Love gone awry

Sometimes I go a little crazy
a wee bit mad
making all my castles
with quicksand.
Sometimes I dance little jigs
and you cannot see
where once there was harmony
now we have strife.
Angry words disposed to bite
left me nothing to do
but cry bitter tears
and feel ashes in my mouth.
I have loved you
and hated you.
I have cursed your name
for the damaged touch
while you played your game.
Living beneath a cloud of darkness
wrapped in a shroud of pain
I yearn for the bright sunlight
yet walk alone trapped in anguish
unable to break away.
©Jay-Lyn Doerksen
September 12/17

Better Days

Lost in the malestorm

sucked down the eddy

braving bleak thoughts

seeking always that peace.

Knowing that there will be a day;

when the pain,

the angst,

will no longer be in control.

Days when I shall see the sunshine,

hear my own laughter

and not be crippled 

by anxiety and depression.

Those are the goods days.

The ones I cling to.

For when that blackness enshrouds;

I remember that there

will always be 

a better day coming back to me.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

August 27/17

Shards of Silver

I walk through the greying mists

seeing vague shapes

to the right and left of me.

But when I call out

my voice becomes a mere whisper,

slighter than the flutter,

of a Monarch’s wings.

My tears are but shards of silver

pecking away at my heart

Uncovering hidden losses

and the pain I try to hide.

One day there may be comfort.

One day I may be free.

But until that day I shall fight,

to come back from the albatross

that hangs around my neck.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

August 26/17

Desolate and Beautiful

I went for a walk and saw beauty in the bleak desolation of an empty beach and pier that only the day before teemed with life. And though the wind nearly blew me over I found myself drawn to the roaring waves and wind sculpted sand. I needed to take these pictures.

I always wanted to paint but lack the talent to take what I see in my mind and bring it to life on paper. Now I have the ability to take the pictures that draw me in and edit via my phone. This is just the start.


Tears

Razor thin lacerations caused by silver shards of rage

black and bleak, thunderstorms boil overhead.

Lightening pierces the evening sky, wordless pain and triumph

yet still I lay here, unable to care.

Bruised and battered is my soul;

broken and shattered is my heart;

If only you had beaten me;

the words you spewed would not reach me.

A thrashing I could have taken.

Bruises and blood fade to remembrance

broken bones can be set and healed

Angry words spoken

leave a chink in the armor I wear.

I cried tears of anger and despair

I cried tears of blood and mayham

I cried tears…..I cried tears…..tears

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

March 19/17