Survey Says…..

A thing happened in my city this weekend.
I was not involved.
I remained in my home away from people.
All people.
My only contact with the outside world was via texting with friends and mom.
T was here-he was my in person contact.
I am not overreacting.
I am following a health order put in place by my gov’t to help curtail the massive explosion of Covid cases we are experiencing.
I am not going to rant.
I am not going to rave.
I am bloody embarrassed.😔😔😔
I am a little peeved only instead of telling you now why you must read on.
We have become a meme.
And not the good type of meme.
We have made the news.
We have made the headlines.
Not in the good way.
Saturday an Anti-Mask rally was held in Steinbach.
It began quietly enough but by Friday it was a three ring circus about to explode.🎩🎩🎩🎩
Mockery was being made.
Eyes were being rolled.👀👀
City said no one has spoken with them.
No parade permit was filed for.
Saturday a lot more people show up than I think was expected.
No counter protests.
A few drive bys but they moved along.
Yet when tickets began to be handed out people began to curse at/yell at the officers doing their work.
It has been alleged that someone even backed into one of the conservation officers handing out tickets.
Every and all government enforcement agencies have been called in to help as there are not enough officers to go around.
We are currently in a critical zone.
All of Manitoba.
In my little corner of the world we are on fire.🔥🔥🔥
Our hospital is overrun.
There is consideration that if this is not brought under control our arena may have to be converted.
Individuals are waiting in their vehicles to be triaged/info taken because we have no room inside the hospital.
Our Front Liners are burning out.
On their feet for 11-12 hours.
Barely time to eat.
There is a Public Health Order in Effect.
Avoid going out unnecessarily.
When shopping only one family member from the household should go shopping.
It limits the size of groups meeting both indoors and out.
No more than 5 people.
On Saturday crowd size varies from 100 to a few 100 to over 500.
Depends on who you are.
Depends on what you read.
What is true is there were over 5 people.
Many of whom were not masked nor were they practicing social distancing.
Fast forward to Sunday.
Backlash begins to makes its rounds.
Called out by the Premier.
Called out by the top Doc.
Called out by everyone.
Fines to be mailed out.
Yes that too is part of the Public Health Order.
Individuals found to be in breach can be fined $1296.
That right there is a whole lot of money for a whole lot of…..
I will be nice because everyone has a right to protest.
Everyone has a right to live their lives the way that they want to.
Everyone can do whatever they want.
Within the guidelines not only of what is laid out by law but by how one’s moral compass swings.
Not everyone is able to wear a mask.
Due to medical reasons.
Which is none of our business.
What is our business is our awareness that there are those who have a condition that requires them to forfeit the protection masks afford the rest of us.
By choosing to ignore this fact/rant that your freedoms and rights are being taken/striped away…..
Tells me a lot about the person you are.
Next up disavowal of rally.
Was not anyone from the city involved.
All out of towners coming here to stir up trouble.
Not the heart of our community.
Not the reality of our city.
But it is.
There are people who feel this way right here in the midst of our city.
You cannot go from being quiet and passive to aggressively stating that no one from here was involved in any way.
Suck it up.
I am.
It sucks.
Being the latest meme.
The one that says look at these idiots.
Who allowed them out on the playground?
But I am not blind.
There are pictures.
And I am not stupid.
I mean really do you think we are stupid????🤣🤣
I took and still do take offense to the point of fingers.
To the scapegoating.
Who cares where these people came from?
Come they did.
Protest they did.
Not really peacefully but they were here.
If there had really been a problem with them putting it on it would have been broken up immediately.
By Public Health Order.
But it was allowed to continue.
As was their right.
I think that the only reason that there is now a push is that we are front and center in the mockery ring and some are feeling the scorch of flames at their feet.
Have a terrific Tuesday all.
It is going to be another slow day at work I am hoping as customers continue for the most part to continue the public health orders.
But that is okay there is always something for me to do.
©Nov. 17/20
Meme was forwarded to me by a friend.

MIA or Adult Childing

I was MIA yesterday.
Not only from writing but from life in general.
There was a ban on social media.
I cheated a little.
There was a ban on news and headlines.
I saw one that really upset me but took deep breath and ignored.
‘Fessed up to a friend who reminded me that I was to ignore all news.
Later on I checked with regards to how many new cases in my province as well as cases in my area.
We are getting our names on the national map.
And not in a good way.
I spent the vast majority of my day playing games on the phone.
Watching Garfield the cartoon as well as Law & Order.
Prime starts with season 10 and ends with season 20.
Will do me for a bit.
A very interesting book I am reading at the moment.
Seven Levels.
Joe Shaunessy.
So far the main character has died and discovered he has been sentenced to the worst level of hell.
His guide/handler is a demon named Aggie.
He takes him through the previous 6 levels to show him what he is missing.
A form of torture.
I am through level 2.
Taking it slow.
This is a hook book.
One that I know I am going to miss when I am done so I read a little bit a night.
Tonight we are taking the elevator down to level 3.
I napped.
I was in a bit of a funk.
Carried over from Tuesday.
Which I am getting to.
It is going to be hard to write.
Sorry side bar here.
Not sure what is going on with Loki but he is acting a fool.
All over me.
Slithering over my arms.
Then stopping like I am going to cradle him.
Gets annoyed when I push him off my lap.
Has finally chilled enough that he is laying next to me.
Not on me.
Back from our short break.
Funk feeling.
Finally passed around 6ish or so.
Cleaned up the kitchen.
Did the dishes.
Felt calmer.
More settled.
Saw that they had redefined the restrictions with regards to outside house socialization.
Where it has gone from single household only it is a limit of no more than 5 people in social circle.
They did a backtrack thankfully.
Now let us go back to Tuesday.
I have been off for the few days.
I knew this.
Not sure what it was that has been holding me in its grip but it is there.
Tuesday started alright.
I mean I was not dancing in the aisles but I was cheerful.
Slowly though the grey feeling crept up.
I could feel it.
At one point I closed for a moment because I felt as though I was going to cry.
Came home for lunch to check on T.
Headed back.
Sat in car and tried to compose myself.
Brushed away some tears.
Took a deep breath and off I went.
And it was ok.
Until it was not.
During the time that I had been on lunch and getting back an announcement had been made.
We were going into Critical or Red zone.
I can still feel that sense of something not right when I get shifted over to a larger till.
Two of the first customers where regulars of mine.
Chatted away.
Was doing well at hiding my need to cry.
Until my 2nd customer told me we were in Code red.
Tears began to seep.
She was horrified.
I kept apologizing to her.
Reassuring her that this had nothing to do with the news itself.
That mentally I was cracking.
Not that I told her that.
I said it was overwhelming.
I had several large orders to put through before I could close down till.
I walked to the smoke shop and broke.
I cried.
I cried hard.
People try their damndest to understand.
They do.
Even my co-workers.
But if you do not do this 40 hours a week (sometimes more if I am shopping and answering questions) it is hard to explain the mental exhaustion.
I do not take the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I do not try to make everyone happy.
However in my job I am a face to the company.
I ‘know’ a lot of our customers.
Cannot walk through store without hello’s and how are you’s.
I am not complaining trying to explain.
I am ‘on’ all the time.
And it does not stop once I am upstairs.
I am still ‘on’ because they are co-workers.
Not confidants.
I cannot be moody.
I cannot be down.
That is not what my customers expect.
Nor is it what I should give them.
But Tuesday.
On my last coffee I bought coffee creamer.
I was snarly.
I went out and sat in my car.
And cried.
And cried.
Then I sucked it up and went back into work.
At 3:32 I called to ask who my replacement was.
At 3:35 the supervisor replaced me.
At 3:35 I clocked out and had my jacket on.
People are standing at CS.
And I did not care.
I looked at the girl who also clocked out and said: I am done. I know this is not nice but I need to get out of here.
I stalked out of the store.
I came home and I have not left.
Well today I will have to.
As I work at 9.
I am enjoying the quiet.
I am settling into my work persona.
I was not okay on Tuesday.
I did not run and hide from these feelings.
I allowed myself to feel them.
I cried.
I came home and T and his best bud cooked supper.
I went to bed early and was woken at 3 a.m. by the fire alarm.
I flew out of bed and was met at the bedroom door by T.
Mom go back to bed. It’s okay. We were hungry and cooking burgers.
Shaking my head.
If there is one thing that I can celebrate about Tuesday.
Despite how I felt.
Despite the tears.
Despite the weight.
I did not drink.
I did not have the desire to drink.
I did not even think that was an option.
No voice trying to cajole me.
No attempts at justification.
Just a deep need to get home make coffee and slip into a zone of adult childing.
You know.
Sitting on the couch watching cartoons sipping coffee playing games adult childing.
We all do it.
I just name it.
Have a terrific Thursday loves.
©Nov. 12/20
Picture is my own.