What if?

What if?
After your heart has mended
your tears have dried
no longer 
cuddling with pillows
still holding his scent
your phone were to ping.
What if?
One last wish
one last breath held
heart flutters
seeing his name
trembling smile
could it be true
had he come back…..
to play?
What if?
Truth always told
second 
always you will be 
yet 
happiness
in world does bloom
selfish
you know
here you have been before
pain only
upon this path does walk
courting it
you are.
What if?
Could you forgive?
Could you accept?
No more time
less in fact
five minutes in life
an eternity in fantasy
eyes cast in agony
doubt frustrates
drawn back within
yearning
aching 
for his touch.
What if?
Could you
would you
should you
pain that path lays
loneliness
empty nights
littered with tears
empty bottles
liquid love
easing ache
you could do without.
What if?
What ifs 
a useless game
designed 
to frustrate
to employ
wishes
dreams
wants
desires
hidden deep 
taken out
as night blackens
stars atwinkle
wish upon one…..
What if…..
 
©Oct. 21/20
Picture via Pinterest

Dream of Me

Tears
no longer falling.
Rage
erupting
flowing like lava
more
more
more
until
explosion.
I scare you.
Maybe someone should.
Cocky are you
believing all should bow
take hold of your robe
carry forth the crown.
Fattened calf 
lead to the altar.
Mistakes made
gritted teeth
realizing
discovering
sighing breath.
Stooge
not of the three
only of self.
Curling in
will not show
how much I hurt.
Standing on the abyss
ready to jump.
Currents rise
diving in
cradled
safe
watching from above
as ravens tear into you.
Your form.
Your lies.
Your ego.
Deflated
depressed
drained
made to pay.
I am not a simple girl.
I am a woman
strong
independent
courageous
never again
to fall to my knees…..
docile & powerless.
Worth I know
forgotten for a bit
screw you dude
too bad
’cause
I am that bad bitch.
The one
who haunts your dreams at night.
November 23/18