Stand Alive

It’s that time again for those who keep track. Unless I screwed you up in the summer as I did myself when I got lost as to when Tember was home and when he wasn’t. Was posting poems willy nilly. 🙂

I have written a new poem Stand Alive over at Flyhiee.com. The poem coincides very nicely with today’s poem Timeless Travels written in response to Word of the Day Challenge  word Odyssey.

I hope you enjoy. I know that after writing both of them I feel really really good.

Have a great Sunday.

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Timeless Travels

****There are times when I see the Word of the Day Challenge  word and the poem comes to me. Today’s word was such as word. I knew what I needed to write as soon as I saw today’s prompt. I hope you enjoy.****
Time comes when life is reviewed
whether at death
at birth
or
somewhere in between.
Childhood…..
rosy pictures
bleak dreams
nightmares bled into reality.
Teenager…..
anger
rage
disgust
angst so dense
surrounded me like a cloak
hiding me in plain sight.
Young woman…..
wanting
needing
searching
seeking for love
for someone to take care of me.
Ha ha
I bet you never thought that of me
strong as I am
independent as I am
that I would like to have some care for me.
Mother…..
terrified
as I beheld his tiny body
awed
when he looked at me
worried
will I prove to be enough
or with him shall I fail?
Woman I am…..
beautiful
sexual
loving
dreaming
head in the clouds
reawakening that child inside.
my journey
arduous
fraught with damage to psyche
killing attempts on the soul
has lead me here
to this precipice
no longer afraid to fall.
 
©September 8/19
Picture is one of my own.
Matlock Beach Manitoba 2017

Healing Self

Carving a path
eking out a space
a place
that I can call my own
where I can sing my songs
where I can dance with abandon
where I can finally be me.
Cowering within
so long
never a moment’s peace
little girl wailing
screaming
where no one can hear
except for me.
Hungry
wanting to consume the pain
agony
torturous
writhing on the floor
desperate to escape the chains binding.
Voices rise up
pointing their fingers
reading me their wants
their desires
which
should they be at cross purpose to my own
shall be placed first.
Desperate to escape
using any measure found
alcohol
drugs
knife held to my veins
needing to let the venom out.
You found me
struggling
alone
on that street corner
the one between Hell and Hope.
I found safety.
You nurtured me.
You fed me.
You healed the physical
yet are unable to breach the walls
of my mental psyche.
Walls built
tough to tear down
never do I let others in.
You…..
you have found a way in
you have found a way to peace
you have given me my wants
my needs.
You have taught me how to heal myself
never shall I forget this.
 
©June 22/19
Picture via Pinterest

Awakening

Surreal
traipsing through alleyways
on the search
unsure what I hunt for
only knowing
it must be here.
Stalking
I wander lost
unable to get ahead
yet never falling behind.
Elusive
slipping like a shadow before
there goes my love
on the run again.
So abused this heart of mine
choosing to shelter in the pain
choosing damage over health
choosing…..
to be chained
to be locked 
to be shackled.
Hiding behind a door 
welded shut 
with bars across.
No one gets in.
No one gets out.
Gingerly I knock upon the door
worried at what I might find
a wisp of Hotel California
playing in my mind.
Bars fell
door unmagiced
opens
slowly I enter.
In the corner
no longer sobbing
is that small part of me
who still loves with abandon
who believes in beauty
who believes in the possibility of everything.
Vast smile on her face
she squeals
delighted to see me
ready to go.
I gather my love.
I gather my heart.
I leave behind sorrow.
I leave behind pain.
I leave behind the worst.
My love looks in
black night
shadows dancing
squeals and disappears.
I feel my heart bloom.
Sorry to say
my hospitality for my new tenets
was very poor
so they did decay
a small pile of ashes
with no power at all.
©May 21/19
Picture found via Pinterest by The Eclectic Contrarian.

Word of the Day Challenge Poem #32 (Untitled)

When unfettered
when time unfolds
peace comes to heart
desirous new needs
felt
found
I am who I am meant to be.
Confident?
One might think
yet I am not.
No longer is there a voice
no longer do I berate
but critical
oh yes
I struggle with…….
acceptance 
of what I see in the mirror.
Afraid?
No longer
never again
for I am strong
for I am love
for the nightmare has been banished
sent on its way.
Sometimes though
in the dark of night
the nightmare returns
causing me to scream in fright.
To beg 
for help that never arrives.
Lost?
Never again
no longer.
For I know who I am
I know the path that I must walk
how to get where I need to be.
Once I was…..
lost that is…..
wandering
alone
unaccepting
hiding from all the pain.
All of this…..
the ideas
the emotions
foreign to me.
What I have found
a bone deep happiness
settling in
taking over.
Once there was pain.
Once there was fear.
Once….. 
I could only numb
my mind.
©May 19/19

Freedom

Speeding down the road
top down
music blaring
running as fast as I can
from the pain
from the anger
from the rage.
Black pit
waiting
yawning
chasm deep
endless fall
turbulent.
Assailed
all sides
emotions
hurling at me so fast
I am unable to reconcile.
Where…..
what….
is the problem I run from?
I cannot find.
My mind is cloudy
my heart is closing
my mouth sealed
this way
misery contained.
Seeking sunshine
salt air
warm water
to surround myself
caress myself
lose myself
in acceptance.
Time has come
to clear
sweep
destroy
cobwebs lingering
embracing
truth
love
and self.
©May 11/19
Picture via Pinterest found by The Eclectic Contrarian

Heretics

Each step
takes me further away
brings me bitter peace
acceptance of the world around me.
Wrapped in tranquil acrimony
holding my tongue
holding my views
holding my reality
close to me.
No one wants to hear
no one wants to know
no one wants to see
differences
only the same.
Sheep in a huddle
grouped together
wanting nothing more
than to conform
to become like everyone else.
Brain washed
spoon fed ideology
never a thought of ones own.
This is what our world has become
a mouthpiece for the wicked
who look to destroy
who look to raze our lands
rape
pillage
destroy
taking what they want
never giving back.
it seems to those who…..
ripped the scales from their eyes
opened their ears to cries around
who try to rally
to educate
only to be named….. 
heretics.
©May 10/19
Picture via Pinterest found by The Eclectic Contrarian