Boogeyman

His shadow spreads
over bitter walls
skeletal fingers
creep along
scritching
scratching
he wants to come in.
Hidden under the covers
trying to ignore the fear
counting beneath your breath
please do not let him come near.
Each footstep
each creak of the floor
an indication that he is coming closer.
Mouth working
throat closing
your scream comes out
as a whispered no.
Terror holds you tight
an embrace you cannot escape from
the door slowly opens
as you squeeze your eyes shut.
Like a child
you are convinced
that if you cannot see him
He cannot see you.
Covers slowly pulled away
a low moaning hiss
fingers pressing
nay bruising into your flesh
as you struggle to awaken
away from this horror
towards the sunrise.
August 31/18
Picture via: https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/804596289653185639/
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Latest Victim

There is no way to know
simmering beneath the surface
a silent rage
all consuming
ready to devour
those who come too close.
Whispers swell
scrabbling at the door
nasty comments
brutal fears
looking to escape
to cause havoc….
on the innocent.
Blackness roiling
filling mind
soul
with doubt
that nothing is at it seems.
Stormy sea
symphony of agony
of hatred
within one’s self
as the darkness reaches out….
to claim it’s latest victim.
Aug. 22/18

How Uncaring…..

Walking down the sidewalk
millions of people around
lost in my own little bubble
pulling in
drawing in
making myself small of notice.
I am not worthy
I am not allowed
to have the beauty
to have the love of life that all others carry.
Time
more time has proven me right
that I falter and fall
tears slashing my face
as I howl with pain
with rage
with despair.
As I lay here
mouth wrenched in silent scream
all who pass by
cast a cursory glance
before moving on.
Aug. 21/19

Damnation

I hate you
hissed the voice
across the ether of time.
Roiling ripping away
tearing my soul
ending my fears with a dagger deep.
Falling unable to stop
death seems so preferable
until I realize I am….
in a free fall all the way down.
Fires flame
lava errupts
demons scatter
leaving behind the damned.
A cacophony of voices
demanding
insistent that I…..
I alone
can save them
release them
from the nightmares they must face
as part of their damnation.
Photo by Marc Szeglat on Unsplash

Worthless

Why?
Why do you
why do I
believe that we are not worthy?
Worthy
Of love
of happiness
of kindness by others.
We shun
spurn
destroy
rather than allow others close.
Easier
to not feel
to act the fool
shy behind a confident mask.
Tears
falling drop drop
head turned aside
ignoring the gnawing pain
that resides deep in out hearts.
Trust
reaching out
admitting need
want to be held
struggling to find the words.
Why?
I want to be found worthy.
I want to be found to love.
I want the happiness

that should be mine.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

July 9/18

Nothingness

Tears seep
tracing the curve of my cheek
trailing
salty kisses on my lips
pondering
why I feel this way?
Nothing wrong
no sense of impending doom
imagination
spiraling out of control
when I know
I may have pushed too far?
Overstepping
infamous for I am
reading too much
into too little
building my fairy tales
only to knock them down.
Self destruction.
I am not crazy.
I am not insane
even though I portray myself this way.
Easier to hide
behind a sinister mask
than brimming with bright smiles
allowing the hurt
to become a dull throb
one I cannot placate.
Never crumble
never fall
ideas ingrained in my mind
not worth it
undeserving
voices playing over and over again.
Happiness
ever fleeting
skims through my life
touching lightly
only to bounce off
leaving me bereft
clutching at faded memories
of time we spent.
Hopelessness
sadness
raging pain
loss
fear
the emotions I live with
every day.
Does it get better?
Does it ever end?
This feeling of……
nothingness.
©Jay-lyn Doerkson
July 8/18

Rebirth

Lies drip from your lips

believed as the truth

unable to see

the devious nature of yourself.

Believing.

Feeling.

Hearing.

Satin shackles hold you in place

not able to see

you have the ability to be free.

Pull against the bonds of the past

see that the future is hazy

what is realized cannot be unsaid

now is all that exists.