Baby Boy Makes Me Laugh

Well now cannot make Word of the Day challenge work (it is acid) but I want to write.
So I decided to tell y’all a story that appeared in my Facebook memory feed. He must have been either 4 or 5.
When I read it I howled.
Today I told Tember and he figures it is ‘mom’ humor…..like dad humor but way funnier.
Once upon a time
Tember was a little boy
ever so cute
but on occasion
lies were known to fall
from sweet baby lips.
Mom (that would be me)
sat next to him
stern look upon my face
and I said to him:
“Look me in the eye and tell me
that you do not lie.”
Well
Child o’mine
I been dere
I done dat
gonna catch ya out
no matter what.
Of course
no eye contact was made
chortled I did
for correct I had been.
Suddenly
Tember shouts
“No”
zooms in
tongue out
licks my eye
while I shout
‘wth dude?????’
And this my lovelies
is the best thing ever
his response:
‘Well Mom
You told me to lick you in the eye
and say no.’
©May 25/20
Picture is my own

Mini Male Me

Today has been another day of laughter. So much laughter that I am crying.
I have to apologize but I do not have a picture to make it real but today Tember cleaned out his closet. I came home for my 3:30-4 break and Tember greets me at the door with:
‘Oh my god mom my closet is nasty. Nasty! There was a bug! It was huge! I think I killed it with Febreeze!’
‘When did it last move?’
‘Not for like 10 minutes.’
‘Pretty sure it is dead.’
‘Mom do we have rubber gloves?’
‘No Tember we do not.’
‘Mom could you buy some for me before I finish the closet?’
We than measured hands to determine what size I should buy. We settled on medium turns out he needs large.
He is now relaxing on his bed……tomorrow he will finish his room. You know what though he cleaned a lot up the last week he was here. He has done an awesome job so I am not pushing it. I will still pay him his allowance.
Today he had to submit a project about probability. I asked him about it and he admitted that although the teacher explained he still could not understand.
‘Tember probability is about the outcome. So if you do something what is the likelihood it will happen again? Or consequences.’
‘Mom so like if I were to go to Co-op and steal from them what is the probability I would be caught?’
‘Yes.’
He now understands probability.
I came home with rubber gloves for him. The good kind. The real rubber gloves. The ones that can be used over and over. Tember thought I was going to bring home the type of gloves that one finds in a doctor’s office.
‘No I bought the good ones.’
‘That is awesome mom.’
‘Now you can clean the toilet. No excuses.’
Last but not least…..and both Tember and I were crying from laughing.
Tember was suppose to take the garbage down and instead forgot and let me continue stuffing garbage in there. He asked me to take garbage bag out as he would spill it. When I did I realize I need to clean out under the sink. There is stuff. So I pop up for a cloth. There are three of them in the sink. So I ask Tember why there are 3 clothes in the sink?
‘Mom what are you saying?
‘Clothes.’
‘Say it again?’
‘Clothes.’
‘What are closs?’
‘Clothes…..the things you wipe with.’
‘Mom what is wrong with you?’
A lot my boy…..a lot.
Tember and me we laugh all the time. Like all the time. We both have the same sense of humor. LOL his dad’s girlfriend even told him he must have gotten his sense of humor from me as his dad is just not funny.
I will close with this:
Came home on my first 1/2 hour.
Tember and me we talk and joke around.
When  I leave I tell him that my next break is 3:30-4
‘Mom how come you have two long breaks today?’
‘When I am in customer service I get two half hour breaks..’
‘Mom how come you are only coming home for one break??????’
And I have been busted.
April 30/20