitened knuckles
bleeding fingers
while struggling to make you see…..
Vast expanse
ice made
how to cross
fire no longer scorches
watching
fear laced tongue
laced to smiling lips
will bent
will extended
losing self
to make another happy…..
Words dance
tuneless in the air
mouths moving
no one listening
fears
fast dividing
I see you
on the floe
facing away
unable to dance over moving water
leaving me behind
see you not
the pain
the need
the want
fed by
paralyzing fear
reality of life
abuse
degradation
falling down the rabbit hole
why
has it come to this?
Voices
broken whispers
tears
stars reflected
heart
never freely given…..
slashed
battered
chained behind iron
given to you
with gritted teeth
for I know
simple as
one
two
three
one day
you will leave.
©Nov. 20/20
Picture via Pinterest