Serenity

Like a small child

hunkered down

hiding

dreading the blow to come

so do you

make yourself so big

so boistrous

that all are distracted by the gloss.

The pains are less

washed down with spirits

with tainted love

drowning in disbelief

how did it come to this?

Within

I see the potential

I see the man you could rise to be

if only….

you gave yourself a chance

if only….

you realized happiness could be ours

if only…..

you could see yourself

through my eyes.

Understanding gained

pain released

hold me close

never let go

your serenity I will always be.

 

 

Advertisements

Caught

When you look at me

your smile on your lips

my stomach does a flip

and butterflies soar.

When you touch my hand

pulling me in close

my breath catches

as I stare in your eyes.

I keep telling myself

not to do this

not to fall

for heartache is brutal

I have felt.

Swooning

your lips pressed to my ear

you whisper sweet nothings

stroking my hair.

Even as I fall

even as I let go

I know deep down

this happiness is fleeting.

I do not care.

I will live.

I will love.

I will be myself.

 

 

I am a Queen

Trying out this new thing;
Called Adulting.
I seem to have grown once more
without even realizing it.
No longer do I feel worthless
no longer do I feel alone
no longer do I speak to myself
degrading
causing panic dear.
Oh yes
the blackest voice is there
whispering
hissing
making me doubt….
myself….
my abilities….
me.
Countered with
a litney of good:
Funny
Smart
Beautiful
Independent
words to some
lifelines
to keep me sane.
I stand
the pier soaked beneath my feet
deep cleansing
breath in breath out….
Golden Girl.
Golden Queen.
Golden Princess
no more.
Queen of my life
Queen of my destiny
Queen of my confidence.
Queen of my Soul.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
July 2/18
Photo by Matthew Brodeur on Unsplash

Devil’s Playground

Brick by brick
a wall is built
not to keep others out
but to wall in the elite.
They hold the reins
making laws that rape
deciding who can and cannot be
taking away choices
playing God
but in reality….
The Devil is in the details
take a look around
it seems to me
The Devil is winning
He has the playground.
Tempted with power
showered in glory
too late will those
who say they are right
realize they opened the door
that let Him stalk right in.
Do not cry
when we watch their world crumble
when the power they claim
wrenched with fear
from the hands of the people
is torn viciously away.
We shall see the desperation of men
and women too
clawing and scrabbling
to remain on top.
A time will come…..
The Devil will call in his dues
and the gates of Hell
will teem with so many new.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
June 12/18

Love no More

Why must it be
that the ones I connect with
the ones who see beneath
to the woman that I am
why do they always flee?
What is it about me?
My intelligence?
My creativity?
The fact that I do not require saving?
What is it that makes it so
that these men would rather run
than stay?
Once my I shutter my heart
once more I will sear my soul
once more I shall retreat
as love is not a factor any more.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
June 8/17

Picture via:  https://weheartit.com/entry/160756580                                          wanderlust @halluzinogen

Fall In….Fall Out…

Falling in love
it takes a time or two
before you see the benefits
before you see the truth.
Falling out of love
can be done gradually
taken over time
or it can end just like that.
It took a lot of bravery
to tell the one I loved
that indeed I did love him.
It took a lot of courage
to reach out and say
I would regret it if I didn’t.
Now though
the pain diminishes
each time the messaage is not yours.
The hurt
the expectations
that feeling in the pit of my stomach
all disappeared.
No longer do I feel sorry for myself
but I sure do feel sorry for you
’cause honey I am the bomb
and I could have blown up your world.
Jay-lyn Doerksen
June 6/18

 

Photo by Dani Vivanco on Unsplash

Mother’s Rage

Silver stream protector of the land

winding and bowing around rock and sand

high above the rotting cliff

lays the crumbled castle

where the Midnight club met.

They came but once a year

to renew their bonds with the land

with the energy around them

with Mother Earth.

As the time drew near

a development began to take place

a defacement of the sacred ground.

The Midnight club met and stared in horror

at the broken terrain

the fallen castle

at the machinery  whose claws

dug deep in moist soul

murder of crows above.

They muttered and murmered

they called upon the Mother

to wreck havoc on the men so crass

as to pervert her domain.

Come morning as the sun rose

brilliant scarlets and violet pinks

men stood at the edge of the land

across the crevice lay nothing

no machines

no castle

no trace that there had every been.