Naked

I stand, naked before the mirror, looking at my flaws;

a thickening waist, breasts that are beginning to sag,

a small belly from carrying my son…

I am aging.

When I was 12, 18 seemed so far away

when I was 18, 25 was a century away

When I was 27,  I cried my first set of tears

because now I knew what it meant to be aging.

At 30 I learned that the turbulent emotions I have felt for years

the anger and rage that I spewed on my family

Was due to undiagnosed depression;

the fact I needed to sedate and obliviate

was something I figured was due.

At 35 I discovered I was pregnant and spent my time in fear

for previously I had lost my daughter,

and how could I go through that again?

My child was born a tribute to his father;

identical in looks I would say

But as he grew and aged the truth became apparent,

after his mother does he take.

Now I am 44 and before the mirror I do stand;

I see my flaws, my double chins, the crow’s feet around my eyes

but I have a better understanding, I am more free

from the child I was, the child I crave to be;

Peter Pan rides my dreams, for Neverland is true.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

March 15/17

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