Feeling Wonky

As I indicated yesterday I was coming down with a cold.

I was not pleased and with the tickle in my throat I knew that I needed to do something. I grabbed the cough syrup out of the cupboard and looked at the expiry date. September 2022.

It had not been that long and the cough was beginning. I stood up. Cough. I sat down. Cough. I took a slug of the syrup and while it was not as mentholly as it usually is, I figured that it would still work. And it did.

By the time I got to work I was not feeling well at all. And my head was feeling wonky. Light headed. My body felt weighted. Hot and cold. But the head was the worst of it.

I came home at 11. I just was not able to push myself through. Spent the day laying and dozing on the couch. Mom called to check up on me.

As I was sitting here, it still was bothering me just how wonky my head was feeling. So I decided to look up the active ingredient in the cough syrup. And once I saw it it made sense.

The hydrobromide salt form of dextromethorphan, a synthetic, methylated dextrorotary analogue of levorphanol, a substance related to codeine and a non-opioid derivate of morphine. Dextromethorphan exhibits antitussive activity and is devoid of analgesic or addictive property.

I believe that given the fact that Motrin is the strongest thing that I take, that something in this affects me differently.

K insisted that I throw the bottle out and to make sure I bought a fresh version of my cough syrup.

Picture via Pinterest

I forgot

A thing began to happen in the middle of the night. A thing that I have not had in like three or four years.

The common cold.

While at the moment I am feeling ok, I woke up several times from 3 onward coughing. And I can feel my throat beginning to do what it does when I get a cold.

It is scratchy. I feel like there is something in my throat so I am ahemming and trying to cough. It is not working well.

Do I know what is going to happen?

If it follows pattern developed years ago it will be a day or two of ahemming and coughing. Then the voice will begin to go. I have approximately 15 minutes during this phase where I could make a shit ton of money as a phone sex operator. My voice is sexy. And raspy.

At the 15:01 minute mark, I begin to squeak. And eventually sound like an amped up version of Minnie Mouse. And then it just goes. There is a voice but no one can understand me.

The only thing worse is if it shifts into my lungs (which I hate to say it is feeling like) because then I cough. And cough. And cough. I sound like a dementated seal. And once it begins it can be a good solid 30-40 seconds before I can catch my breath.

Also, there is the mom bladder thing going on. So I stand coughing with legs crossed, bent at the waist, gasping for air and praying I do not pee my pants.