Love Like Me

Last night
I dreamed
I walked amongst the stars
clouds beneath my feet
there was no pain
there was no sorrow
only
a peaceful understanding.
Locked deep within
the beasts brewed
howling
scratching
trying to break free
of the gilted cage
padlocked
sealed shut
I try not to peek there.
Nightmare shadows
breathing hard
putrid breath
walk away from the cages
pretend not to see……
I found you within this dream
a prince
to my princess
maybe not?
More a fighter
a saviour
easing your way in
passed the guardians
passed the door
barred
nailed shut
yet you pry at it
determined to discover what I do hide.
Find within
a broken heart
a battered soul
who do I trust
how do I tell?
At the apex
you found your way in
breaking down the barriers
the false front
that I show to all
wrapping me in tenderness
in love
in faith.
I awoke
no longer the dainty damsel
another body
another brain
another fear
why cannot I not find a love like…..
flames dancing in the fire
passion burning hot
why instead
do I always end up with heartache?
©May 8/19
Picture via Pinterest and found by The Eclectic Contrarian
Advertisements

Picture Prompt #1

***John over at The Eclectic Contrarian sent me two picture prompts to work from. This is the first one.***
Ribbons of desire
swathed in bliss
enraptured
captured
I draw you in.
Your heart to mine
your lips on mine
your hands on my hips
guiding
balancing
pulling me in.
In my dreams
we are dancing
an intimate caress
full blown
wave upon wave
cresting
questing
drowning in our need.
Drifting
I reach for you
fingers graze
you slip away
leaving me dazed.
Awake
sodden pillow beneath
hollow
empty
dream lingering on my lips.
April 6/19

Broken Reality

Broken
battered
left on the side of the road
left to die 
without anyone to hold.
Grim reality
scattered dreams
heroin needle
still stuck in the vein.
Star struck
beautiful girl
ventures to the land of sin 
deceived
degraded 
by the one who made her whole.
Within her soul
a blackness grew
as night after night
aspirations drowned
vile glass 
after vile glass 
men worked to take her down.
Her life 
her desires
when they touch her
vacant eyes staring 
above heaving shoulders.
Visions of escape
ideas
flew from her mind
only the call of the needle
could sate growing hunger
eating her from the inside.
Broken
battered
left to die
slowly tears gather in her eyes.
Visions of parents
a home left behind
fade to black
as the grim reaper
reaps her soul.
January 28/19

My Dream

There are no words
no soothing moments
healing the pain 
scraping free 
fresh flesh
covering the burns.
I am lost.
I no longer know
truth
reality
falsehood
lies
I must rely on the clues
the ones that I read.
So easy to disassemble
to ignore
the pain that we have caused.
Not you
not me
all could have been avoided
had you listened 
had I listened
to words we had spoken.
Am still unsure
how you clicked on that word
how you created a fantasy
from a misunderstanding
but you did.
I never said I would fuck another
I said
he would never give up.
I never gave in.
I was true.
From that first time 
to the last time
I fucked no one my dear
but you.
I opened my heart
I imagined a future
one now destroyed
because 
I think 
you saw what you wanted
what you believed would be done.
Never realizing
I was not a little girl
but a woman
unwilling to play games.
I told you.
I warned you.
I was not willing to play.
I am an adult 
no time for make believe.
I want…..
truth
love
loyalty
in the man I dream of.
 
January 21/19

Untitled Poem Daily Word #12

I awoke this morning
from a beautiful dream
of me and you 
laying together 
building a future 
for ourselves
that can now no longer be true.
Tears
stream
seep
soak the pillow beneath me
as I lay 
my hand outstretched to that cold place beside
where once you did lay.
Every time I believe…..
I believe I have shuttered my heart
against the pain
the anguish
the sudden slam of memories
I discover 
I am wrong.
My heart
thawing beneath your love.
You shattered
destroyed
obliterated
the marble cage I had built
melted the barriers of ice between bars
reaching in
making me believe
in true love again.
I keep writing the same love song
humming it along
hoping to stem the flow of tears
weariness
pain
that I feel.
When does it end?
I do not even know.
I ask of you
when does it end?
I awoke before you could answer
tears shimmering 
unchecked
unfallen
in the corner of your eyes
as you reached for me
making my heart bleed again.
 
January 5/19

Dusted Dreams

It was meant to be a dream
a farce
never meant to go further.
Yet it did.
Here we stand
at a crossroads
we must decide
whether to go forward
or turn around
walk back the way we came
to never explore
ascertain
that we could have made it work.
I sit here
tears free falling
mourning the loss
of innocence
trust
love
heart breaking
shattering
destroyed
by one single act.
Our lives
unsure
that it can go back
to what we had
to what we shared.
Love given freely
trust brokered
gone
single snap of the fingers
I want to scream
‘It just isn’t fucking fair!’
This was my dream.
I have had to watch
as it crumbled
sandcastles in the sky
washed away by
treachery and deceit.
Picking up the pieces of my heart
locking them away
jeweled casket.
I will eat the key
give it to no one
shuttered forever more
against love
against wants
against dreams.
Dreams are meant to be broken
not lived.
November 19/18
Photo by Joel Pilger on Unsplash

Miss You

I miss you
miss your arms around me
miss the smile you give me
when what I say
it makes sense to you.
You listen to me
listen like no one has ever done
making me wonder
who you are
what your game is with me.
Why do you reach out?
Why do you make me feel?
I was content for it to be playful
no emotions
no feelings.
You changed the game
or was it me?
And now we look at one another
eyes hooded with lust
with desire
with trust.
All I want to do
is crawl into your arms
to have you stare into my eyes
I want to wrap my legs around
draw you close
baby please draw me near.
We are scared
we are daring
we want one another
what we don’t want
is the pain
the fear
that we carry in our hearts.
Aug. 22/18