Are a little harder than others.
Today is one of those days.
Despite painting and having sat outside reading, the overwhelming sense of sadness has infused my being. I have spent a lot of time this evening crying.
About what? Who knows. In my head it could be one of a million things that in this state suddenly become so overblown. From turning 50 to the feeling that I let so many people down.
To feeling like I am just faking my way through things. That in truth I have no idea what I am doing or where I am going. That I am just coasting along without any real purpose until I die.
And while 99.9% of the time I am good, today is the .01% that is kicking my ass.
Tomorrow will resume with my normal cheerful demeanor.