Word of the Day Challenge #84-Untitled Poem

I sit
tears falling
blurred vision
all I can think of
is how I hurt you
how much I miss you
this throbbing ache
peering
blinded eyes
never again
together
held by you
chase the nightmares away
you became deeply entrenched
with blooded memories of my past
tangled webs
I cannot unwind
curled inward
grasping knees
piercing screams
wave after wave
venomous evil
washes over me
yawning
black pit
sucking me in
screaming
even as you held me
promising safety
protection
I know…..
I know you wished me no harm
I know you held me with love
I know…..
all you ever wanted
was to protect me true
eventually though
no one
but me
could protect me
with promise of haven
able was I
trust
held me close
chase the demons
spear them
protection
I found in your arms
only to realize
a part of the horror
the wicked dreams
forever entangled
in your love
wistful thinking
I’d be able to separate
horror from peace
in the end
I had to say good bye.
©Jan. 26/20
Picture is my own

Should Have Listened

With trepidation
stand at the door
deep breath
time to go in
time to pretend
grieving sorrow.
Lead forward
Detective
Coroner
the smell
gagging
it coats the throat
fingers dig
twist the ring around.
Words of warning.
Decomposition.
Animals.
Take a breath…..
hold it…..
hold it…..
let go
nod head
ready to look
ready to see.
Did everything right.
Waited
little longer then necessary
before reporting
contacting the police…..
he had left before
Now this.
Sheet drawn back
glance down
Yes it is. 
Do you know what happened?
No real answers.
Not yet 
but soon
thank you for coming down
to identify him.
So sorry for your loss.
Sit in the car
hair falling in face
shoulders quivering
looks like I am crying
when in reality
I am laughing.
I warned him.
I told him…..
were he to do it again
there would be no third time
for I would kill him.
©Jan. 25/20
Picture via Pinterest