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I use to think, to believe, that pain was the foundation

that happiness and flowers were a fairy tale;

Words I read on a page, that made no sense

trapping me in a whirlwind of pain.

As I grew and began to see the world anew

I realized your sickness, your disease

Alcohol, a vice to others

the voice whispering in your ear.

You hurt me, your inability to see

alcohol was your mistress but what the fuck about me?

Deadened to expectations, accepting only what I could see

my lip curls now in disdain, as I realize;

A man you were not, a father you could never be

a childhood destroyed,

never once an apology.

I spit on you,

your sacred memory.

I hope you burn in hell

accompanied by the demons

who damned you in life.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

Aug 1/12

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He was everyone’s best friend

yet a horrid husband and father.

Demons cried, piercing his pain

until alcohol was the only game.

Destroyed two lives;

thought it was a game,

died before retribution could be handed down.

He cared for others but not his own flesh and blood

demanding that we love.

Damned to the Underworld,

demons gobble his pain.

I can hear your cries, your pleads for help

but all I can feel is my pain.

 

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

July 31/17