It Was a Monday

I had a day yesterday.
Another one of those if my head was not attached to my body that my co-workers would have found it rolling down the aisles days.
I am pretty good at what I do but even some days I just have to shake my head and go what is going on here?
Have I somehow managed to fall into an alternative universe?
#1
Customer and I are chatting as he goes to pay.
Me: You can tap sir.
C: I don’t think that I can.
Me: Yes you can you have the symbol on your card. Would you like to try?
C: I guess so but I don’t know this new fangled stuff.
Me: I use it. It is pretty easy.
C: I am old though.
Me: Let’s try.
C (tap fails): See you teenagers and your new fangled things.
Me: Sir I am fairly confident we are same age.
C: I am a grandpa.
Me: Sir in a couple of years my bestie and I will have been friends for 40 years.
C: OMG you are old.
Me (laughing): Thank you sir. Have a great day.
Everywhere you go there are lottos.
Lotto Max=3 lines/board
Right now our Lotto Max is at $70 million with 47 max millions.
They cap our win at $70 mil and anything above and beyond becomes million dollar pots.
The ticket can be played two ways.
Quick pick: Computer generates your three lines.
Customer chooses numbers: First line is their number and the other two are computer generated.
#2
Customer: I have a $20 win and would like to play this.
He hands me his boards to play.
He has three boards marked each with an extra.
Makes the ticket $18.00
Would like to play 5 draws.
18×5=90
Customer: No you are wrong it should only be 30 dollars.
Me: No sir. Each board is $5.00 and with the extra that is $6. You have three boards which is 18 plus your 5 draws.
Customer: No I just want to play my numbers.
Me: Sir you can play your numbers but the machine tells me it is $90.
Customer: The machine is wrong.
Me:
Customer: I only want to play my lines.
Me: Sir you will have your lines plus the other two lines that are computer generated.
(Again doing the math)
Customer: I only want to play my numbers.
Me: Sir I am sorry I cannot do that.
Customer: Yes you can.
Me:
Customer: They did it at the other store.
Me: I do not know what they did but we are not able to do that.
(By now I have looked at his ticket and the numbers on the ticket do not even match what he has on his card. So not sure what happened or what he was told.)
Customer: Give me my $20 and I will go there.
***15 minutes later he was back with one board filled out and one extra for one draw.
      $6.00
       Please also know I shortened the conversation. 
       I spent about 10 minutes and had to print off a ticket to show him what I meant.
With Covid has come arrows on the floor.
To help maintain the 2 meter rule we dictate the flow of the traffic.
Most people follow however there are always those who go against the flow.
In produce there are no arrows but most people follow a general pattern.
I was in the potato aisle and getting cucumbers for my order.
After checking English Cukes for firmness I turn back to my dolly and box as a customer goes by me.
I look down at my order and realize that in fact my customer wanted a flat of small cukes not the English ones.
Me (muttering under my breath): Could you be any dumber?
Customer: Am I going down the aisle the wrong way?
Me (realizing someone is there): OMG no sir I was talking to myself. I promise that I do not call my customers dumb.
Those three interactions were typical of my day.
On top of that it was busy so I was back and forth doing my orders and helping out front.
Who knows what today will bring.
Although I am feeling a little behind this morning.
By my own time line.
No one else’s.
Have an awesome Tuesday.
©June 8/21
Picture is my own

Black Market Jay

In the new reality that we are living in I have found a lot of things to keep a smile on my face and laughter spilling from my lips. Yesterday happened to be one of those days were it kept getting better and better. There was a lot of laughter.
Customer #1:
***Let it be noted I have spoken to this customer already once this week in regards to this.
Customer: Good Morning I was wondering if you could tell me if you have any 10 lb boxes of naval oranges in?
Me: No I am sorry we do not.
Customer: But you do have naval oranges in right?
Me: Yes we do.
Customer: And are they super juicy?
Me: I have absolutely no idea. I am not much of an orange eater.
Customer: Oh. Okay. Have a nice day.
I am often expected to know everything about everything.
Customer #2:
****Very obviously not one of our customers. You laugh but there is a difference in attitude and behaviour from those who are regulars and those who shop at the other stores.
I pulled a lady from check out #1 to help her.
Florist: Hi how are you today?
Woman: I am so sick and tired of all this bullshit. I cannot wait for it to be done so life can go back to normal.
Me: Were you able to find everything today?
Woman: ……..
She would not engage. She was a miserable angry woman. Which again made me see just how miserable I use to be. There is a vast difference between pre-Kaboom and post-kaboom Jay.
Last but not least Customer #3:
***Some of what I have added is humor I added when relating story to co-workers and things they added to it as well. However the conversation between myself and customer is exactly how it occurred.
I was standing at the customer service desk when I see one of my regulars coming up and I greet him.
Customer: I was told that I should come and see you about hand sanitizer.
Me: Ok if we do not have on the shelf than we do not have any in stock.
Customer: But I was told you knew where I could get some.
Me: No sorry. We have none in stock.
Now in my head I am thinking: Am I the black marketer of hand sanitizer? Why would I even want to do that?
Addition by co-worker: Headline will read ‘Jay arrested for selling black market hand sanitizer.
Me: Smaller headline ‘Door kicked in to Sanitizer Lab by RCMP’
Florist: Soon Jay you know you will be selling toilet paper, wipes, sprays, yeast out of the trunk of your car. Line ups around the block.
I laughed so much yesterday I had tears in my eyes. Humor is everywhere you look. It is all how you deal with it.
April 30/20