Under your Skin

Under you skin
push me away
disdain the truth I offer
looking instead to the pain
to the abuse
that has always come before.
Under your skin
you are not sure
unable to trust
that the words I speak
my actions
they coincide.
Under your skin
I make you writhe
uncomfortable
as I show you
there is a different side.
Under your skin
I scare you so much
for this
neither of us were looking for.
Under your skin
under my skin
we dance with heat
amongst the constellations.
One step forward
ten back
we feel our way
we fight our way
to
trust and adoration.
Photo by Clarisse Meyer on Unsplash
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Nightmare Beings

Nightmare beings
fall from the sky
wings held back
as they dive
looking for the score.
For each terror
for each torment
the devils do march
ferocious snarls
teeth bared
the protectors of children spent.
Tossed up
caught within a web
tangled within sins
unrepented.
Black widow venom
shoots through the veins
paralyzing
immobilizing
filling one with dread.
Wrapped within silken strands
I watch as you struggle
your freedom an illusion.
I shall eat your heart
the way you stole my dreams
remorseless
with blood dripping from my mouth.
Jay-lyn Doerksen
June 17/18

Howling at the Moon

Last night
wrapped within the warmth of your arms
forgetting that there were others around
my moans became a wailing tune
as you made me howl to the moon.
Twisting and turning
sheets entangled with legs
mouths reaching
senses bleeding
as we became one.
Lost
our moans filled the house
forgetting how thin the walls can be
let’s just say
this morning with red face
I felt so awkward
as everyone pretended they had heard nothing.
Photo by Matthew Kane on Unsplash

Crazy

I became lost in the sense of you
the smell of you
the desire of you
the feel of you
only to watch you walk away
leaving me empty and alone.
Pain
heartache so intense
laying on the floor
tears seep
soaking my face
my hair
I try to come to terms
with my new existence
my life without you.
My mania reared its ugly head
insanity
voices tearing me apart
despite my best efforts
to choke it
to keep it hidden
my crazy will always out.

I Fought

As a young child
I stood upon the shore
staring across the waters
wondering
wishing
I knew what was on the other side.
As a teenager
I was told what a girl could do
should do
was expected to do
I wondered why the rules were so different.
As a young woman
I married a man
who did not love me
who controlled me
who dominated me
who damn near destroyed me.
I fought to get free
I fought to break the chains
I fought to reclaim my life
I fought once more 
for the wanderlust in my heart.
Now I am here
in the waning years of my life
once more upon the shore
ready to lay my weary bones down
to slow down
to remember
the travels I fought so hard for.
Photo by Tessa Rampersad on Unsplash

Wake Up

It is very hard for me

to wait

to be patient

while you dance with play toys

and I watch from the distance.

There were no rules

there were no plans

there were no expectations

yet

I cannot lie

I have fallen head over heels

dying a little inside

each time you ignore me.

I have taken a stand

I have backed off

backed up

turned off my heart

turned off my head

I will remain on the outskirts

until you finally wake up.

Photo by Ali Morshedlou on Unsplash

 

Siren

Sweet seductress

dancing across the stars

hips swaying

fingers snapping

head back

hair brushing the floor

your lips move in silent song.

I am lost in your visage

unable to tear my eyes

from the lithe form

that is swaying

hearing no music

but a heart beat.

Half lidded eyes

desire studded lips

you are a Siren

reeling me in.

Enticing

woman of stars

of reckless abandon

caught in your web

never to part.

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash