Moonlit Wonder

When I was a young  girl
mama warned me
showed me true
all would try to use me
to get what they want.
Sweet words
cooed in my ear
slowly stroking my hair
feeling your hand
(all hands)
caress my curves.
Made to feel safe
made to feel secure
your promises
wrapped in golden ribbons
bubble around
protecting me from the world.
(First razor word
sliced through my heart)
Crimson blood wells
anger
rage
black
foul
turns like a knife
battlefield on my skin
mouth your inanitites
eyes flat
broken
your lies float in the air
tangible.
(There is no escape
there is no where to run
I will find you always
promised on the wind)
One…..
Two…..
Three…..
Twenty-Nine…..
Forty…..
Forty One.
I thought for sure
as I record your name
in my Book of Death
that you were the end
only to discover
that mama was right
men should never be trusted.
©July 29/19
Picture via Pinterest

Stain upon my soul

I wrote this in 2012 on this day. I have been paying attention to my ‘On this day….’ and rediscovering lost words. Picture is also mine.

Begone, beyond, feelings tossed to the moors

frightful, disturbing, unwanted, pain

Rapture, only found with denial, with revulsion

go not into the embrace, but fight for hell.

You say you will forgive me, you will wipe away my tears

you say that your eyes alone, can divine the stain upon my soul.

You say that through you and you alone, can I find salvation.

yet you turn your head, your ears, your eyes

When I do not behave;

how your ambassadors on earth feel I should.

Call me not a coward, nor defiant

you and you alone gave me free will

My choice, my decision, my desire

hurt not others, all shall be good.

Find the stain upon my soul,

enough to curse me.

To send me to hell.

Yet you gave me the ability to choose,

and still you punish.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

August 5/12