Engage the mind before the body;
and her soul will be yours;
Engage the mind before the body;
and her soul will be yours;
Once I thought that I knew what love was
warm sugary feelings
Wrapped around me like grandma’s blanket.
But that is not love.
arguing yet still accepting one another.
never seeing one another but know you are there
the ability to see passed your faults and moving forward.
It is not a wonder that love has passed on by
for I dream of a love found in books and fairy tales
Not the love that is really extended.
So I shall say so long and farewell
For I can no longer keep up this fantasy.
When tomorrow comes so does the rage
the time I spent building
I huddle within myself
trying to come together.
I lost so much time, not being me
but being the mannequin you desired
Smart and cute I cannot maintain the facade
but allow it to fall and shatter.
What made me think I could play?
What made me think that I could endure?
Sick and silly love, that is what it does
turns you from the hero
to the child that snivels on the floor.
On the morrow when my heart is breaking
when the tears are filling mine eyes
I will seek for thee
I will watch with wonder as once more
our love does grow so wild
I will watch with agony as we come undone
bitter in such defeat.
Once upon a time came to us
once upon a time we failed
Once upon a time winter’s snow did creep
and the blackness enthralled.
T and me, we started this new journey of life a year ago this month. I upset his daily routine by moving from the home I shared with his father into an apartment. I upended his life by falling out of love with the man I thought I was destined to spend the rest of my life with. Shit happens. Wrong people marry and to carry on would have resulted in a child who would have had commitment problems as he aged. (Look at myself and the bro……children of divorce, father was a total louse and neither of us were/are interested in marriage.) So two years ago this upcoming October I told my ex that I no longer loved him and well……how could you not see the problems?
That is not what this is about. When T and me moved, I had my mattress (a king size that I still am not use to sleeping in alone. Am finally beginning to sleep all over but for the passed year I have still been sleeping in ‘my’ spot-makes it easy when I don’t want to fold clothes, they go on the other side ha ha ha) T had a mattress. I got my bed frame, a romantic piece of work. All curly curves and open and a light color!!!!!! My ex liked everything dark thus I am rebelling and everything I now have is a light color. (This includes my new clothing save for yoga pants and shorts. They are still black)
Let us fast forward through a year of trying desperately to get T to sleep in his own room. I have bribed him, I have cajoled him, yelled at him. There have always been excuses. The ‘moo moo’s’ have returned to live in his closet. (Imaginary scary animals that are not cows from when he was 3) The angry people living under his bed despite it being on the floor. It has been a disaster zone from day one.
I promised him that when I received some money this weekend that we would go to Ikea and finally get him a bed frame. Only problem is the money was suppose to be deposited into my account and instead they sent a cheque to my ex. (Long story short back pay for ex for last year’s CTC from government) so no money in my account. I was going to wait until next weekend but M finagled the truck from her son so I decided what the hell? The ex will give me my share next week and off we went.
As seen in the picture up above, T is pumped. This is the same bed frame that we looked at last year. Exactly the one that he wanted. It was 15% off. Done. And than we walked around Ikea. And I listened to T whine and mutter about how he was dying of thirst. No word of a lie, he followed behind me panting and pulling at his shirt like it was 600 degrees in there. I am pms’ing. I was ready to kill him. When I had to go and get the trolley to lay my large boxes on I told him to stay with M. And she knew so she kept him for me.
Got home and a friend came over to help me put the bed together as opposed to M and me doing it. And thank goodness I asked. I would still be attempting to put that bed together right now had he not. M would be cursing my name. Cursing T’s name. But sometimes I can be a little smarter. My bed frame, king size was so easy to put together, here I was assembling some bomb or something because oh my god!!!! The directions were so complex and really why is there nothing in writing? Why all pictures? Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
As you can see though, T has his bed frame and loves it. Bed time last night and in he went no problems. And his room is clean. Today I am going to Rug Doctor his carpets and move his couch in there. Once I have a table for him, I will bring out the spare t.v. and hook the Playstation up for him so he can watch Netflix and Youtube. Despite the way I was feeling yesterday I am thrilled that T is happy. And it isn’t like I can’t use the newly purchased bed frame to milk a few chores out of him. ‘Cause that is just how this parent rolls. (LOL)
The flames lick at me, scorching the armor I bear
weighing me down, pulling me further into the abyss.
I hear my princess scream, resistant
battling her way back from defeat.
I crawl forward on hands and knees
the keening I make? Or is that my soul?
I only know that I cannot give up,
I must go forward.
Forward to the woman I love,
forward to the future ordained,
Forward to the depths of hell
This story is old, as old as can be.
A King, A Queen, The Princess
and the knave that has her heart.
Only this time, there is no happy ending
there is no fond farewell.
There is only horror and hell
blood and pain
dancing in the slashing rain.
Insanity and narcissism
power and rage,
this is no fairy tale,
there will be no bliss.
Slumped against the wood grained door
my sword clatters to the ground.
I can no longer take the beating,
I can no longer hold the weight of my head.
Their psychic battle savages my mind;
pulling and pushing as they try to claim.
Each one wanting to lock into my soul
and pull it into their realm of hell.
I do not know how much longer I can hold on,
I can find no hole to hide.
A tangled web of colored illusions
the sole shield I can muster;
as I try to escape their rage.
Humor, tears, kitties, and infertility, on the road to being a single mother by choice.
Sharing my poetry to help end the stigma about mental health
NO LONGER ENCUMBERED BY ANY SENSE OF FAIR PLAY, EX-JOURNALISTS RETURN TO ACTIVE DUTY TO FIGHT THE TRUMPIAN MENACE!
The blog of Sandy J. White
Author: Words From An Unlikely Poet and the follow up, Further Thoughts.
by Lize Bard
A woman gifted with beauty and spirit, but above all with an indomitable will.
A place to write all I need to write.
I'm Victoria Stuart, a poet who philosophizes and sings about family matters and entanglements.
Welkom op de blog van Discobar Bizar. Druk gerust wat op de andere knoppen ook, of lees het aangrijpende verhaal van Harry nu je hier bent. Welcome to the Discobar Bizar blog, feel free to push some of the other buttons, or to read the gripping story of Harry whilst you are here!
We're All Mad Here
Tales of friendship, food and a sense of belonging.
✨Welcome to my cheerful Blog, it's all about my Life experiences•Inspiration•Motivation•Daily-Quotes•Art•Deep-thoughts• You will enjoy being here. :)✨
Where poetry and stories collide.
Random musings on life, society, and politics