Baby Bro

I have always looked for comfort, not for partnership

It has always been easier to be the one who cares

Not the one who receives care because well that is just silly.

I was seven when my circumstance changed,

I was fourteen when I rebelled and fucked my brother up

I swore that he would never age the way that I did

And yet what did I do, I left the house, I ran away

he felt responsible and that broke my heart.

He and me we are the same……

he just doesn’t want to know.

I love that boy with all my heart

he is my rock, my guardian, he is my brother.

 

Who would I be?

I am not perfect, I love without abandon
I am not perfect, I love without thought
I am not perfect, I cry without knowing why
I am not perfect, never will be and I don’t know why I try.

I can lasso the sun, and pull it in close
I can lasso my dreams, and hope they come true
I can lasso my thoughts, will they make sense
the only thing I cannot lasso is my heart.

I stare into the distance, I hope to make it better
I hope that you will love me as much as I love you
I know though that my thoughts and my feelings
They are but a dream.

We came to be without regard, we came to be because
You said to me that I was welcome to leave
But really what type of person does that make me?
To leave when the going gets tough?

I stayed because it was the right thing to do
I stayed because I could not go
You never said  thank you, I understood
you only kept on taking.

I did what I did because I cared
I did what I did because that is what is right
Regrets and fears, love lost in tears
that is what my life is made of.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

July 26/14