Foolish Fantasy

Rain…..
Face pressed to window
tears
unseen
watching for headlights
straining to hear
knowing you are not to come.
Days grey
sodden wool
walking zombie
bitter pill.
Warned I was
tuck
run
do not look back
only hurt I would be.
Foolish woman
I should have heeded
my own inner voice
the one screaming
begging
for me to flee.
Deep down
I knew
before we even met
how hard I would fall
how I would regret
giving over my heart
to someone with no trust.
Faith.
I had…..
Disappointed
I am…..
Forward
backwards
time will always ebb & flow.
©March 6/20
Picture via Pinterest

11 Days to Go (Loving Myself)

Feelings
wrangled
caught
tossed aside
easier
to be non-feeling
to care not
than to accept…..
Abuse
wretched
damaging
turmoil wrought
turned my life to a nightmare
hiding
running
pain untold.
Addiction
ruination
addled
hidden from self
denial
rapt with lies
no matter how I try
caught in a vicious cycle
never able to end.
Recovery
light
happy
acknowledged
little girl lost
little girl found
learning to accept myself
learning to forgive myself
learning to be myself.
I know
but as the saying goes
better late then never.
Now…..
now I am loving my life
I am loving me
©Dec. 12/19
Picture is my own