Little Miss Fix It & Her Helper Too

Well it was a weekend that is for sure.
 
Was off Friday and T had no school so we spent the day together.
My back was still aching but managed to put my plants in the window basket and get it outside.
While it is still coolish our day time highs have been between 3-10.
And if I kill off the two plants in there they did not cost me much and I can always get more.
 
Though this weekend was the Ex’s he has a new girlfriend.
Sweet girl.
Young.
Has a daughter.
Not my business except for the fact that it is affecting T.
 
He now has a little sister according to his father and the new gal.
Who sleeps in his bed.
With all the pillows and blankets.
 
Saturday a.m. he and the girlfriend show up to pick T up.
And invited themselves in.
I had to get dressed.
They plunked down on my couch.
I was attempting to tell the ex something and he kept yammering away.
Finally I snapped that I was trying to talk and could he shut up.
Then told him I was too pissed off to continue.
 
Next up the thought of them getting a dog.
Which I put my foot down and said no to.
T is not there every week or weekend.
The Ex works nights and sleeps all day.
Who is going to look after and play with this dog?
Who is going to train it?
I finally got the ex on board to T’s dismay.
And before anyone goes well what is it to you?
I know what will happen and it is the poor puppy that I am trying to protect.
Puppies are like babies and the ex was not so great in that department.
Apparently after I convinced the ex with a no the new girlfriend talked him back into it.
She will go and feed the dog and play with it when T is no there.
I am hopeful but I mean come on…..
 
My other irritation in this matter is when my son comes home and is tired.
And cold.
And feeling miserable.
Neck and back hurting.
When I asked why I discovered that he slept on the spare mattress.
No pillow.
He used his sweater.
No blanket.
He used his jacket.
And was woken with slaps to the face from the new child…..
 
He was surly when he got here yesterday.
I had gone for my massage so missed when he was dropped off but when I returned he was here.
In his room.
Annoyed and trying to take it out on me.
Which only goes so far and I knew why he was acting up.
Went in and gave him a hug and told him I loved him.
 
Later I went into his room and stood in the doorway.
Told him that I felt maybe I was too lenient.
That I felt I should be checking his phone.
He wanted to know why?
Maybe he is being bullied.
Maybe he is a bully.
Maybe he is depressed and I cannot see it.
That my world would end if he was taken from me.
 
And did he know what would happen if I discovered that he was a bully?
 
T: Lose my T.V.
M: And?
T: Lose my Xbox
M: And?
T: Lose my computer.
M: And?
T: Lose my phone.
M: And?
T:…..Uhhhhhhhhhhhh
M: I will kick you ass from here to kingdom come.
T:…..
I turned to walk away and then turned back flashing a grin…..
M: But only once my shoulder feels better.
 
Caught him by surprise with that one.
 
Last evening I went to put the dishwasher on.
Pulled out the hoses and crap!
One hose had fallen off.
It took us about an hour before I finally took T’s advice and removed the back to get at the hose.
Took so little time compared to the fishing attempt.
Next time I will listen to him a little earlier in the repair/rescue situations.
 
On Saturday I worked the 1-9:30 shift.
A shift I dislike incredibly but I have the cutest sweetest tiniest co-worker and she was working.
I adore her but so rarely work with her as she only works every other Saturday usually evening.
So same Sat as me but evening.
I have told her before I just want to scoop her up and keep her safe and I apologized.
Told her she could go complain if she wanted but I had to tell her.
 
G: I really have to tell you something.
M: Ok
G: I really like working with you. You are so friendly. And bubbly.
M: Thank you.
G: And I feel a real sense of peace when I am around you.
M: Blinking my eyes at her.
G: I don’t know but you just have this thing around you.
M: Thank you you are going to make me cry.
 
Earlier in the day I had someone say something similar to me.
That I was peace in the middle of chaos.
Not sure that is how I describe me but to have it reiterated several hours later by a completely different person.
I must believe more in myself I am thinking
 
One last thing that I thought of.
Several times yesterday I came close to losing my  temper.
I muttered ‘hang on’ a couple of times and snapped at T twice.
But I caught myself and inhaled deeply.
In the end though I prevailed without yelling and cursing.
Except once or twice when I called the hose a bitch and the c*** word.
Only made it more recalcitrant but I still prevailed.
 
Happy Monday everyone
 
©March 15/21
Picture is my own

Chaos

Chaos.
Beautiful colors
gold
mauve
crimson
dance around my arching body.
Weaving my fingers
colored trendles pulled near
I make a tether
a leash
to keep me close
to Chaos.
With Chaos
I find reason
I find understanding
I find truth.
With Chaos
I cry
I rage
I forgive.
Chaos
rainbow colors
twisting
tying
pulling me close.
A lover of color and light.
Sept. 29/18
Photo by Petra Brýdlová on Unsplash