All Functions Normal

When I went to see my doctor in February we talked about my liver.

And decided that we would do a liver function test but I wanted to wait until it had been a full year of not drinking before I went.

I guess for me that was the magic number.

I wanted one full year of my liver living clean.

I have been incredibly worried and scared.

I had from mid-July onward and finally I broke down on Monday and went in at 7:30 a.m.

I had a doctor call that afternoon and I mentioned that I had only just gone in for the test.

It is not just the alcohol that my liver has had to contend with.

I began taking pills in 1999.

Summer of.

And while the addiction to T1’s grew over time and I would stop taking them for a period only to start again.

That was a lot of acetaminophen over a long long time period.

Add in the alcohol too and well…..

I never heard back from the doctor Monday so I was going with the old adage no news is good news.

Yesterday morning I was sitting here messaging with M and my phone pinged off that I had a new text message at the same time that my notification also went off for my email.

Now generally the only other times it does this is when I have dental appointments scheduled/doctor appointments or my hydro bill shows up.

I flicked open my messages and my heart stalled 😱😱😱😱:

You have received a new message from……

Use your one time code to log in.

I clicked on the link.

I entered in my one time code.

I entered in my birthday.

I hesitated before I hit send because my natural instinct was to bury my head in the sand.

I did not want to know.

I was sure that it had to be bad news.

Why else would I have received a text?

When I opened up the message the first words I saw were Good News!

Followed by your liver functions are all normal.

I burst into tears. 😭😭😭😭

Like ugly sobbing and I called M.

Who was soaking in the tub and snarled at me demanding to know why I was calling to disturb her zen bath time.🛀🛀🛁

I am bawling my eyes out barely able to talk which then leads to slight panic on M’s end.

Finally I was able to stutter out it was a good cry and told her why.

Read her my numbers.

She promised to check them out at work last night but she had a busy crazy night so I will let it slide for now. 😂😂😂😂

I called mom too and scared her.

Even as I sit here writing this I have tears rolling down my cheeks.

All the big ones have been checked off the list.

Brain.

Kidneys.

Liver.

Internal female stuff.

I have a year’s reprieve before I get to smoosh my boobs and get a finger up the…..

©Sept. 1/21

Picture is my own

One Full Year

One year ago today I made the decision to quit drinking.

It was a Saturday and I finally faced the truth of the matter.

Quit or die.

No other choice really.

I drank a 66 oz and half of a 28 oz bottle of Rye throughout the weekend and week before July 18/20.

That is a whole helluv a lot of alcohol going into my body and my liver processing it.

I was embarrassed.

I was sickened.

I had had enough.

I have not told many people about the fact that I have quit drinking.

Lately I have become a little more forthcoming.

One of my regular customers works part-time at the LC.

Did not know as he started there after I quit drinking.

But I did tell him that that was why I did not know…..because I no longer went in there.

Another customer wanted to take me for a beer and when I said that I did not drink he asked why.

I could have said nothing and switched the subject but I was honest with him.

And he said: Good for you for knowing that you had to quit.

To celebrate my year’s sobriety I ordered a cake from work.

Or rather I picked out my Jeanne’s Cake. (Pronounced Genie)

Jeanne cakes are either you love them or you hate them.

No middle ground.

Made at a bakery in Winnipeg, my first taste of one came when I was just six weeks old at my Christening.

My Amma had brought one and I got to taste the frosting.

Every year on my birthday until I started to have parties I had a Jeanne’s cake.

I picked out a chocolate with chocolate frosting and took it to the girls in the Bakery.

I worked until 9 p.m. last night and sent J into the bakery to get my cake.

I couldn’t go in there while working as it would have melted and after work it would look funny.

When she came out with it she was smiling and said oh this is exciting!

Today I posted a pic of the cake to both my Insta and Facebook accounts.

I am doing the social media equivalent to standing on the rooftop and screaming my news to the world.

And with each person’s congratulations; with each I am so proud of you tears fill my eyes.

With each tear that drops the shackles that alcohol helped to bind me in are fully corroded and falling at my feet.

My inner strength amazes me.

My desire to be a better person; a more present person amazes me.

When you are no longer selfish; when you no longer have the veneer of self deception that an addiction to alcohol gives you; when finally you are striped bare of all your outer trappings and look truthfully at your soul; that is when true freedom begins.

©July 18/21

Pictures is my own

First time in 6 months that I was able to visit my wonderful hairdresser on Friday.

I love when she straightens my hair. 🙂