Olly Olly Oxen Free

Corner
sitting
staring out the window
leaden sky
pregnant with cold
as is my soul
my heart
now that you are not home.
Spread your wings
little bird
soar free
whispered in my ear
a means to sending me away.
Pouting
glinted ire
ragged tears
hitched rage
pain
aching
never felt this way…..
Hollowed out
messed up in the head.
You complete me!
I screamed
Don’t you dare walk away!
You did
dare that is
anger did flare
stabbed you
again and again
until there was no heartbeat
no more conflict.
Sat in the corner
painted crimson red
now you are dead…..
I have fled…..
come out
come out
where ever you are…..
©Jan. 15/20
Picture via Pinterest

Dismissed

It cost you nothing
not a single damn thing
to reach in
grab my heart
twist it
tear it
before handing it back
with nary a sorry
or sad look.
Resistance was futile
is that not what they say?
Your smooth words
my need for love
combined are deadly.
Not to you
for it was all a ruse
but for me though
these tears…..
will they ever stop?
will I ever see without blurred vision?
will I ever cease to feel
this overwhelming
black consuming ache?
Hand on the blinds
pulled  back
watching you drive away
biting my lip
this pain
I can deal with…..
this pain…..
I can understand.
Zero effort on your part
a hundredfold on mine.
This…..
it is not what I want…..
it is not what I wanted…..
yet I let you in
when you promised
that if I gave you my trust
allowed you to stand at my side
no longer would I be alone
no longer would I have to cry.
These tears
I shall let them flow
falling to dark heart
turn to ice
no more shall I love
no more shall I hurt.
Time has come
I am undone.
Trite as this will sound
(I do beg your forgiveness)
love shall live here no more.
©Dec. 2/19
Picture via Pinterest

Word of the Day Challenge #77-Untitled Poem

Grotesque
leering faces
drool dripping
liver flacid lips
pursed
desiring
chasing that final kiss.
Words
promises made
money flashed
as thought that could erase
reality
of shriveled bodies
wherein resides ego
which equates to strength
to power
within.
Float along
haze of despair
bought or sold
there are bills to pay.
Actresses all
ignoring the vile looks
groping hands
alcohol laced whispers
walking through
knowing their place.
He is the worst.
Stand aside.
Let me at him.
Porky Pig and his retinue.
Ribald jokes
roaring laughter
eyes meet eyes
and he pulls away.
Come hither
come yon
follow me here
follow me there
follow me out
for my dear…..
death has come calling
no repentance for you.
©Nov. 27/19
Picture via Pinterest

Eluded-Bullets Flying

Dangled words
pulled in
wrapped around warm
love is not here
though soon it shall return
as I begin to forget you.
The way your touch felt
when you skimmed your hand
across my naked skin.
The way your lips tasted
sweet summer wine
hay scented air
fires to brighten the night.
Dance with me
one more time
I begged
I pleaded
I could not understand
why you wanted to beat me.
In consequence
I failed myself.
I bled for you
allowed you into my head
into my bed.
As the year comes close
to when I was destroyed
I have to whisper:
Happy Anniversary
Am I ever glad I dodged that bullet.

©Oct. 20/19
Picture is my own.

Restoration of Self

This poem has been inspired by Christine of Poetry for Healing.

Her Daily Haiku-Sat. October 5, 2019

I saw a young woman
standing beneath crystal falls
head back
eyes closed
cleansing herself of her past.
Dark
depression
anger so raw
ravaged her soul
tore her apart.
Year upon year
she abused herself
she took the drugs
she drank the booze
hiding from the truth
blade driven into her heart
time was coming
she needed to mend.
Suicide was not upon her mind
the night it came crashing down
all there was
a howling void
being fed
stop shrieking
stop raging
stop
stop
stop
stop
I can take it no longer.
Yes
for that is me
young
old
middle
I am all of that
and so much more.
Look into the mirror
see no longer shame
beautiful woman
you have grown.
Entwine
image old and new
behold
glorious woman
you are renewed.
I saw a young woman
she stood beneath the falls
washing away perceived sins.
Pushing back
long golden locks
I realized it was me.
Forgiveness is a place
deep deep inside
that is where to heal begins.
I grow
I love
I desire
a new life for me
one where I am strong.
©Oct. 5/19
Picture via Pinterest

Ire’s Blade

You want to know
am I ok?
You broke my heart
left me bleeding
a torn wreck
on the roadside.
Crawled home I did
a ghoul
face smeared with snot
vision blurred by tears
scared the children
who ran screaming
for their parents.
You did this to me.
You tore out my heart.
You destroyed me…..
you destroyed my life…..
you destroyed the essence of me
for that
there can be no forgiveness.
Rage.
Black.
Boiling…..
erupting from within…..
I want to pummel
I want to break
I want to tear at you
I want you to weep.
I want you to know
how all of this feels.
A mere blip
a wrinkle
at a moment in time you needed
a creature
a woman
so much stronger
but willing to submit to you.
Daggers slip
cracks appear
no longer am I a wife
no longer am I a lover
no longer will you look at me.
Sit I will
upon the ledge dusted with sunset golds
letting the light dim
no longer am I…..

©Oct. 1/19
Picture one of my own.
Matlock Beach 2017

Turns of Time

Blooded face
teeth bared
feral fear
watch from hiding
all the men
marching through
quiet child
we do not want them to find you.
Streets
once prosperous
once lined with gold
tarred
reapered
crumbling foundation
where can one run?
Men
elected to lead
elected to protect
did what they could
to destroy
to reinvent.
A new world order
not pleased by everyone.
Watching
brutal men
ignorant bullies
with no abilities
other than trying to turn back time.
To when wealthy men were gods
women but chattel
everyone else so beneath them
worshipped
or so they thought
never realizing the heartbeat beneath.
Torn down
marched to the river
hangman’s noose awaiting
any last words must be shouted:
Why are you all
©Sept. 18/19
Picture is one of mine
taken Matlock Beach 2019
I have edited and stylized