Oh What A Feeling

Some of the best advice I have ever received:

It is okay to have down days. To feel ‘off’. For when you do it makes you appreciate the good days all that much more.

Those words have gotten me through more than one day when things have been a little ‘off’ reminding me that the tears will dry and the smiles will reappear.

Today I had a customer tell me that I gave off great energy.

Aug. 20/21

Within the Darkness

These shackles I wear

they are of my own design.

The lashes against my back,

the hair shirt I wear,

the loop of disdaining voice

played over and over

eroding my faith.

This addiction I feed

this need to sedate

comes solely from a desire to be;

to not feel,

to not face,

the imperfections of my heart.

There is no relief

only brief interludes

where sanity does reign,

but when the darkness falls

and my tears begin,

my soul has already become undone.

Cycles of love and laughter;

pain and fear,

depression and happiness;

they blow through this life,

and some days I am good

and some days I am not.

Within this all,

one emotion remains true.

I am brave

and though oh so scared,

I will rend this curtain

this veil that I wear

and I will find sunlight 

within the dark.

Jay-lyn Doerksen

December 25/17