New Reality

*****As of Dec. 23rd I am going to have been pill free for two years. Truth is my life began that day. I look forward to continued growth and acceptance of my faults and watch with wonder and excitement as a woman rebuilding herself. My poetry is going to be a reflection of that. I won’t post this every day but I am in count down until my 2 year anniversary. 12 more days to go.*****

Tidal wave

breaking over my head

tossing

tumbling

dragging me down

no where to go

vision clouding

pain

all encompassing

no break

no change

day after day

my heart bleeds.

Challenge is acceptance.

Accepting my faults.

My sorrows.

My past.

Choosing forward march.

Choosing life.

Choosing to let go

to return to the wonder I was

before……

Depression became a way.

Addiction was how I coped.

Love was a chip to barter

body used to in slick desperation

needing to be……

someone I was not.

Someone I could hate

pour all my venom into

making myself murky

compliant

ignoring the truth

because it was easier to deal with.

Time came

climax roared

to its final destination.

Live or die.

My only choices.

I chose to live

for myself

for me…..

©Dec. 11/19

Picture is my own