Word of the Day Challenge #43-Untitled Poem

I have a tiny secret
one that I hold dear
for were others to notice
it would be my failure.
Temptation
cool ice clinks
smooth drink over the tongue
soft waning of the the pain
that follows me
hour after hour
day after day
week after week
year after………
No!
I shall not be this weak.
I shall not be this fallible.
I shall overcome
put to rest
excise these demons
that must be fed
with turmoil
with fear
with any substance
that will shut them up.
Nattering in my ear
grunting
running burr covered fingers
through hair
scratching my face
my back
tearing from me
screams
pain
one black bead at a time
a feast for many.
Set the smoky glass
burning smiles
where I can see it
where I can consume it
where I can strike it from the table.
my reality
my life
no longer will I dance
lead by demons of hate.
©July 19/19
Picture via Pinterest
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Word of the Day Challenge #42-Untitled Poem

***Please note that this poem is not indicative of how I am feeling today. I am in an extremely good place in life.***

Hush little baby
Don’t say a word
Mama’s gonna……
Mama’s gone.
No one left save me.
Voices howl in my head
concentrated 
telling me 
how useless
unloved
unwanted I am.
Hush little lady
Don’t say a word
Papa’s gonna…..
Dead as dust. 
Forgotten.
Blighted stain on family name.
Slew the dragon I did
with his death.
Hush little woman
Don’t say a word
Here’s a man
come to…..
There is no man
come to care for me.
Placating the demons
galloping
hooting 
screaming
tentacles entwined
heart ashatter
mind broken.
Hush hush…..
Forgotten innocence.
Sweet sister
Demon lover
don’t make a mess.
Keep your thoughts.
Keep your reality.
I will forge mine own.
subdued 
monsters sleep
a conscious moment for me.
©July 16/19
Picture via Pinterest

Love Me Do

***This is not indicative of my feelings now.  Picture is one of mine taken the Summer of 2017 @ Matlock Beach Manitoba.***
Seated upon the broken pier
waves crashing
darkness falling
upon my heart
soul
mind
wrapping me once more
in nightmares
I cannot escape.
I thought that I had beaten
eradicated
destroyed
the demons
weeping
at my feet…..
tangled in my hair…..
yet…..
still they cling
suckling on the blackness
as at a bloated breast
feeding on my pain.
Wan
pale under the moonlight
a ghost upon the night
I can take no more
for my demons?
Commit to me
as no man has done
wrap me in taloned arms
claws easing beneath the skin
bleeding me
of fear
of passion
of desire.
Seated upon a broken pier
waves of blood roil before
I have lost.
Theses demons
shall always have me.
Feb. 22/19

Untitled Word of the Day Poem #22

Sitting in quiet contemplation
Head hung low
Silence
Rebounding
Echoing in his mind
Fleeing
Terror filled nights
Addiction hazed days
Looking
Searching
Yearning
For the one thing
To
Soothe
Silence
Still
Demons dancing
Gorging
Sated upon his fears.
Seldomly accepting
Realizing
Mistakes made
Can have a deadly effect.
Grasping for a lifeline
Afraid
Desperate
Needing
The hand that she holds.
Pulled close
Head upon her breast
Listen
Count
Heartbeats
To settle fears.
Love given
Taken
Abused
Shelter had been found
Sanctuary
Afraid
Divided
Splintered
Shards cutting
Faces seen
Many masks held
She could have been his saviour
He was her black-hearted lover
These two
Founded in the same tale
Facing the same demons
One will escape
One will fall
Free fall
Into the cesspool
Unable to break free.
Tears upon cheeks
Warm disregard
Time has passed
Forgiveness given
Forgotten
Never to be.
 
Feb. 21/19
Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash

Return from Hell

Abandon hope all ye who enter here.’
Steep steps
chiseled
hewn from black stone
back lit a flaming red
globs of lava thrown about
while demons howl
not with shame
not with fear
with blood lust
as the hunger bleeds through.
Crawling downward
ever downward
each level passing
as I search within the gloom
there is one I want
one I will kill
for all the pain
all the anguish he has caused.
At my back
demons scream
throwing bolts of flame
illuminating the darkness before me
I grimace
scorched by fire
but revenge shall be mine.
Finally the one I seek appears
bolted to the wall
fear
pain
sadness
soaking through my desire
my need
my retribution
I squint with fear.
In lowering myself
in giving in
to satisfaction that will be felt
I demean
I debase
the marrow of my being.
I draw myself up
strength returning
I look him in the eye
‘There shall never more be hope
I release you to Satan’s care.’
Head thrown back
he screams in terror
seeing the disjointed maws
black
salivating
thick gobs of spit
spun out as ropes
further tying him to the wall.
Stand aside
watch the horde rush in
my hands
clean they will remain
as I climb back up the stairs.
Aug. 19/18

Latest Victim

There is no way to know
simmering beneath the surface
a silent rage
all consuming
ready to devour
those who come too close.
Whispers swell
scrabbling at the door
nasty comments
brutal fears
looking to escape
to cause havoc….
on the innocent.
Blackness roiling
filling mind
soul
with doubt
that nothing is at it seems.
Stormy sea
symphony of agony
of hatred
within one’s self
as the darkness reaches out….
to claim it’s latest victim.
Aug. 22/18

Wicked Playground

Demons smoking dreams

Angels playing poker

green felted table

hookahs filled with fantasy

with death

desire

destruction

cards laid and played

moans of ecstasy

cries of defeat.

This is the wonder of Heavell.

A playground

integrated

for sin and virtue.

Not all Angels are virtuous.

Not all Demons are Sinners.

Photo by Radu Florin on Unsplash