Shadowy Beings

A mockery made
any love
any desire
any passion 
that I may have.
Fierce waves
pounding the sand
I stand upon the pier
tears carried away by the wind.
No one can hear me
rending my hair
my clothes
as I appeal to anyone
to help me end this pain.
Never did I imagine
a greyness
so subtle
so permanent
so insidious
as the one enveloping me
bleeding me
could take hold
embrace me within its cold reach
patient to wait
for my pledge.
Frigid darkness
fighting no longer
allow the waves to batter
break my body upon the shore
as I give in once more
to those shadowy beings
feeding upon my soul.
March 13/19


Recently Chuck over at The Reluctant Poet got into touch with me and provided me with a word…..darkness. Said to think about how I felt about it. What it meant to me. The following is the poem that came out of it. I sent off to Chuck who read and added some thoughts. I think that we came up with something awesome. If you have a chance please mosey on over and check out his blog.

Within her
a wellspring
of love
Within him
a void
no love
no hope
no empathy.
How they came to be
will never be understood.
A mystery.
How they fell apart
a tale as old as the day.
Another tragedy.
No happily ever after.
No Cinderella story
They danced beneath moonlight
they played beneath summer skies
a romance
a love affair
written in the stars.
A fantasy.
meant to be
This ending…..
so sad.
She saw the darkness 
within his inabilities.
But hid from the realities 
loving  him anyway.
Her heart swelled
her eyes teared
as she gave him 
her truth…..
only to see it 
thrown in her face.
the dawn finds her
Darkness falls.
Midnight black.
Pills in hand….
Giving into her demons
killing the pain
the only way she knew how.
Escaping her demons
she surrendered.
A broken prison
heart wrenched.
Ravaged heart.
Passion gone.
All her dragons released.
She soared on devil’s wings
pain no longer a fear
gently lulled
a lull-a-bye
singing in her head.
Darkness falls.
No longer peaceful
she hides in a fog.
Too late
no chance for change.
With her last breath
she cursed him
to never find light again.
Originally written January 28/19
Posted March 5/19

Flower in the Dark

Battered and bruised
locked in a cage
hollow eyes
in pain.
Girls so young
they should run
dream of princes on white horses
swashbuckling captains
anyone who can save them from this hell.
Lanterns held aloft
victims seen
death found
gagging on the stench of rotting flesh
knowing you can never win.
For every one girl saved
watching her blossom
a lasting gift

ten more are taken

the cycle begun anew.


I spoke my truth
while you hid behind lies
tormenting and making me doubt
that I was right.
How could you harm
one you were suppose to protect?
How could you destroy
the woman that I was meant to be?
I have spent years in denial
no, not denial
repression and as my brain awakens
the horror flows through
as once more you destroy my life.
But I am stronger than you
I am better than you
I will no longer succumb to you
and your terror.
I stand on a mountain top
breathing in crystal clear air
this is my mecca 
this is my starting point
this is where my real life begins.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
January 31/18

Harlequin’s Mask

Can you see me?
The real me?
The one who stands behind the woman I show?
With harlequin mask
gilded tears in the corners
a reality
a truth
I cannot bury.
I mouth the words you need to hear
the platitudes
the I am okay’s
so you can have respite.
Respite from my pain
respite from my need
respite from my everything.
I am sorry to bother
allow me to retreat
and the facade shall return.
Ignore the silver tears that are real
escaping from beneath
the harlequin’s mask.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
December 4/17