Awakening

Surreal
traipsing through alleyways
on the search
unsure what I hunt for
only knowing
it must be here.
Stalking
I wander lost
unable to get ahead
yet never falling behind.
Elusive
slipping like a shadow before
there goes my love
on the run again.
So abused this heart of mine
choosing to shelter in the pain
choosing damage over health
choosing…..
to be chained
to be locked 
to be shackled.
Hiding behind a door 
welded shut 
with bars across.
No one gets in.
No one gets out.
Gingerly I knock upon the door
worried at what I might find
a wisp of Hotel California
playing in my mind.
Bars fell
door unmagiced
opens
slowly I enter.
In the corner
no longer sobbing
is that small part of me
who still loves with abandon
who believes in beauty
who believes in the possibility of everything.
Vast smile on her face
she squeals
delighted to see me
ready to go.
I gather my love.
I gather my heart.
I leave behind sorrow.
I leave behind pain.
I leave behind the worst.
My love looks in
black night
shadows dancing
squeals and disappears.
I feel my heart bloom.
Sorry to say
my hospitality for my new tenets
was very poor
so they did decay
a small pile of ashes
with no power at all.
©May 21/19
Picture found via Pinterest by The Eclectic Contrarian.

Sweet Serenity

Floating through my mind
half forgotten melody
childhood memory
I close my eyes
I breath in deep
listening to that song.
When first did I hear it?
this lull-a-bye?
Soothing my fears
chasing away my anxiety
wrapping me in the warmth of love.
I sit
knees drawn 
tears tracking my cheeks
working so hard
to not be
silly
ugly
desperate
I really do miss you.
Late at night
I awaken
lacking the warmth of your body
next to mine.
I startle from nightmares.
I wake
hour after hour
missing your arms
missing your touch
pillow sodden with tears.
I long for you
yearn
desire your truth.
Hero
villain
not sure which role to play.
I love you
what more should I say?
Could I say?
I wanted….
fairy tale love
swept off my feet
sparks between our eyes.
Sweet serenity
lull-a-bye
soothing my soul
my heartache
bringing me to balance once more.
December 19/18