Word of the Day Challenge #60-Untitled Poem

Blackened eyes
fattened lip
sit in the corner
watch
he will drink his bliss.
Blinded with shattered tears
dreams
long dead turned to ashes
unseeing
a dark world
captured in sullen silence.
What had she done?
It never seemed to end
the list of evil ills
deeds
imagined or real
the sadness
grey mists
a fog she lives in
better than seeing the pity
wrapped on the faces
of all those around.
Rage
black
violent
worms its way through her soul
tattered morality
death is coming
it only matters who he will court first.
Brutality.
A way of life.
Fear.
Day to day.
Slow rising tide
anguish
his time has come to pay.
She stands over
blood
drip drip drip
hits the floor
plop plop plop
sinister grin
she had finally fought
and won
tears slide down her cheeks.
mutterings of a mad hatter
I will show him emotional…..
slice away scars of time
slide to floor 
next to tormentor
lover
husband
beautiful boy that he had been.
Ribbons of blood
twined together
happiness found in death
eluded them in life
a series of misreads.
©September 14/19
Picture found on Pinterest
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My Titan

Shadows
creep
crawl
infest the corners
dancing under the sheets
pulling on my toes
nibbling on my finger tips.
Monster under the bed
hear him roar
distant rumble
build up of thunder
rolling across the midnight sky
roiling clouds
covered by darkness
he lurks
he hunts
he will come for you.
Creep creep
hear the floor creak
under the covers
tears stuttered
hand over mouth
please
oh please
go by my room.
I hear the snick of the door knob turn
fear
gathers
acid burning my throat
unable to scream
unable to run
I close my eyes
willing myself away from here.
Shush.
Fingers in my hair.
Shush.
My body tightens with fear.
Shush.
Tears gather
mouth opened in silent howl
someone
anyone
help me.
Shush.
Nearly disappeared.
Hidden
kept safe
ignorance
in this case is bliss.
Not a detriment.
Sudden silence
rending
devouring
slice his soul
suck it from his body
consume the ill death that he was
as I peek up.
You save me.
My Monster.
My Friend.
My Fiend.
No fear.
No fear.
Always with me.
©Sept. 9/19
Picture via Pinterest

Word of the Day Challenge #54-Untitled Poem

***This poem is a continuation of Sister’s Shade and Bitter Spectre . Again these poems deal with sensitive issues.***
Flesh 
stretched taut over broken skull
eyes sunken
forever looking inward
escaping mirrored glare.
Life went down in a flash
fire burned 
she wanted to forget.
To run away.
Gaunt
sinew and muscle
consumed as fuel.
She huddles
invisible
hidden
hair over face
teeth cracked
decayed
falling out…..
broken
blackened
hurting in her head.
They ground her.
Keep her feeling pain.
Gashes in her arms
festering pus glows
never enough to kill herself
do any lasting harm.
She had luck.
Always found.
Always cradled.
Always…..
brought back from the brink of hell.
She tried.
Put herself in danger.
Ripped open her veins.
Drank to oblivion and beyond.
Took drugs and more.
Every time
she awoke to the same living nightmare.
One she knew well.
The view never changed.
Her eyes flutter open
pain ripping through anew
bending over her
face twisted in anguished wail
eyes blackened with rage
sister soul eater
her revenge…..
©August 30/19
Picture via Pinterest

Original Sin

Physical wounds
broken bones
lacerated skin
all will heal.
Thick skin of scar tissue
forming over
voluminous  cheers
pats on the back
overcoming such as this
viewed as a survivor
as one who stood up
took names
let no one overcome.
Wounds worn with rage
left tattered
torn soul
weeping pus
unable to close.
Words
razor sharp
sheer through sensitive skin
rending
devouring
falling to the floor
huddled in pain
there is no forgiveness
there is no help
I have been left all alone.
Options you had
right
wrong
do
or do not.
You chose 
to destroy childhood innocence
tear away veils
mimicking caring
tender feelings
when in truth
sinister
fucked up monster you were.
Play the martyred man
for all to see.
I saw…..
I was destroyed.
Up I stand
on hills so high
wind buffeting
screaming my truth
unable to kill
unable…..
to erase
eradicate
this sin.
©August 24/19
Picture via Pinterest

Just Me

I sat down with her
that voice in my head
a conversation we had to have
for it seemed
she was awakening
calling my name
freaking me out
truth be told
because she whispers in my ear:
‘You and you alone can guide your destiny’
I am the one in control.
I am the one who guides internal dialogue.
I am the one who can listen.
I am the one who can shut it down.
There is a twinge of fear though…..
The voices are back
filling my head
conversation over conversation
there is no freedom
zone in (too close shearing sceams)
zone out (blank and mindless smile)
all do I do not have to admit
the voices are mine.
I fear to delve too deep.
I fear what is coming to light.
Hold me close
dispel the shadow
still my tears
warm embrace
I fear I am going crazy.
As trite as it may seem
I gauge my sanity daily:
Am I normal today?
Am I not?
Is it a sad day?
Truth is addiction is my undoing.
That is why the voices have been so still
for liquid gold
soothes burning soul
quenching desire to hide
allowing hurts to subside
beneath a hazy ideal
I can be just who I am
no more
no less
just me.
©August 22/19
Picture is one of my own
Matlock Beach Manitoba 2017

Invisible

I want explain
to have you understand
the inner workings of my mind
the memories
the experiences
that have molded me into who I am.
A little girl
rolls into a young girl
folds into a teenager
accidental young adult
anger
pain
despair
ooze from my pores
swipe the bottle
hit the needle
slash the veins
anything at all
to keep these demons quiet.
Face pressed against the window
looking in
always in never out
turned away
slow realization 
you fancy my misery
my sorrow
breathing them in
fodder for your life.
I wish you could see yourself
as I do
bloated vampire
feeding on the blackened emotions
of those who surround you
suffering in silence
as you destroy each and everyone
floating before the greed
the hoard…..
Bronze prison
lower my head
caught 
sincerely lost
a pawn 
in your chess game.
©August 15/19
Picture via Pinterest

Word of the Day Challenge #48-Untitled Poem

When I was a little girl
I was taught how I was to be…..
how to smile
how to cook
how to curtsy…..
to a man
bat my eyes
squeal with delight
fawning
make him come hither and yon.
I was told to hold my tongue
to keep a civil voice in my head
no one cared to know my thoughts
no one cared if I even had ideas
I was to be another pretty face.
Groomed I was
that is what they call it now
a gentle sounding word
for so repulsive an act.
I am no longer blinded
falling apart
scared of what is inside
I am of she
she is of me
we are together
stronger than apart.
Two halves coming home.
Scalding tears
wash away the sins of this child
scour clean
the besmirching of innocence
give my life back to me.
Black leather
silk lace
danger stalks the shadows
feel the curve of my knife.
I stand up
glassy smile
foot upon your spine
time and time again
revenge shall play.
Upon your flesh
your soul
until you scream
beseeching
for me to stop.
Hysterical fears
magma rage
I am tired of burning down the house
it is time to admit
it is time to cut free…..
I ain’t no lady
a venging killer I be.
©Aug. 13/19
Picture via Pinterest